To close this out, my point is her email today was not necessary unless she is as I stated earlier, Preparing to file since her residency requirement will be met on 10/01. There can be no other reason to reach out since she hardly ever does. It is obvious what that email means and I was just reaching out here in DB....
I get that...
She could want your address for a thousand things. Who knows what or why....
Just like the old adage...keep your friends close, and your enemies even closer ???
May be...
I just don't want to see you get caught up in what if, or what could be. It is just not worth it either way. And the more time that you spend wondering, is time that you waste that you could be using for yourself...
Ya know..
She COULD be using that for all of the reasons that you mention, that much is true...
Then again....
Maybe she just wants to send you a Gorilla-Gram ???
"I just don't want to see you get caught up in what if, or what could be. It is just not worth it either way. And the more time that you spend wondering, is time that you waste that you could be using for yourself..."
Thanks Mach, I really am in a good frame of mind as I decided a few weeks ago to swim not sink. This unexpected contact from her was a curveball though. Doens't take a rocket scientist to figure out what "If you have any plans of moving, could you please keep me posted and send me your new address etc." means. Fairly Cut and dry...I did get an invitation from a friend in Australia to visit them, Hmmmmm.....
Lot of talk regarding mindreading and wondering what her agenda is so not gonna rehash that...
My question is: What are YOU doing to move forward? What are your short term goals? And just because I'm weird I'm only interested in goals that don't have anything to do with W.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
I dont know Sandi. Even is she doesn't speak I will be getting closure so I guess it doesn't really matter.
None of us ever get closure from our WAS, we can only get closure from ourselves. Believe me, I've tried getting answers from my W in a million different ways, LOL! That was before DB'ing (well, if I'm honest probably a little after too) but it really is true that you just can't believe anything they say. Not because they are lying, but because they are confused and in turmoil. They're totally giving themselves over to emotion. Logic and reason are sunning on a beach somewhere while emotional confusion grips the wheel and turmoil operates the throttle and brake. They're driving your W down the road of life like a drunk that's been on an all-night bender. The car is careening from one side of the road to the other with wildly varying speeds. Sometimes it'll just reverse direction and drive the wrong way for a while. Of course you want to yank the driver out and get answers, but all you get is a bewildered look and some slurred speech about how the pope needs his pajamas. The fog may clear some day and if/ when it does, she'll likely be just as confused about her actions as you are.
2old, you mentioned that it was cut and dried. Think back to the last emails you've exchanged, all positive! You sent her a HB email, she sent one back saying thanks, you sent her one back saying glad you liked it have a nice weekend and then she sent one back saying if you change your address can you let me know. Why all of a sudden is that being negative and wanting a D? Like someone said on here there could be a million and one reasons why she wants your change of address. You also grumbled that you've had n/c from her and you've been feeling more positive. Who's fault is that? You're the one that initiated the contact this time round by wishing her a HB. My H said he wants a D in June and I'm still waiting for a letter from his solicitor, lol. I don't know the laws over there, but over here you can refuse to D them if you don't want to. That's what I'm going to do anyway and who's going to be wasting their money? Not me hehehe :)< or should that be an evil laugh
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Doens't take a rocket scientist to figure out what "If you have any plans of moving, could you please keep me posted and send me your new address etc." means.
How long have you worked on Rockets ???
Or I guess...NOT worked on Rockets ???
: )
Stop thinking small, and start thinking larger.
It is like this one event is going to define your entire existence. And that is twice that I have read about you swimming rather than sinking.
What are your goals ???
What are your plans ???
I would think that instead of merely sinking....or merely swimming...
You should join us on our threads(me, Milehigh or notquitting), we're always talking about what we're up to - mainly decluttering bookcases, lol.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
None of us ever get closure from our WAS, we can only get closure from ourselves. Believe me, I've tried getting answers from my W in a million different ways, LOL! That was before DB'ing (well, if I'm honest probably a little after too) but it really is true that you just can't believe anything they say. Not because they are lying, but because they are confused and in turmoil. They're totally giving themselves over to emotion. Logic and reason are sunning on a beach somewhere while emotional confusion grips the wheel and turmoil operates the throttle and brake. They're driving your W down the road of life like a drunk that's been on an all-night bender. The car is careening from one side of the road to the other with wildly varying speeds. Sometimes it'll just reverse direction and drive the wrong way for a while. Of course you want to yank the driver out and get answers, but all you get is a bewildered look and some slurred speech about how the pope needs his pajamas. The fog may clear some day and if/ when it does, she'll likely be just as confused about her actions as you are.
This the most humorous and ACCURATE description I have heard yet! I must've laughed and reread that for 5 minutes!!! LOL!
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
hehehe :)< or should that be an evil laugh