i took two days off work as pescribed by nurse Gineen. just did my own thing. i an 12 miles in 2 days. that was nice. for some reason i think best when i run. and i dont even think. its like a snow globe for me.. im like a snow globe all shook up.. then as i run, everything starts to settle down. by the end of my run, i feel like a snow globe that is just sitting on a shelf covered in dust. i dont know if that makes sense..
i still have a weird feeling about it. i am not one to be afraid. i know i will still do what i do because i am good at it. its just a gnawing feeling that i could be next. went in today to fill out my timecard to find out that out that one of our guys got his nose broken yesterday. pulling wire and the pipe ripped off the wall and smoked him in the face. i dont know what is going on, but these accidents need to stop. i truly believe the months of 60-80 hr weeks are catching up to us.
i find myself thinking about things that i would like to do. things i would like to see. wondering if this is what i want to do with my life. i cant spend to much time in my head thinking about the future though. either way, sometimes its just fun to dream. there are things that i have never done and want to. not a bucket list or anything, but just things that i should be able to do if i want.
re opened my online dating profile. what a let down..lol same crazy women as before. same crazy messages. makes me realize even more the things i want. i want a normal down to earth woman. one who cares for her man, and wants the same in return. none of these "im so great..im a princess.. men need to bow down to me.." women. hockey fan is a must i realize. someone who has been through he11 and learned from it or at least be able to understand. family oriented. not afraid to try something new. okay.. so pretty much me but a female..lol maybe i will find "her", until then im going to do what Wii does and date myself. lol
thank you all. today was a good day. raining this morning when we stood outside for an hour before D's soccer game for pictures. none of her team showed up until the game. she was cold and wet. as soon as the whistle blew, she was running her little butt off doing her best. proud dad moment number one. got home and my son doesnt have any pants here since he grew and all the new pants i bought him i sent to his mom's because she doesnt have any for him. now she does. so i told him, liam.. we are going to get you some pants. he said dad.. you dont need to. it's your birthday. buy something for you. i'll be fine. proud dad moment number 2. so we went and got him some pants and came home. i started getting the ribs and potatoes ready. almost done and liam and makayla came into the kitchen. they made me birthday cards. liam said dad since i dont have any money we made these for you. i could have cried. i told them that this means more to me then any store bought gift ever could. proud dad moment 3. my friend and his wife came over. she brought me a cake. my first cake in 19 years. that meant so much. almost started the house on fire! lol.. then the best part.. my kids begging to go to the hockey game! proud dad moment 4. it was an inter team scrimmage. still so much fun. the atmosphere. the smell of the ice. the sound of skates on the ice. the sound of sticks hitting pucks and bodies slamming into glass. my favorite place in the whole world is the hockey rink. thats where i feel at home. the look on my kid's faces when they saw their favorite player! i had a blast! clay
