Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Questions without answers...I'm tired of asking.

Not an excuse at all, or putting it in a better light...

Her call came in from a number neither one of us recognized, and he was completely thrown. He is a very slow thinker and doesn't have quick comebacks. But, I was standing right there, I think he paused enough to be able to collect himself and say, don't call me.

He didn't want to. For whatever reasons, she's a POS, he takes caution in how he speaks to her, there is a sort of value there for him.

Where was that value when he spoke to me the way he did...I don't usually bring up the past, but it seems to be rushing in my thoughts these days.

Careful where you direct your anger. You have every right to it, but I've made the mistake of pushing H away because of my anger, legit or not, and the I question my actions later. Think before you talk. Just my .02

oh Dawn, I agree, "bad timing" was one of THE worst things H could have said to get the Alkie POS off the phone. I'm sorry Dawn. It really sounded as if he was serious about trying to cut away from her and his old replay pals, but it sounds bad that H is hiding his cell phone again. What does he have to say for himself now?Will you impose a new deadline?

Will this last forever? IDK, I don't have forever, I barely have the strength this weekend to not shove him out the door. Thinking here, more like bitting my tongue.

Last night was a twist of words that I didn't fall for so he resorted to anger.This time I put a stop to it all quickly, and said you don't get to deflect by using anger against me, your words don't hurt me anymore.

With that came retraction, softer speech, more confusion on his part and less a$$whole coming out. Funny how " I don't think of you" turned into " I don't think of deceiving you with purpose".

Tomorrow I am seeing my parents for the first time since Nov. They were sick and angry about his MLC enough to back away from all of us, thanks guys.

They too will not be given the opportunity to twist and dig innuendoes at me. What is it about people, some just have that need to make others feel bad.

I no longer give myself permission to be influenced by others who are not looking out for my best interest.

There is no new deadline....every day...every hour is a deadline for immediate evacuation from my life, and let the door hit on the way out, maybe it will knock some sense into you.

I think your H is trying to come out of the dark tunnel Dawn. Maybe this is just a setback, back slide. I hope for your sake, and for your H's sake too, because it sounds like you are next to done.

Hang in there Dawn, you can do this. You've been at this 5 years now, you are a strong beautiful worthy woman! And H knows it. So do your parents. Don't let him and the rest of your family put you down. Be your strong wonderful self.

My H and I are at our end. He has declared he will not change and I declared that we are done. He said he will not sign anything, he is not interested in a D. I said it is no longer about what he wants or will do or not do.

My journey with this is over. My journey forward will be hard and I may fail, but it has to be better than this. At least there is hope on the new path I'm choosing.

MLC has kicked my a$$ and it's time I cover my cheeks, push my way forward, and make this the past.

I can know longer live by putting my past in front of my future.

Dawn,
I'm sorry to hear that your h has declared he will not change. It's time to do something different and it needs to be for YOU. Dawn, whatever you decide to do, we are here to help your walk the rest of your journey.

Thank you Snodderly!

It's going to be hard to even move in the forward direction. It's all on me. H said he still won't leave me. Just let him do what he has to do!

Forget that! I'm done with the spiel. It makes my ears hurt these days. I'm GAL, but I can do better. I am still looking for a career change.

I don't even remember my life with him anymore. It's becoming to blurred!

hey hi dawn-

sorry i've been lost in space lately- i's a wacko show here. met h's aunt's body on fri and then - drove around a few days- total bs festival with my mom & her (non)recuperation (too slow for words - ) - and my insane sister(s) and their "business plans" for all this- true administrators that they are (what? hands on - actual grunt work- i don't think soooo)

SO- YIKES AND i'm sorry and glad at the same time. it's got to feel both bad and good- sounding more on the good side tho for you- the decision- the end of shilly shallying around and so on.

you sound good tho- about this all- i am sorry to hear tht he says he will not change. i think he will have a very rude awakening in store for him. Now that you can no longer wait on his "awakening" - i am sure that you are rite and your future will hold both bad and good - but overall knowing whatyou want and do not want is more in the good columjn than bad.

i do believe we all are capable of just about anything. you will prevail in the end = i'm sure yuou're well fortified for a bit of (maybe) hardhip after alllll the mlc insanityh? some days i think i can do anything- just because i could and am riding out this junk.once we're past being fogged out- discouraged to death and incapable of being surprised anyhmore in life- honestly, i'm thinking all of us may be surprised at what hearty characters we really are.

i hope it is not toooo hard on you and for you. you do really deserve quite alot more than what it's been for a long long time. me too for that matter. what i acdept at the moment and why- is all just my own "junk" . yuour decision and conviction are inspiring man.

do you have some specific plan about this? or merely a statement of new policy???

i'm still havingh my old "new" policy of f these jerks (family). its kind of pitiful- but judicious use of profanity really does help here. silly but true. talkin tough- it keeps me tough sometimes.

how did things go with your parents? i was thinking aboutyou-= this family stuff can make you nuts totally.

i got nothin otherwise. good to her your voice- are ya still visiting linda? i missed her before she left- will try an e-mail. hope she's havin fun - we can live vicariously

xxo the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step-

By the end of the day h was asking me to let him complete his journey. Saying he needs to finish all the steps and doing nothing and being home only stops the forward progress.

WTF? He's is in tune with what he's doing. The difference is me. I differ from others standing, I am not in love with him anymore. I don't love him anymore. I feel like that makes me different from other stories, whether there was reconiciation or not so many stilled loved their S thru the end.

He can have his progress and his steps in time. I will still need more than he can give me in a M.