I messaged him. How do I not?? He's been an a$$hole the last 6 months but during our 20 years every time I was in hospital he was always very good to me.
"Hi. S18 told me you're getting your gallbladder out. You ok? You need anything? Would you like some brood (Italian word for chicken soup). I understand if you don't feel it appropriate for me to come"
I'm really upset. Really torn
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
WR, You did the right thing in texting. You would check on a friend in the hospital. Just because your h is acting like a butt right now, doesn't mean that you don't care.
I wouldn't go there unless he requests your presence. For now, wait to see if he texts you. Will your son be going there to visit w/him?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
S18 is at work so I'm waiting for him to get off to tell me his plans.
I know I have to sit here and wait and it goes against every cell in my body In 20 years he's never needed surgery, it's been me or once s14, and now when he is going through this it has to happen.
It's going to sound funny but the women in my family "dream" and I've dreamt H all week, my sister just told she also dreamt him once last week, I thought it was because we have a court date set but now I know it was because of this. Crazy sounding, I know, but us Italians are dreamers.
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
WR, Nope, dreamers are not crazy. In my family, we have premonitions. My mother and I both have this "gift".
Your h is going to be fine, just a bit sore for a while. I'm sure your S18 will go to see him either in the hospital or at home. They are sending them home very quickly for this surgery, so maybe he'll be home in the next day or so...time will tell.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Well, considering, we don't know where he lives that may be hard but he may end up staying with his sister. He's in over night then releasing him tomorrow apparently.
It's a strange and uncomfortable feeling being on the outside of this
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
Hopefully he will stay w/his sister for a few days. Recovery for this type of surgery is fairly quick, if he follows the doctor's orders, he should be okay.
I understand how you feel being on the outside, but that's how it is when they have run away. Your son may be the key to getting info on his well being. That should help a bit, but I wouldn't be too quick in trying to help him. If he needs your help, he'll let you know. You've offered and that's all you can do for now.
Don't worry...he's in good hands.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I've had my gallbladder out too. I know he'll be fine but this is thanksgiving weekend and now this. Just wasn't expecting that curve ball.
I guess this is what happens after you healthy, homemade, food for 20 years and start eating crap and drinking a lot more beer.
Wonder if this will allow him to see hw lonely his life really is?
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
H responded. "I will be ok but thank you for the offer"
I said "Ok. I hope you feel better soon and are out soon take care"
S18 came home from work and was petty pissed off that it took his aunt 22 hours to call him to tell him about his dad. Said that he guesses were not high enough on the call list.
Now that I know what's happening I hope I can sleep without dreaming of him tonight. Get a full nights sleep
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
It is strange when something happens in their lives and they do not choose to tell us. Mine decided to buy an new to him vehicle and move apartments. He eventually told me but I have no idea how long after the fact. It was at that point that my detachment began in earnest.
I have been following your financial woes and I am very sorry. I cannot imagine how much more stress that puts on an already stressful situation. I worked in a family law office for a wonderful woman lawyer she said that although she would get everything that you were entitled to, her best advice was to try to become self-sufficient as all too often the other spouse would find ways not to meet those obligations. Obviously those things take time but it is very good advice.
Leave your H to spin and take care of you. Your S18 is an adult now, he can handle the relationship with his father as he sees fit. He will talk to you when he is ready.
