Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE How to convince resistant LD wife?

Yeah, men like the feel of silk or satin on a woman!

Very subtle? Just wear things that accentuate your feminine features and have your hair well styled. And make it seem like you dress that way for yourself and how you feel about yourself, not for him specifically. Make him wonder a bit.

Also, men like to be admired by women for their talents, personal traits and hard work. So, as with any married couple, there are endless things you could complain about, as well things you could admire. It's better to use more carrot and less stick. Make him feel that he's going to have a hard time getting the same level of sustained admiration from someone else as he gets from you.

So, as one of many things... at the Thanksgiving dinner with your adult daughters and their father around, bring up a story where you admired what your H did. Make him look good in front of his daughters. Another woman would have a hard time competing with that.

I'm getting horny just reading this!

What do you think the solution is for a guy like me in his early 60's, but still wants sex about as much as he did in his 20's? Sure, I accept that for many men and women, their interest or physical comfort for frequent sex drops off. But it doesn't make me, personally, any less frustrated. I'm irked by the often implied suggestion that I should not want sex as often -- something I started hearing from my wife after the first few years of marriage, and which we have agreed not to talk about anymore since it goes nowhere. And I'm especially irked to hear the suggestion that at age 60, I should be less interested in intercourse, or not have it at all and just cuddle and have non-intercourse like things. Try telling that to a 20-year old, and that's my reaction too!

So how would you handle it if your husband really wanted sex once a day? Try it anyway, or try to convince him that you're happy to do non-intercourse types of things, or tell him to just contain himself? Or say you wouldn't mind if he just took a centerfold magazine into the bathroom and just took care of himself?

I would consider his desire his.

Meaning that there is not right or wrong there and it isn't something that can be controlled. Only behaviors can be controlled.

As for engaging in sexual I. every single day...uh no! But that doesn't mean we couldn't do other things.

A couple of times a year, perhaps say, anniversary, birthday, Christmas, I may give my H. a coupon for a week of sexual bliss. Meaning everyday for seven days. I would probably plan it out, so I could sustain tension. This would be my way of saying " I get you. " and I am willing to love you the best that I can.

And yes him masturbating is something that is his choice to do as well.

I remember how I felt in my early 40's and remember feeling horrible for teenage boys. I had no clue that is what they felt. To be frank, I believe it would have been horrible. At least I, being married could engage with my H. Boys don't have that option.

As for what you can do? I believe we've exhausted the ideas. I do not believe that because of your age, you should feel poorly about your high L. but you will need to take care of yourself.

She does not believe that your needs are important. The more you pursue, the more she will withdraw. Unless she empathizes with you, places your needs as a priority , I do not believe it will change.

I personally would make it very clear about how you feel about her attitude towards the marriage and your needs.

Not berate her, really share your feelings about rejection, and how you feel about her choosing to act the way she is.

You too have to make a very personal decision. If she could care less, what does this say to you? Because this is a huge thing for you. If you are happy and content in all other areas of your relationship, and you do not wish to abandon it for this one area...perhaps join her?

I don't know, is there a prescription that kill libido? You could possibly take it several times during the week? This way your body doesn't drive you crazy?

I read that and wanted some input , thanks.



I have been doing that. He has noticed, and generally compliments now, but you know , he isn't attracted to me and he doesn't know why?



I will say, in the past this is an area that I'd always do. I know men need to feel admired, respected , and yes , that they too are attractive.

I will think about something that puts him in a good light. That is a very good idea and will be a priority and my new homework assignment.

Your first assignment, (flirt and engage) was successful and I will take this homework to heart!

I appreciate your candor and suggestions, as well as your time.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Think about your mother quick...
Oh if it were only him...

This has been very, very interesting.

I hope you all have a good Thanksgiving

The Captain

SSmg,

Well I got gutsy and wore a knee length black knit skirt. My top was a V-neck figure flattering black and white blouse. He could see my cleavage and the stockings I wore were black seamed. The shoes were black patent leather 3 inch heels, with a leopard hair 1/2 platform ( very subtle ) and the heels were red patent leather. My hair was superb, and he noticed the package, so did his brother. The evening was fun and very relaxed. He was a bit more quiet than normal at times, and he made a point to cuddle with the dogs. He misses them.

H made a lot of eye contact. When it was time for everyone to scoot, he did linger. He hugged and kissed me on the lips goodbye, 3x's. Made a point to tell me I looked good. I squeezed his rear the last time, and flirted a bit. He played back.

He'll have something to think about on his two hour drive back to wear he is staying.

Wow! I'm sure he thought about you on his two hour drive back. I'm not quite sure how he managed to leave with a lengthy detour through your bedroom! There's something wrong with your husband!! Or maybe that's just my high libido talking.

I meant "without a lengthy detour".

If only I could get my wife to have your attitude. Arrgh!!