At some point, you will realize that you have done too much for someone, and that the only next possible step to do is to stop.
Leave them alone. Walk away. It not that you're giving up, and it's not that you shouldn't try. It's just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation.
What is truly yours will eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.
Since all the craziness this past weekend, I started Monday with zero communication. I responded to one text W sent asking about insurance with a single sentence.
W texted me a bit ago asking if I had picked up S5. I replied, "I have him."
She then said, "If you still want to file a stay, you can have your attorney do that. But if not, that's fine too."
Back story: I had asked her for this so we'd have some time to clear our heads and not make an emotional decision, and she has refused adamantly. A "stay" basically pauses a divorce case for a certain period of time. Oddly enough, my attorney was going to ask anyway, because he wanted to get a clear no.
So I don't know what to say. I sort of want to know why. It could be she's having second thoughts or it could be she doesn't want to spend legal fees, dunno. Or I could just say "ok".
I don't know. Back when I originally asked for it, I think I was in that desperate do-anything-to-stop-the-divorce mode. I just did remember that she put down a retainer so doing a stay won't really save her any money.
Right now, it almost makes me tired. Unless she is like, "I'm done with divorce, and ready to work on the marriage", I almost don't want to mess with it.
Just reply and say I'm busy right now, I'll think it about it later when I have some time.
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
It sounds to me like she wants to know if she still has Jon wrapped around her finger.
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
That is a really tough call Jon. I think that NTX gave you a great response above. Seems to me that your w is kinda dangling a carrot to see if you bite.
I honestly don't know what I would do.
Good luck!
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
She then said, "If you still want to file a stay, you can have your attorney do that. But if not, that's fine too."
It appears to me that she is still ambivalent about BOTH the M and D. So she's passing on the "hot potato" to you so she doesn't have to deal with this herself. Interesting.
my .01