2old, thanks for posting that quote about detaching. I’ve read so many times before on this board, that the turning point in a lot of sitches is when LBS truly gives ups and starts moving on with his/her life.
Lefty, I’ve been catching up on your sitch. You are getting lots of good advice here.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
I think I am living the whole "LBS has truly moved on." I think I am there.
Having said that, yes, H is starting to show interest in who I am going out with, who I am texting, where I am going, etc. I think he's truly concerned that I am gone (and that remains to be seen).
SO, YES, detaching and moving on with your life is essential--no matter what happens!
You have to save yourself BEFORE you can save your M!!!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Hey all, there's a lot of good replies here and a lot of stuff to chew on. I owe a lot of you replies, but it'll have to be another day—I had a pretty heavy day in therapy and I just need some "down" time. I'm going down to my old college town tomorrow, but I'll be back either tomorrow night or Saturday. My gratitude and best wishes to all of you! <3
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Hey guys. I've been taken a little sabbatical. I had a great time down in my college town and the STBX and D haven't been weighing as hard on my mind as heavy as before. Been feeling so good that I haven't even wanted to hear the word "divorce," so I've been doing my own thing. I really almost feel like I've turned a corner and been able to drop the rope. I hope so.
Been buying a lot of a new clothes lately (and shoes) and enjoying myself. I'm down to 174-point-something this morning (nearly at my goal of 160)! Going camping next weekend with a bunch of old friends... Really looking forward to it. Fall is definitely on its way here.
174???? That was real fast. I thought you were slowing down.
Remember; victory is when you are in Such a good place that you are really able to say " life will be pretty darn ok whichever path I choose to take because I'm strong and have not survived- but thrived"
You can make the decision.
I'm proud of you - you have come a hell of a long way friend
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Okay so I got two texts from the STBX right before my camping trip yesterday. (It was just an overnight thing, had a great time.) I didn't reply then but replying now:
Originally Posted By: STBX
I dropped the Restraining Order only to allow us to communicate regarding the settlement of our dissolution outside of court. [her paralegal] has contacted [my lawyer] this week to try to set up a meeting of which he has refused. he states this can sit on his desk until i pay you at least [$x]. im on full disability now not working and have 0 money now [left]. You seem to be communicating with me as to lighting a candle in church etc. I need to know where you are at regarding the settlement of this dissolution. What will it take to get this reasonably settled? Please let's discuss this asap. Thank you.
then an hour later...
Quote:
[lefty] you told me the only reason you hired an attorney was because of the restraining order. It's gone now. Can we please just settle this like civilized mature adults between us? I could hire an attorney too but that will only take away precious funds away from whatever money it is that you apparently want from me? I am really confused about what's going on here.
How should I reply? I have not talked to my L since our last court date and my settlement offer has not changed. Need your help!
