Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Look what the cat dragged in! (TL)

Darn it. I messaged him to suggest it might be good to buy the tickets earlier today for the movie in case it sells out and to let him know the first showing after son gets out of school isn't until 6pm. So now he messaged me back to skip the movie, we will do it another time.

Crud, sorry about that. I thought for sure...well, what was I thinking, it's mlc fog cr@p.

Can you and your S do something fun at home tonight? Make it movie night at home, pop some popcorn, get sodas and snacks....just a thought. Make it fun anyway, despite skaterboy.

Hope you get to have a fun evening anyway.

What is it with MLC men and Beards?? My X started out with the "designer stubble" but as time progressed it became this horrible beard. It is patchy, as part of it is growing white/grey, I think it makes him look like an old man. He is also growing his hair. Not a good look.

I kind of lost my marbles this afternoon. I went off on him and I did an impression of his OW which was admittedly over the top and I made sure to refer to her as a twinkle twat... which he laughed at, and I got kind of pissed because it was supposed to be funny to ME, not to him.

He tells me "equals walk away" I tell him "cowards walk away, equals stay and work their [censored] out even when it isn't pretty."

He told me I should leave his den so he could watch Youtube videos. Continued the "argument" a little later via messages. Wish I had kept the discussion, it was popcorn worthy.

I went to the garage and got boxes out and packed up most of his clothes we wears on a regular basis and loaded them into the car. I left him a note to let him know most of his stuff was packed, he could pack up the rest this weekend. I was making it easy for him. He didn't have to decide anything or lift a finger. I made the decision and did the work for him. Just go.

I got dressed in layers and left on my own two legs not intending to come back until I figured he'd be gone. And as I suspected when I got home he had already left to skate. He had unpacked all the boxes out of the car and left them in the living room.

I texted him that I had been thinking a lot today and The Universe had given me a pretty strong signal today that he never really loved me anyways. I don't know what I am supposed to be waiting for, for him to finally START loving me? That doesn't seem too likely to happen while he is busy loving and sleeping with someone else.

Followed by: "There is a reason you almost never said you loved me. There is a reason you never wanted to marry me. And the most simple explanation is because you didn't love me. You basically even said this a few weeks ago, and I should have just listened. It would be pretty silly for me to think that the [censored] that is going on right now is going to magically change all that.

He texts me back: "You don't know what you are talking about. Send me msgs to the computer please."

I text back: "Don't worry. I am done now. Why the EFF would I send messages to the computer? You aren't going to give a [censored] either way. The only thing you really love is skating. But I am sure OW will probably be happy enough if you manage to love her even half as much as you love skating. Lucky girl."

So umm yeah, that happened. And you know, I don't feel that bad about it. I am not a doormat. I don't need to see his stupid happy face every day while I am miserable.

Ok firstly "twinkle twat". That is genius. I really lol at that!!

I'm sorry you had such an awful argument. It must have been very difficult for you.......sometimes we get to a boiling point and it just blows.

I would keep it out of text, that just never works well, it tends to make things,worse actually (as I have learned well). Maybe, now, that you have gotten the that off your chest you can keep it more fact based, less emotional, and you may find it an easier conversation.

I could be way off...I'm sure there are wiser voices to come.

Take care tonight tl. Have a good one......we're here for you!!

T,

I hope you're doing ok. Sounds like a very emotional exchange.

Please step back and leave it for tonight. Doesn't sound like he is in way able to really hear what you are saying right now. I'm sorry for the frustration you are feeling. I know how maddening it can be. Pull back and regain your center--do it for your son if you can't do it for you. He needs you more than ever with his dad off in adolescent skaterland.

Aspies are so terrible at expressing their feelings, but you know how good they are at sensing trouble. Your son will feel your stress. It's unavoidable. Pull the focus back to you and your son. Nice and easy, slow and steady.

Vent here if needed.

Much love to you.

Heather

I am sure it will change nothing. He will convince himself he is entitled to keep his [censored] here and come and go as he pleases because he pays the rent. But honestly, I do think it would just be easier if he went. He is too comfortable with a foot in both places and I am ready to slam the door a few times on my end, I don't need to put up with this.

You're completely justified in your feelings, FOR SURE, but before you say anything further or make any other decisions give yourself a day or two to take a breath. We don't want to be in the same position as our spouses and making decisions based on emotion.

Vent here alllllllll you need though.

Try to remember this one mantra I repeat when I'm so angry I could bury him in the garden......

'The only difference between me and him is that I know I'm mad'

He thinks he's acting rationally and you know you're not. Give yourself a few days away from his drama and relax. Make decisions when you're in and even place. Emotional decisions are for mad men and idiots!

Perhaps you just needed to get this out of your system.

Hope you're feeling better today.