Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Harder and Harder......Part three

I couldn't agree more! PS, between reading your threads, and the advice you give, you have helped me more that any IC, MC, friend or family member has.

Thank you!

Im embarrassed by my W current actions. I dedicated my life to her, have a beautiful D3.5 with her, and she is doing this now?

But at the same time I am alone.

My problem is I overthink everything and Im ashamed that people will think that if she left me to go with a refugee living off public assistance or a musician / associate professor at a local college..........how bad am I?

That is why im ashamed/ embarrassed

But it's not you. I know you know this, you just have to "know" this.

Beautiful daughter, great dad, looking the best you have in years, hold your head high.

I "Know" that you "Know" that I "Know" but it will still happen.

I wish I were a Victoria Secret model

........That would make a AWESOME song

PS, her actions, her consequences and shame.

You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. People who know you will understand that and people who dont, well, who cares what they think?

As long as you are happy with the person you have become and that you live your life authentically, then that's what matters.

The fact that you are a great dad, a good friend and a good person, matters.

Anything else, does not.

Agree with ruby and UR! It is HER issue, HER decisions, HER load to bear when all is said and done.

You have come so far, PS! Don't worry about what others will think...people will think what they want to think. And those who support you will know.

You are a wonderful person, a devoted dad and a new man!!!

A ruby has led me to the alt site. Ive left my head in the sand so long that I dont know what to do to make it pretty and add content- so im learning and one of these days itll actually be interesting.......

Ive actually gained weight over the weekend. Sooooo much good food and it rained all weekend so I was unable to do 90% of what I wanted. I was forced to slow down.

D3.5 kept asking me "what are we going to do now Daddy" and I didnt know and it didnt bother me. Yes I felt some guilt for blowing off a day but if I did it....I needed it.

What im working on now is I keep playing out an interaction with my wife in my head where she again, blames me for everything....only this time I dont hold back and I spew my verbal venom. Alot of "how dare you's" etc. I recognize that this is not good- my kettle is boiling over- its why im trying to sort this out in case a piecing opportunity ever appear's.

Inside I feel like I want to punish her for doing what she did to us. She asked me to invite, and I did invite, the man she was having the a with over to the house for Christmas......I was a sucker looking back, but I trusted my wife.

I thought I was able to forgive but its tough. and if the opportunity ever presents itself for "R" I want to be well practiced and not feed off of emotion.

Has something happened to make me think differently about my current sitch? Why am I dwelling on this stuff?

Nothing has happened to make me think she will be back any more then I did 2 months ago but Ive learned to trust my gut and if my gut is telling me to resolve this issue in my mind- resolve i will.

Im also realizing that another stressor in my life is my current job. Been here 8 years, no growth and too many burnt out co-workers. Again, the plan was to head overseas with my family. Now, im stuck with a relatively high paying job in a rural area. I want to make a change in this facet of my life but am dealing with the fact that to start something new now, with so many variables, is undesirable- so professional life is "needs to improve"

Summer is all over up here. Its dark again when I wake up and the nights are in the low 50's. Im afraid the house isnt going this year which makes everything complicated.

My wife couldn't even have the decency to say " happy birthday" to me.

I would never take " happy birthday" to mean " I'm sorry, I screwed up, you are my life, I have wronged you, I love you or take me back.....

I would take it to mean that I have shared my life with you for 18 years, we have a d3.5 together have a nice day.

I received calls and texts and emails from a lot of truly wonderful people in my life today and I am forever grateful that they allow me to share a piece of their lives.

This morning; d3.5 gave me a wooden birthday cake with a pretend candle. She said " happy birthday daddy, make a wish and blow out the candle

My wish - to be the daddy my awesome daughter deserves

I really do not like the woman my wife has become.........

"My wife couldn't even have the decency to say " happy birthday" to me."

It happens. The WAS feels that ANY nice gestures would have the LBS misinterpreting it.

I'll say happy birthday. Happy birthday to a new friend. To someone who has shown his true colours and they are spectacular. To someone who is doing the tough work of a parent and the even tougher job of learning his own worth.

Hugs

Ruby