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I'm glad you turned the laptops over to a computer tech. Even though things appear to be deleted, in many instances, they are not gone forever. I had something very similar happen to me and what it boiled down to was he was trying to erase the cookies so that I couldn't see where he had been. What my computer tech found shocked the h@ll out of me and from that day onward, I'd looked at my xh with a different vision.

I'm sorry Callaghan.

It stinks and none of it seems fair. I'm glad you got the computers to the tech guy.

They don't think about the feelings of others. They just don't. It's all about them. Your H is only thinking about himself right now and how to protect himself. Those photos were probably the last thing on his mind.

Maybe, once they are retrieved, download the photos onto a disk and keep ore of the laptops away from your H.

This may be the most challenging time in your life. If you read my situation, you will see that I often give into the impulses and react to my H. Don't do what I do.

Look what you did today. You handled it!! YOu got the computer's to a tech and you vented here.

MLC-ers seem to throw us little surprise parties here and there, full of fun things to deal with!! You will learn to pick yourself up, take care of business and get on with living your life.

Take good care of yourself and wait to see what the techs say. Don't blow or make any decisions. Give yourself some time to calm down.

Much Love,

Heather

I've asked or everything back so I can use it for our potential divorce.

Brace yourself for what you might see. You may want to have a friend or someone you really trust to be there when you look at the stuff retrieved.

It may be painful and shocking. Seek support, you don't have to handle it alone.

Heather

I know. I'm not looking forward to the discovery.

I just woke to bailiffs trying to seize my car. I'm really really not coping with all this. How can someone be so cruel?

Please please please someone tell me this is all part of his MLC. He's also on OM#2. A least this one is 24. 4 weeks separated and he's on his second little girl. Omg how can I live through this hell any longer? I'm beyond humiliated.

Help me detach from this behaviour. I asked him politely to leave last night but he's supposed to be coming tonight to watch me sing at a huge concert, I've not even practiced the songs. I'm not sure i can do this.

Calm down and breathe! You can't do anything if you are upset. Why was the bailiff trying to seize your car? Did you not make a payment or is your h's name on it?

I hate to say this, but yes, some of his behavior is mlc related. They get mean and nasty and retaliate when they think that we are screwing them over, trying to control and/or manipulate them. Generally, it gets worse before it gets better.

Check your finances and make sure you have money and yes, the bills are paid. Make sure you are protected legally. It's very important that you not look at him as the pre-crisis man because he's not that way now. He's on a mission to destroy everything that gets in his path that is blocking his way to the door of happiness.

Hang in there.

No he's not paying the bills and they're in joint names. I've managed to save my car, for now. It's easy to look at the finances, there aren't any! I was a SAHM and he's not putting enough money in the joint account to cover everything. I've been living on nothing for weeks.

I'm waiting for benefits to come through.

I'm glad you saved your car. Check on the status of your benefits to see where you are in the system.

Thanks job

My H came to the concert and followed us home (as he called it) to collect a few bits. He stayed for 2 hours chatting. He was so emotional but adamant he is doing the right thing "for all our futures". He seems to hate himself, is confused about everything and seemed even more depressed. He did make plans for us to attend a big event together in March 2014, which I found odd, but just said "that sounds nice".

He had his wedding ring on again but I suspect he only puts it on the days he's here. At least he's considering the children's wishes, as they wanted him to keep it on.

He cried, said he was writing letters to everyone he'd hurt. I'm not looking forward to that. I urged him to consider IC, telling him how much I feel it's helped me. He's not taking his meds every day, which can't be helping.

I know it's not my concern but that will take time.

I am finding it easier to deal with him. Whatever he does stings but it doesn't last as long as it used to. Over time I hope the initial string lessens too, or maybe he'll stop hurting me soon......wishful thinking.

I do see small improvements but can't help but feel like its only him wanting to be friends.