Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Rolling in the deep...

It is such a relief to finally feel like you are not the crazy one.

Do whatever you can to support your D and your STBX relationship no matter how wacko he is, it is better for the kids.

I thought you handled the sitch well - there is no perfect way to defuse a 6 yr old when they are melting down.

Thanks BK

I hope things are going well with you. I'm just living the dream, as you can tell.

Yes I learned long ago with D to diffuse the situation otherwise it becomes uncontrollable. I don't know if D is manipulating H or if she's angry and frustrated with him or a little bit of both. I'm not saying he should cater to her or give into her but she does not play those games with me. If I sense it's going bad I nip it in the bud. She knows my boundaries. H has none.

Anyway it's over. He looks like an idiot. That's what he is mad about. And then I show up and she's okay. Enough said.

Good day today with the kids. Stayed home today with them. S marched in his first parade with the band. So proud of him. Today was homecoming and an active day for all of us. H called at noon and asked where the parade route was and I said I wasn't positive but I thought it was the same route as the Christmas parade. He said he would look it up. He called 5 minutes later and told me the route. At the parade I didn't see him until after it was over and D wanted to see him but by the time I got around to the other side of the street, he was gone. Odd. I checked my phone when I got back to the car and noticed he had called before the parade started but I didn't hear it bark. Lol!

He called two other times after that. He called to ask if I was coming back to the house after the parade and I said no, I had errands to run. He said okay and hung up. He called not five minutes later and I didn't hear it. He left a message that I couldn't understand. I called but no answer. He called again later that night to talk to D and asked to talk to me and asked to have S call him when he got home. I said it might not be until late and he said he didn't care. Acting weird but whatever.

Hoping the rest of the weekend goes well too.

WH

So I figured out what the weirdness was about. H just called and asked if he could bring OW to D'd soccer game today. Apparently D has been wanting OW to come and OW will be going in for back surgery and this is her last opportunity. (insert violins here). H asked if I wanted to be introduced to her. I said why not? Why put off the inevitable, right?

Need support here guys. Hopefully I can handle this situation with grace and calmness. He told me he wasn't doing this to take a stab at me, but I'm not so sure. Maybe he thinks we can all be great friends?

Ey yi yi!
WH

WH,
Well, if she should show up, smile and be courteous and then find a seat somewhere they won't be sitting. Oh, yeah, your h is definitely hoping that all of you can be friends. Just like a bunch of school friends all huddled together.

Good luck!

If anyone can handle this, it's you.

You are a tough cookie and she ain't got nothing on you.

Think Jackie Kennedy at the Birthday for Jack when Marilyn M sang. Classy and full of grace. And, She had to endure that with Marilyn!!! Can you imagine?

You can do this!!!

You really can.

Much Love,

Heather

Ha! I'm not exactly Jackie Kennedy lol! And OW sure as heck ain't Marilyn Monroe!!

Apparently H had this planned because when I told S about it he said he already knew about it. Why do I feel like I'm being set up?

My attorney emailed me to tell me the hearing to "quash subpoena" and to "compel discovery" has been rescheduled. That will tick off H. But that our revised motion for Denovo has been denied because it wasn't filed in 20 days. I'm a bit torked off about this. My attorney was out of the country And I don't know if that's why or what? I asked what now and the attorney said he feels his response was within the appropriate time. So now do we argue with the judge assigned to our case and risk ticking him off?? I feel like the world is against me right now. I need to shake it off.

WH

WH,
Let your attorney worry about the Denovo.

Be sure to document your little meeting w/the ow. Whatever you do, do not get into any disagreements w/your h in front of her. You never know what he's told her and I would bet he's setting you up so that he can have her as a witness.

Just smile and be your beautiful self no matter what they say or do. Be sure to sit somewhere else and not w/them.

Well that was interesting.

She is nothing of what I imagined. Just an ordinary woman who is a bit on the plump side and who has a personality of a dish pan. She walks with a cane and H assisted her across the field. Ugh. I asked S if she always uses a cane and he said no, sometimes she has crutches. Even better.

When we were introduced it was like two strange dogs meeting. Not comfortable for sure. She had her engagement ring on too. She wore tight fitting clothes that clung to her. I know I am probably sounding catty but it's my observation so there.

She is not very animated and kind of mechanical in her conversations. I am really outgoing and boisterous. She is the exact opposite of me.

I don't see what the charm is. I didn't find her to be warm and kind. Rather coolish and tending to steer the conversations toward her. She talked to another soccer mom and again turned it into all about her.

This same mom pulled me aside and asked me who she was. I told her. She just looked at me and said oh. She said she had been through a divorce so she understood. She said if this woman is his fiancée then he must have had an affair or something? I said yes. She just kept saying how sorry she was. I saw all the moms look at him and her as they walked up and then glanced over at me as to see my expression. I just smiled. They all looked back at him and glared. They knew. So H and OW successfully made jacka$$e$ of themselves.

I said hi to her and exchanged a few pleasantries. No scene was made and I certainly did not go out of my way to gush over her. H was putting on quite the act though.

Fruit and fruit tart.

WH

WH,
Just as I suspected. She sounds a lot like the woman my h hooked up with. Nothing special and yes, the exact opposite of what you are. He wanted to be a hero or a "white knight" rescuing her because she apparently has health issues. He wants her to look up to him and adore him. You stand up for yourself and I bet nutty buddy's ow let's him make all of the decisions for right now.

Don't ever think she's better than you because she's not. She was just something different and he's Mr. Super Hero Nutty Buddy to her. Nothing more.

Well the moms will certainly have a lot to discuss tonight and I'm sure the ow was so happy to be out in the public w/your h. Unfortunately, they didn't get the reaction they wanted from you. LOL! Nice work.

BTW, I think he one stupid man to parade her around and you aren't even divorced, much less separated. I agree that they have certainly made @sses of themselves today. LOL! He may try to bait you into an argument about her being there...don't buy into it. Just say "H, you got yourself a real good one" and leave it at that.

Hang in there.

Thanks Snodderly.

I still wonder what he is up to. After we got home D asked me "so mommy, so you like OW now?" and I just said no. Lol! I am wondering if that has something to do with it?

Oh well. They are perfect for each other. Two ridiculous people who are using each other for one thing or another. I am so moving on to bigger and better things.

WH