Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis I Believe it Cause I Feel It

Well, he broke the silence at 7 am.

So is there a reason you feel it's appropriate to pack up all the stuff you think is garbage and not actually make any decisions on the stuff that matters ?

Last time he talked to S19, so appropriate!!!, he said he was leaving the stuff alone. Sorry, buddy you can message me directly. Oh, and your car is valued at $4000 more than mine so I want my half. And there's the $380 you took and cashed knowing it wasn't your cheque.

I gave him camping dishes, real stoneware as I figured he didn't have any and he wanted camping stuff. Frying pan. A sleeping bag. Two pillowcases he brought into the marriage. His cycling backpack ($100 value). Photos of his family and some from our boys and life. A full size blanket made by his mom. His mail.

I don't think I'm going to respond. What's the point? I find it funny that this is the fourth box of stuff and he has gotten upset twice now. Did he think I'm just gonna store his stuff? I wonder if seeing me yesterday upset him too?

Ugh wr. I wouldn't respond to that, but that's just me.

Seems like he is trying to give you a dig. But maybe I'm feeling offended today, LOL.

But I agree just doesn't seem worth it to respond and then argue over a silly box of stuff.

It would seem I'm definitely on the radar again. He messaged me again but this time about the iTunes acct

It's been my cc on the acct for months and I was worried he could access my stuff through iCloud when he used his Apple TV. I changed it. He must have figured it out because I got a message this afternoon about it so I changed it again.

"Not sure what you have done to iTunes but I cooperated with you so you could have full access to my acct and gave you my password and now you continue to lock me out......"

What I really want to say is you did not buy all that music by yourself and just because you set up the acct it does not make it yours. It makes it the family acct. especially, considering, much of what was purchased was with gift cards for our kids. My cc, I have the family, suck it up butter cup. Oh and where is my $380?!!!!!

But, I'll stay quiet. Good idea? I don't know if I should respond or not? I don't really want to engage him but is ignoring him bad??

I'm not sure what the answer is here, but sounds like he should get his own account. If it's on your cc, and it's a family account...just sayin'.

I wouldn't respond either. Let it rest until and if he pursues it again.

Too bad you can't really say SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP! Haha

WR,
The holidays are coming and he's coming out to play ugly. Unless the discussions are truly of a serious nature, I would ignore his texts. For what it's worth, Buttercup should get his on iTune account and use his own credit card. That's the key...your credit card is on the account.

Buttercup wants everything his way, including you storing his stuff. Buttercup is now having to deal w/the consequences of his actions. Continue as you have been...don't take the bait when he's texting about trivial stuff like the iTune account. It's easy enough to establish a new one and he's using the family account as a way to come back at you. Ignore him.

Annnnnnnd H has a new name. BUTTERCUP!! I like it:)

Thank you both for your input I feel better with my decision to ignore him. I wasn't sure if it would do more damage to ignore him or to try and calmly explain.

I was shocked that he even messaged me, job. It's been three weeks of silence. I thought he was gone forever.....in a sense

WR,
Buttercup will be around for a very long time and pop out to send you a postcard periodically and when you least expect it.

WR,

Job speaks the truth! Six months of silence and now I am up to a text a week.

Right now, he is feeling the consequences. Not necessary missing you or the family - the crazy bats - but all of a sudden having to deal with the "real" stuff. He can't just continue on in his new life but keep the parts that are most convenient to him.

And I love it....Buttercup!

Ugggg, something to look forward to! Buttercup forever.....and then MAYBE one day H again. I can dream, can't i? Lol

I see what you're saying Portia. Not so fun anymore? Maybe, the lonely basement suit with no familiar stuff in it? None of his comforts? Not enough to miss us but enough to be on the radar? I wonder if seeing me, making eye contact, brought up feeling that he thought he had squashed? Made him angry again.........


Buttercup. Buttercup. Buttercup. Hahaha

Hi all. Not much change. I never responded to H's texts and he has not contacted me since. I'm still down in the dumps.......I did have a GREAT work weekend. I'm trying to become the inhouse floral designer for one of the biggest event decorators in the city. We did a huge weddings together this weekend and it was beautiful!!! I supervised the floral, hired staff, ordered flowers, designed and then designed some more, it was a looooooong week. Saturday was the longest day. Got to the venue at 9am. Ended up staying to help the decorator change over the escort card table to the candy bar table. She took me for dinner as we could begin striking the ballroom at 10pm as the dancing was in another room. I got home at 3:30am. I missed H tons throughout the day. He would normally be there. Bring food or coffee. The boys were alone all night. I had to call them to order a pizza. Felt like the worst mom.....but I had to work.

Yesterday my cousin, she lives 3 hours away, called. Her H had a mlc 3 years ago and they divorced 1 year ago. Nasty stuff between the two of them. Anyway, last year we all went up to her new place to set up her stuff. She's just moved again and couldn't figure out her stereo and ended up messaging H to walk her through it. She's VERY angry at him for doing this but she's also sad as she understands how awful this all is. Anyway they tried doing the set up via text and he asked if he could call her and they ended up on the phone. He asked why her boy friend didn't do it and she said they had broken up a few months back. Explained a bit and he said "yeah, he's not very nice". Really, H?? You're going to judge another man?! Anyway, he asked her why she moved and she said because not enough space for her three kids, blah, blah, blah and she said "what about you?" She said his attitude changed. He said he had found a place on the shore. They talked about the stereo again. She said she needed it done as she wanted to unpack and needed music to help with motivation and he agreed saying he understood as all he has to listen to his music on is his tv (or some thing. She couldn't remember exactly what he said). He said once things were settled it would be better for him. She said that it's hard. It takes a long, long time to find a new normal and it's still hard. He then said he really didn't want to talk to her about it as she is my cousin. The call ended soon after because her girlfriend came over.

That's all I have right now. How's everyone else been doing?