You can move on with your life. You've already started by taking that new position. Just because you're moving on, doesn't mean you have to close the door on ever reconciling with your H. It's all part of DBing and GALing. Working on yourself is moving on, moving out of your H's shadow, learning that you can survive without him. It doesn't mean that you want to survive without him, just that you can.
IMO, you did well apologizing about the photos. My H told me that all he wants with my son's school photos is to borrow the one I order for myself so he can scan it into his computer and he asked that I order one for MIL, which I was planning to do anyway. I probably would have reacted the same way if he asked me to order one for OW.
It is really hard when their OW is a bigger part of their life than you are. I had to sit back tonight and let my H's OW sit in the car outside my house while he picked up all his tools.
Now, turn your focus back onto yourself and your boys. Let your H get and do whatever it is he's doing. He's got to figure these things out for himself. While he's doing that, you concentrate on improving yourself for you.
I'm sure someone else will be along with some advice for you as well. In the meantime, forget (as hard as it is) about your H for now. Do you have the boys this weekend? Make some plans with them. It's Halloween soon - do they have costumes, what about going to a farm to pick out a pumpkin. Fall colours are out there - find somewhere with loads of trees to walk and kick leaves.
You can do this K , and you're not alone. We're here for you.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Thank you NQ and I hear you, my boys are going to be over at my MIL this weekend because their dad wants them this weekend but since he will be working at one of his side jobs this Saturday; MIL and I and couple of MIL's friends are taking my boys and maybe one or two other little boys to a haunted corn field maze this Saturday night. And my boys dont know that we are going there yet; I know for sure my 9yr old will be very mad because he doesn't like scary places. So I hope he doesn't get to mad at me.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
My 13yr old doesn't like scary places either. I'd love to take him on the haunted walk tour they do in the city near us, especially at this time of year. We did one in Ottawa last summer when we were there on vacation. He went with us although he wasn't really happy about it and spent most of the walk clinging to my hand. The only way I'd get him to do the one near here is if I didn't tell him where we were going - hmmm, now there's an idea LOL
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Starting tonight I'm on vacation I hope it goes slow so I can just vegetate. I am planning to get my hair done with a cut and maybe colored. Not sure how short I should go and what color or should i just get highlights put in.right now my hair is a little passed my shoulders. My MIL said that I should just trim my hair and put in highlights only not to go all out like how I dreamed of. I had a dream last night that I had my hair cut like miley Cyrus. And MIL said no way; that H likes long hair not short hair but I'm doing this for me not for him. I'm so done with H. I really don't care what he likes or don't like he left our family and as of right now he is not coming back to our family. Anyway I know he will never come back to us. So I'm just going to move on and try my hardest to start saving all my pennies so that I can start making plans to file the paper work I can't go on like this anymore where he gets my hopes up then he turns around and cut it down. I'm so tired of these emotional games he keeps playing with me. I know I should give it more time since its only been 3 monthes since he moved out. I just want to be happy again.this is how I feel right now at this moment. Who knows I may end up changing my mind million of times like I have been doing since this whole thing started. Well I should stop here and spend some time with my boys tonight.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
I totally understand how much this [censored]. I have been separated for three months too although it seems like a lifetime. I spent weeks going back and forty between wanting to fight for the marriage or just filling for divorce to just stop the pain. I am finally beginning to realize that filing for divorce will not end the pain. So I have stopped the internal battle over whether I should file. I told myself that I will not think about filing until after the holidays. I just could not take my emotions switching back and forth. I m ow that H could file but I can't control that.
Try and focus on the boys and yourself. You will be happy again regardless of the outcome. Go out and get an awesome haircut that you will love. There is nothing more attractive that a confident and happy woman. I changed my hair, changed how I did my makeup and it made me feel better. I did not even care that H did not comment on it because I felt awesome.
, and you're not alone. We're here for you.