Great! H and I are doing really well, squeezing in time together whenever we can and keeping up with each other on how we are feeling.
I did have a big eye opener a few weeks ago because I was feeling distant from h - not as much holding me while watching tv, he was staying up when I went to bed, in his own world when he is home (all things that were problems years ago)but I didn't bring it up, I kept in and let myself get frustrated. I started imagining that he wasn't happy, that this was how things would be, etc. One night we had a ridiculous argument about something little and he said to me "I can't believe this really bothers you that much". I said "It doesn't, it isn't about that, it's about not holding me, coming to bed with me, etc.". It wasn't until that moment that I even realized why I was feeling so irritated and that I was getting mad at him over things that were irrelevant. I told him that and said I should have just told him how I was feeling. He apologized (ha, he never used to do that!!), asked me to just let him know in the future and things have been back on track.
We work much better as a team than we did in our previous M and we usually communicate much better. I am so grateful that we are together and I am truly happy!
Such a big step, lth! Now to have the trust in yourself and your needs to be able to talk about it before it gets to the argument stage.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
LTH, I always look for your words of wisdom on others' threads, and have learned so much from you. Glad I finally found your thread so I could stop in and let you know what an inspiration you are. Great to hear how well you are doing!
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
