There is not much you can do... Save start doing the "pick me... pick me" dance. Not becoming.
I'm not really interested in the "pick me... pick me" dance. Since I no longer bring up us or our R, I don't feel like I'm putting out that vibe. It would be more accurate to say she needs to make a move sooner than later or lose me all together.
Today is just depressing. It's cloudy outside. I don't feel like doing anything. D is pending (for how long?). I get out more, but I'm just putting off returning to an empty house each day. I feel like there is no movement on her part. I'm tired of doing all the lifting, taking care of the house, paying all the bills, and having to do it all alone. I miss affection. I miss passion. The holidays are nearly here. For the first time in my adult life, I will be alone on my birthday. I can't even decide whether any of it is worth celebrating. (Not very DB, I know.) Even if it was, I don't know what to do. It's that time of year when most people spend time with family and loved ones. That doesn't leave many, if any, friends or companions. I thought I had my plans to get away for the holidays, but then my family intruded. I have not had much luck making alternate arrangements this close to the holidays. Some days, I just feel like I cannot catch a break.
Yes, life can feel that way. I am amazed at how much weather can affect my moods, too. It is cold and damp outside. The leaves are wet and a big B to rake.
I know about the holiday thing as I have been through this before. I will get through it. It is tough when all the people you know are with their families. It kind of makes me feel left out.
The decision whether to carry on is yours. I try not to get caught up in my emotions. Emotions can be fleeting... no matter how strong they are.
I keep thinking about you, buddy...
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
Seriously, sometimes surviving is all we can do. However, we are surviving. We will get through this. We will be better for it in a lot of ways.
I am thinking of going to a buffet for my Thanksgiving dinner. Stuff my face and go home and watch all that football. Maybe get one of those small butterball turkeys and gorge on it.
I am looking into going down to the shelter and seeing about helping out serving dinner. There are a lot of people worse off than I am.
Hey, let's go bowling!
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
So Monday, my W asks me if I would like copies of some documents she prepared. I said yes. She later emailed them to me. We had one or two small exchanges about a job candidate that interviewed that day.
Today I checked my mailbox at work and found a bundle of fish shaped paperclips. I had never seen anything like them before. When I mentioned them to my W, she indicated she knew about them because she put them there! Boy, I can be dense. She didn't make any other comment about them. She let me know she needed to make some corrections to the documents she shared Monday. She said she would accept any corrections I might suggest. When I stopped by later, she did not seem agitated or hostile as she heard my suggestions. She even made a joke.
So... communication is down, visits are sparse, but thoughtful gestures are up. I better get a microscope or I might completely miss any movement on her part.
That she asked for your opinion on the documents and accepted your suggestions is communication. It means she is listening. she is accepting. Personally, I think that is huge.
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
Having read the 5LL, I find my LL is quality time. As I have gotten older, I appreciate the thought that goes into the gift generally more than the gift itself.
Originally Posted By: MrCAS
That she asked for your opinion on the documents and accepted your suggestions is communication. It means she is listening. she is accepting. Personally, I think that is huge.
On and off for months, we have had work related communication. Generally speaking, that is nearly all there is. I do admit that her asking for and listening to feedback from me is something she generally did not respond well to in the past. When I said communication was down, I meant that after her initiating a number of phone calls and emails, she has stopped.
