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W must be out of her mind. If she expects me to be pally with her OM then she must be crazy. Who in the right mind would do that?

I got a flat tire but I managed to sent D3 back home. I decided to changed it at W's only to find some missing tools. OM came out offering help but I ignored him. Childish, I know.

W called for help. Apparently I could do that because she signed me up for tire changing service. Anyway, I waited for the man to 'rescue' me at the front porch. I refused to go into the house while OM is in there. W invited me twice for dinner. So eager. But no thank you.

The drama came later. I told W I expect my kids to be with me when it is my time with them. She had to leave. Thats the arrangement. Somehow she made it about me being selfish again. She's so adept at arguing I find myself exasperated just to answer. I don't know why I keep on explaining myself. I realized I should have just said my piece.

Another week another drama.

I planned to take my 2 girls to ride the light rail since I thought it will be fun. I am very sure I can manage without a problem. W found out and made a big deal out of this, citing rain and lots of people. She wanted to come along and I relented and said ok. I waited for her and she took OM along. I was pissed.

I took the train and he followed like a dog he is. Finally, I told him to get a drink some where and just leave me and my girls alone. He said it was a public place and he's free to go wherever he likes and tried to accuse me of being careless with the girls. No case there. He's just aping W.

Finally, W tried to stop us from having a go at each other. And like a dog he obliged. I wasn't going to start a fight and he should know his place. My time my girls. He went away. We took the train home later.

The kids wanted their mom so W went with us to my car. As we drove home, D4 blurted out OM's name with daddy appended. That's a red flag. I told them don't say that and there's only 1 daddy. W immediately say not to blame her and tried to make it sound like god father in my native language. Nice try but I'm not buying.

At home after the girls had their meal, i told W it was inappropriate to allow the girls to call OM daddy. She saw nothing wrong and tried to guilt me. Again, she brings up my mom's fault and of course mine as well. Validated her but she was angry. I backed off and asked for hugs before I leave which D3 obliged but not D4. I kept on asking but she refuses. W said they knew who loved them more. I told her not use the kids this way. As I leave broken hearted because my D4 didn't want any hugs, D4 came running to me and called out for me. I held her so tight and told her not to hurt me anymore and there's only 1 papa. Never to forget that. W came out and just drive the knive in by saying if I had cared earlier we wouldn't end up like this. I ignored her. I only wanted a hug from my kids.

I called OM later. I wanted to tell him under no circumstances that he's allowed to use my kids in any way. Called but no reply. Like a good dog, he must have obliged W. Sent him a warning text and told him the level of disrespect he's shown.

Obviously, they are hiding this affair from everyone. This will never remain hidden. The truth will come out. Good luck to them.

And yes we are divorced.

The last text I sent
"Alright since u won't come. Under no circumstances u r allowed to use my kids. And certainly not name yourself daddy. There is only 1 DAD here. Are we clear?"

I don't know the proper db technique here but I feel like saying what needs to be said.


I was pouring my heart out to my cousin all morning. He was there when W confronted my family back in January. He was asked by my mom to never reveal anything. We talked and I allowed to my self to hope again for a possible R. Why do I do this to myself. Allowing pain and hurt once again later in the evening.

Planet, I am so sorry to hear about this going on with your W and OM. That is so awful people feel they can use their kids that way. She is out of her little mind.

I'm glad you put your foot down about the Daddy thing. She needs to respect you as their father, if not anything else. Be firm and polite about that always. The kids are too young to know any better and are obviously very confused, no thanks to what your W is feeding them. I hate when people do this to their kids!

Stay strong planet. wishing you the best in this situation.

Thanks Pud.

I have delayed putting my foot down for so long in my situation. I have made so many mistakes and I own them. I even gave her the benefit of the doubt very early on. I trust her to do the right thing.

I gave her everything and now I have only my kids that I adore so much. I have nothing to offer her. She have fallen for another and have only hatred towards me.

She asked for divorce so fast and I came in here a little too late.

Will there be a turn around? I'm don't want to hope too much because it will just hurt me.

I can't sleep.

I feel that I have opened the bird cage and the bird flew so far away, it won't return to its cage.

The punishment I gave D4 last week were used against me. I specifically remembered W said that we should try leaving D4 by herself if she misbehaves in the past. Now, I dared to try it, she said it was cruel and saw me as a bad father.

We took our kids to ride the light rail in the past. Now I dared to do it alone, she's citing many reasons to say I couldn't manage. Worse still, string OM along.

Blaming everything on me to hide her own guilt. Still the stuborn W as I know her.

I have been fighting myself the whole night. There are just so many things I want to say to W. Wanting to convince her that she's going the wrong way.

That couldn't happen. She will not listen to me. Doing it will not change anything but only to serve my needs.

Why does she have to meddle into my affairs. I have kept quiet about hers.

You seem to have the right frame of mind you just need to apply it then move on and think about yourself and not her whys.

Planet - did she cross a boundary by meddling in your affairs? If so, perhaps it is appropriate to tell her so?

Luke

I just find it frustrating talking to her. She just twist and turns everything I say. Arguing just for the sake of it. She have to be right. Second guessing me all the time.

But what I find odd is that she usually meets my request. I don't know why she just have to go through that stupid process of hers.