In the last 10 months, I have noticed that he's been in contact w/a lot of people from his hometown. Rip had mentioned that he had been up several weeks ago to visit w/some cousins, i.e., people that I really never had much contact w/in the 25 years I was married to him.
I have also noticed he's not as involved in the volunteer fire department stuff since his wife passed away. He's shifting his interests once again. Pre-crisis he tolerated his job as a professional fire fighter and didn't want to volunteer on his off time. Once the crisis was full blown, that is all he lived and breathed until now...
I think that the day his wife passed away, the music stopped for him. I think that all of those parties and fun times were w/the friends he met thru her. I also find it interesting that he wants to live the city where all of the activities/interests are that he left home for. To go to the Oriole and Raven games will take him easily two hours versus 30-45 minutes tops.
It's going to be very interesting to see what pops out of that plastic Easter Egg once it ready to hatch. Who will Rip become? That will be the million dollar question and one that I have been patiently waiting to see after all of this time. I have been like a cat sitting and waiting for that pesky little mouse to peak out of the mouse hole...now it's just a matter of time....I pray that he will find some peace and happiness for once in his life.
Off to sip my bubbly!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
uR, It just goes to show that if you allow Lady Karma to do her work, things do happen, good or bad. I never wished him any harm or ill will and I'm sorry his wife passed away, but I do think his time to move on was very close from all the signs I saw in the last 10 months. Maybe her illness was giving him some thought to his own mortality. He's been more open in responding to my questions about things going on w/him.
uR, you are absolutely correct, it's time for him to face the next part of his life. I do think this next chapter will be the most important one of them all. He's very near to the age his father passed away.
I only wish him peace and the best of luck.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Oh Job. WOW. she turned her head towards Rip and did her magic, eh.
I'm glad you'll find peace with him moving further away.......you deserve only the best!!!!!!
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
RockJC, Yes, two deputies escorted my xh to my home to retrieve a plastic Easter Egg that was very old and worth a couple of dollars. This was an old egg that his mother had given to me to use as "filler" for an Easter decoration. There was absolutely nothing special about the egg and when he demanded the egg, I got it appraised and like I said, it was worth a couple of dollars. This little episode was quite the talk of the Forum when it happened in June of 2000. It was a very revealing day of just how far he was mentally gone and those deputies come by every now and then to chat and ask about him.
Ambivalent, I was married 25 years. I kept the marital home and bought him out of it. Fortunately for me, he was dumb enough not to realize that his equity valued was worth far more than what he got. He wanted only a third of what he should have gotten. I was more than willing to split 50/50, but he didn't want to do that. He was very desperate for the divorce to take place and he needed money. I have all of the furniture, tools lawn equipment, etc. The only things he wanted were the Easter Egg, my set of keys to his Blazer and his baby/childhood/military photos. He had already removed all of his personal belongings within 30 days of leaving the second time because I was advised that I couldn't change the locks until he had removed all of his personal belongings...unfortunately he didn't realize that little nugget of info...but it served a great purpose because he had already planned to come back while I was at work and remove furniture. His plan fell thru because I had the locks changed the same evening he came for the rest of his personal items.
My xh became the complete opposite of himself. He was a monster to the highest degree. I have never known anyone that could be as angry, nasty and vindictive and revenge seeking as he was. He wanted out and I was willing to give him the way out and yet, he came at me over and over again in many ways. He really played dirty throughout the 3 years to the divorce. Did he go away after the divorce? No, I still had things little yard/garden figurines disappear, packages would disappear, mail would disappear out of the mailbox. If I had a set of figurines in the garden, he would take one, so that I would know he had been there. It got to the point that when I put my hand on the mailbox, I knew he had been here. Throughout his crisis, I would get a lot of strange calls. I even began getting calls on my birthday from Jeffrey the Giraffe from the ToysRus on my birthday at work. The funny thing...I don't share much of my personal life so no one at work knew when my birthday was. What I did find interesting in the last 5 years, is that if I had email contact w/him, I didn't receive the calls. If he hadn't heard from me in a while, the calls when begin anew. The "missing" items stuff ceased a few years ago. The calls ceased when his wife was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago. Now, well, we touch based because of him wanting to talk about her struggle and death from cancer and his moving on w/his life.
I will just add this...he became really stupid and dumb when he was trying to gaslight me and w/his threats. It was like he didn't realize I was up on the law and what he could and couldn't have or do.
Yes, I most certainly did have a mentally challenged, angry monster for a MLCer. I had to be strong in order to survive and stay two steps ahead of him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
A strange twist indeed, but a long time in coming. The more I see of this kind of stuff, the more I realize what a strange an wonderful thing life is. I haven't had it as bad, but some similarities. And like you, I look forward to these kind of times as that really is the way out for the MLCr. I'm convinced of that
I wish him the best and hope that peace comes. For you both.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
