Quote: Yours are the only poems/lyrics that I actually read...that was BEAUTIFUL.....
Wow... I am touched by your statement. That means a lot to me. Thank you so much.
Quote: To actually alter the neural pathways that triggers take in your brain..away from the primitive emotion centres and toward a more normal memory retrieval pattern.
The eye movements and hand tapping are thought to engage both halves of the brain which are not functioning in tandem the way they should when you experience PTSD memories/feelings.
Much to munch.
Quote: Have you ever read "the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund Bourne? I swear it saved my life.
No I haven't, but I will definately put it on my "must buy" list. I'm having a tough time with the after shock from last year. So, I need all the help I can get.
Your support continues to be paramount in my recovery.
I also found the book at my library and have placed a hold on it.
My understanding from what I read on the website is that the person thinks of a positive and negative thought.
They focus on the negative thought and move their eyes laterally, back and forth for a bit of time...and do this several times until the negative thought no longer produces such hurt...
Then they repeat the process while focusing on the positive thought.
So, if I'm reading this right, I might use as my negative thought a memory of Monkey crumpling up our wedding picture and throwing it away.
Then do the eye movements.
Then when that doesn't hurt quite so much, focus on the wonderful progress we've made and that he told me last night to tell people that "My husband is an idiot...he was stupid but has realized his mistake." in regards to our separation.
I believe that I am suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome and that makes recovery a little bit more difficult than I had previously anticipated. I'm sure I will also have this problem! In the first stages we are so geared into making changes, monitering the reasults, detaching and hoping our S's come home. That when they do come home we start a new stage; reality sets in and what we worked on so hard starts to change on working with our S's to keep the R on the right track. We also then seem to go back and have to deal with all we've been through. Think of it as the 6th stage of MLC; we have to go back through everything, closing the doors one by one.
I know that this post must sound selfish and petty to those who are still working so hard to pull their R back together again. But I've found that there are others here who have reached the same level of DB success as I, yet they too suffer with simular after-effects. So I take comfort in knowing that I'm not alone and/or just plain looney. "looney"? You? NO WAY! What we go through is very traumatic! We actually deserve more than a thank you or a pat on the back! Oh well, there are a lot of people in my surrounding area that think I'm nuts for "waiting"! Why do people think we are "nuts" because we are not doing what they think is right!?
There is "piecing the marriage back together" and then there is "piecing oneself back together". I'll agree 100% with this! I think you even have it in the right order! Because when they are home there is a whole set of new things we have to deal with. Since I can't talk from experience, but I do see from others here, just how hard it is!!
I've got to clear a new path for myself with little more than a pocket knife, so ... it's going to take some time and patience. I love this! Did you ever think of being a writer!? Could be worse; you may have a butter knife instead!
And it is healing for me to hear that my story is helping others. You are a great help and your attitude is wonderful!
Hang in there and stay positive. Because, as you can see, many wonderful changes can and do happen. Thank you!
I tried the method that I outlined in my post yesterday. I think it does help.
imalright,
You said:
Oh well, there are a lot of people in my surrounding area that think I'm nuts for "waiting"! Why do people think we are "nuts" because we are not doing what they think is right!?
My opinion...because they've been taught by society/media/etc that the 'proper' answer to our situations is to move on, jump into another relationship with someone else, and financially screw our ex.
I suspect that as more and more of us follow the DB path, that divorce will become the crazy thing to do.
Quote: My opinion...because they've been taught by society/media/etc that the 'proper' answer to our situations is to move on, jump into another relationship with someone else, and financially screw our ex.
I suspect that as more and more of us follow the DB path, that divorce will become the crazy thing to do.
And hopefully it will become the right thing to do! DBing a way of life!
You're right too many think that way, and what a crying shame!
PiB, Thanks for contributing the link http://www.emdr.com/. I've gone there and quickly skimmed through it. Spare time is a scarcity around here lately.
I, also, have been trying the lateral eye movement thingy, although I have no idea if I'm doing this correctly or fully.
Phoenix. Are you also suffering from GAD or PTSD? Outside of myself, Shiny and Tal, I'm just wondering how many other people here are dealing with these delightful disorders.
disorders.