GM, I'm very sorry to read that your mom is slipping away very quickly. I pray that when the time does come, that the good Lord will take her quickly and in her sleep. She's endured so much in the last year or so.
As for your xh, leave him outside for now. You need to keep your focus on your mother and father. Life is far too short to allow mlc to ruin what precious little time you have left to spend w/your mother.
Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
My mom passed away yesterday. We were all with her including my boys. It was a precious moment and one that deepened our family bond.
These last few weeks that my dad and I cared for my mom have been very hard. There were many heartbreaking moments, but also some funny ones as well. I can understand how losing a parent can cause one to re-evaluate their life and feel the need to make changes. I'm definitely looking at my life and deciding what's important and what's not. It will take a while to re-shape things so my life works and feels right. What I don't feel the need to do is change myself in some radical way, leave my family, job, etc. MLC is even more puzzling to me now. My mom's cancer and death has brought me closer to my family and my life's purpose. I really can't relate to the MLCer who dumps everything.
Xh leaving me is insignificant in the big picture. I no longer care and haven't for some time. I really wish he would just move far away and never contact me again.
GM, My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. I know your mom had been ill for quite some time. I am very glad that you and your family were there w/her to surround her w/love as she crossed over. GM, you mother may be gone, but she is not forgotten and she is still here in your heart and soul. She will be watching over you and your family for many years to come.
May you find some peace and comfort in knowing that she lived a full and wonderful life and raised a wonderful daughter and was there for her family through thick and thin.
Please make sure your dad is okay and has someone there w/him for the new few weeks. It's a terrible loss for him and he may feel a bit lost w/her presence not in the home.
Again, I am very, very sorry.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I found solace in your posts - my dad, who is nearly 90, has just been told he might have "2 hours, 2 weeks or 2 months" left, after a stent from a previous quad by-pass was found to be almost completely calcified.
He's old and sick, but it's still hard to take.
To hear that you and your boys were there with your mom gave me the courage to plan for the same for my dad.
I'm so sorry gm.......I'm glad you were able to be with her and have those experiences in the end.
my deepest condolences to you and your entire family.
take care
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
GM, please accept my condolences for your loss. It is very very hard, even when expected.
And yes, the thoughtful re-evaluation of life certainly takes place at these times. But because you are already an emotionally mature person, the changes you make will be part of growing up, not running away from further maturity of mind and spirit, as a MLCer does.
Sorry to hear about your moms passing. You sound like you are doing well during this very hard time. It also feels like your introspection and the work you have done around your divorce is opening you to be so much more present for your dad and your boys.
You are an even better mom because of all your work. Your mom is so proud of you
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
Thank you all for your kind messages. This is an incredibly difficult time. I can't believe I'm back in deep grief again. The tears are flowing. However, it's different than before. I'm not shattered. I'm just very sad. It's hard to see my kids hurting again. My youngest was very close to my mom. She was his best friend.
It was so painful watching my dad say goodbye to my mom. They were married almost 50 years. It wasn't always easy, but they stuck by each other knowing that happiness comes from within. They gave me such a gift, one I had hoped to give my own children.
My boys and I will continue to spend a lot of time with my dad. They are learning very important lessons - loving and caring for others, making time for family and, generally, what really matters and what doesn't.
It's so clear to me now why my life changed so dramatically these last few years. Because xh is gone I was able to be fully present for my mom. I am no longer on tilt, worrying about his gambling addiction and feeling resentful because I didn't have his help with the boys or around the house. While I was caring for my mom I truly enjoyed being with her and my dad and just being a daughter. I wasn't worried about the boys or what wasn't being done at home. Ironically, if xh was still at home I would have been and I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. So, now I know. Xh leaving was preparing me for what was to come. My shattered heart was mended and I was much better equipped to face the end of my mom's life.
