Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Confused about Detaching Part 2

Oh Wow.

Angela, take some deep breaths. It's going to be ok.

You need some time to digest all this without H around. Just slow down and try to collect yourself.

Heather

Thanks, Heather. I am freaking out (on the inside)...on the outside, I'm strangely numb.

I feel so stupid. So used. Why do I keep wanting to stay with a man who doesn't love me and who is in love with someone else? It's crazy.

I know the feeling. It's surreal. And, it will pass. YOu WILL feel ok again, I promise.

It's not crazy and you're not stupid. You trusted someone you love, that's not stupid.

He's not in right in the head right now. He's looking for a high. That's all she is. She is a way to avoid feelings.

Is there anyone you can call to sit with you?

No. Family/friends all in other towns. I'm ok.

I'm trying to put my four kiddos to bed...so I'm calm around them.

I just didn't have anywhere else to go to vent. I don't want my family or his to know about this just yet. I've been DEFENDING him to all of them.

Angela, you're not stupid. You've spent many years with this man and just because he's saying/doing these crazy things doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

I know it's tough, but try to calm down. Don't do anything rash.

It is possible to move on from something like this and make your marriage work. It's not easy, but most things worth having aren't.

Just keep posting here. Everyone here is so supportive and we know what you're going through.

Thank you, Heather and sweetbabyred.

I am so shattered right now. Thankfully, I've been DBing for a few months so I'm not feeling the need to do anything rash...I'm just so hurt...and don't know where to go from here.

Come back and vent if you need to. I haven't been able to sleep lately. I will probably be awake.

I think it's smart to keep it on the down low with family, but don't do that if it means you will lose support you need right now. You need some friends/family to lean on right now. You just learned a big truth.

The truth, believe it or not, will truly set you free. But, I know it doesn't feel like it right now.

What do I say to him? He's still texting me from work.

Specifically, he keeps saying he thinks that I won't let him stay. Is this him trying to guilt me? Do I reassure or go black????

Angela,

All you have to do right now is put the kids to bed. That's it. Take one thing at a time. Get them in bed. Then, tackle the next thing.