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Ms Pam --

Sounds like you had a very good appt with Dr! Good for you for getting your questions out there!

Quote:

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Tonight is our hair appointment so hopefully that will go all right. I don't know whether to bring anything up or just let it be a no stress evening.

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Well, hon...I've said this before but it bears repeating...more stressfree evenings with CHL = GOOD.

Don't bring up the settlement. You can set up an "appt" to do that with him another time. Use this night, this ritual you share, to just be with him...the woman he fell in love with, etc. You say that you hope it goes well..it WILL because you will go into it with pure optimism and all that YOU CAN DO to make it a positive experience.

Sage

Good Morning Sage,

I was pretty determined to sit there till I got some questions answered. I like it much better when my emotions aren't all over the place and I can for sure do with no more dreams like that one!!

Really good point Sage, THANK YOU, for thinking for me this morning!!!

I am going to be as positive as I can be to make it a good evening!!

I really hate the dizzy feeling in my head and hope my body adjusts quickly to the new dosage.

Good Morning Pam!

Sending you hugs and sunshine!

Pam,

I like the plan, stress free fun and let the settlement issue wait till later. Keep the fun in this ritual.

Jackie

Hi PIB,

Thank you for the hug and the sunshine.

Hey did you have any of the dizzyness on the Zoloft?

Hi Jackie,

I think it is a good idea also, I would like to have a fun evening.

The next hair appointment would be getting much closer to the court date and I am not really sure he will make another one, so this may be our last opportunity to have a sort of good time together.

My head is so very all over the place right now. A part of me still wishes I would go to sleep and not wake up, feeling lousy I do realize adds to that one.

Another part wants to find a way to just go away and live where no one knows me.

Of course there is still the part that wishes the marriage with D had worked out.

Right now I just don't know what to do anymore, so I am sort of trying to do the do nothing.

So many thoughts:

I don't want to be alone / I don't mind being alone.

I wish I could support myself / I don't want to go to college and get a degree to have a job that pays well.

I want the shelties with me / I should start finding them good homes in case I end up in an apartment.

I have nothing to live for / Eventually I might figure out something.

I just don't know why the emotions have went so all over the place now.

I just haven't been this out of it in I don't know how long and it is not pleasant!

Ok, my head still feels horrible. So many emotions in it.

But it has done this before and it eventually goes away.

I am just going to have to sit through this till I can think again.

Ok, lady! You've got your focus too much on the negative.

As scripture says focus on things ABOVE! Start counting your blessings right now. What are they?

Don't focus on the ending...look at the beginning . You'll continue to spiral down as long as you keep looking at the bad...no pill will help that...only you can refocus your thoughts.

Come on! If nothing else turn on Christian radio and jam out!

Cindy

Pam,

Each time my doctor upped my prescription, I had nausea. This actually made me happy, cause I felt like it was helping me stick with my diet.

Heh.

As for having your time with him be positive..I absolutely agree.

I think one of the main strategies I used with winning Monkey back, was making up my mind that if this was the last time I was going to see him, I wanted to make sure I left him with a wonderful time to remember. I figured the relationship stuff could wait...but I wanted to make sure I left him with the memory of having a nice time with me.

That way, when he was going through time without me calling him, contacting him, if he thought of me...it'd be nice thoughts. I truly believe this helped in a HUGE way.

And it worked...each nice time I left him with ended up with more time with him!

And I think there were a couple of phone calls that were not nice times..and it took awhile after those for him to call me again.

If this is the last time you see him for a while, make sure you give him a nice time to remember.

And as for your emotions being all over the place...sounds to me like the meds need some time to kick in. I always tried to keep in mind that it could take up to a month...and when I reminded me of that, it helped me deal with the present emotions much easier.

I'm so glad she upped your dosage. My doctor told me that 50 is way low...just to make sure the side effects aren't too bad. But that a higher dosage is needed to help with depression. That's why I was worried that you weren't on the right dosage.

I'm so relieved! Soon, you'll start feeling better and stronger!

Hugs!