Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Feel like falling down

got back in town from s17 race today at noon. h was at house with d. she had stayed at his apt all weekend. he left as soon as I got back. Took more of his clothes from the closet here.

our temp orders just state everything remains status quo for now. told h we could discuss it this week. I will let him contact me about it. I will say nothing. I am not expecting him to drop it.

d calls h to say goodnight. goes to voicemail. he barely sees s17. this makes me so mad. and yet I still act nice to h.
we have to be at a school function this weekend. I bought a killer dress. want to show him what he is giving up.

Hi wbw

I wish that mlc was discussed as well. I had no idea how awful it was until this.

Glad you bought a new dress. You go girl!!!

sometimes life just [censored]!
sorry to be a downer. I do try so hard to be up and focus on positives.
just sometimes get overwhelmed at how much stuff there is to do. Can I cut back somewhere? not really. Know I need to stay in the present.

Had a great school event Sat night. I had my hair done. looked fabulous. H and I went separate. told h how nice he looked. we chatted some. just no touching. he came and found me when he was leaving.
feel weird that I can hug, check kiss other friends, but not h.

we have another school event to go to next weekend. not sure if we are going together or separate. I could catch a ride with friends.

we have had no convo about the temporary orders. I am not bringing it up.

I still look at h and my heart melts. I still want to be with him. Don't know what the status is the with ow. have not asked him.

even, after a year, still amazing to me what h is willing to give up- was life with me so bad that he could give up even one day with his kids? I am not perfect, but I know I am pretty good... I know this is h's deal.

got school today. Got plenty of errands for the week ahead.
Plan on looking fab once again for our event Sat. night

has there been a conversation about Thanksgiving going around?
What to do?? Invite or no?
Last year h came to eat only and then took boys to movie.
Was thinking maybe h doesn't get an invite this year. time to start a new normal...kids and I eat and go see a movie together. dessert later at a friends.

so wanted to text him tonight. h called d on my cell. I always let her answer. she will ask want to talk to mom? sometimes he will say yes, sometimes no. I want to ask when is this nonsense going to stop??

Somebody stop me. Want to text h. Want to tell him about my class today. What I'm studying. Want to ask h how he is feeling.
Know I am supposed to act as if I am moving on. Really miss h.
Need to be studying. Thank goodness for my classesvtonkeep me occupied

Willbwell, I would not bring any conversation about D or temporary order. You are right on that. I know it is always difficult around the holidays. Did he give any indication what he is doing for Thanksgiving? If not, I would wait for another week to decide whether to invite him or not. What are you doing for Thanksgiving? What do your kids want to do?

Will.

This is the stuff of heroes. You are a hero. Start believing it.

I know how hard this is. I know what it's like when every fiber of your being wants to reach out and make things right. We look at this situation and see how simple it appears to put things right. It's simple right? We just reach out, console, comfort, maybe slap them back into line a bit and it all falls back into place.

WRONG!!! Take it from me. You have to let go of the old marriage. Give it an honorable burial. Put it to rest gently in a loving way. Put it safely away in your heart.

Now, let's look to new. Imagine your H died. For now, he is gone. What does Thanksgiving look like?

You know, this never occurred to me before. But, what about journaling everything you would say to him. Those moment when you want to reach out? Journal those thoughts and feelings. Set them aside. Someday, if you H comes back to the world of the living, you can share your thoughts. He will know, then, how much you missed and loved him. Right now, though, he's a zombie.

Imagine trying to tell a zombie how much you love him. Would that make him NOT a zombie?

I'm sorry for your loss. I really am. But, this is the stuff of heroes and you ARE ONE!!

Much Love,

Heather