Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Hardened heart continues II

"Did you read the posts before to make sense of this quote?"

Yes I did. And it was still inappropriate.

I agree I was actually quite gobsmacked when I read it. I hope I answered it to your satisfaction

Lets call a time-out before this quote becomes the only thing discussed.
At times on this forum, like outside this forum, we say things that sounded right at the time, but later on we probably regret or feel we could have said differently.
Lets simply move on. What was said has been said. Some agree, some disagree. I for one don't want to keep reading this topic when it is going to be arguing about a quote.

I agree You've just reminded me HWA, I was supposed to read your thread I wonder where 2old is tonight/today, he's normally on by now

2old is staying quiet today... same ole same ole nothing new...3 days from anniversary and WAW seems just fine staying quiet herself. She hasnt initiated contact in awhile via email. Trying to accept she simply doesn't want to be in touch with me.......

And there's me thinking you were out enjoying yourself and GALing, lol What have you been up to lately, any news to tell us? Did you finish sorting out your D's school? I realise it's tough for you. I've just been reading HWA's thread and has reminded me about something that I used to do when my H first left. 2old, do you ever blame yourself for W leaving? Do you ever feel that you're not good enough for her? If the answer is yes to one or both of those questions, then you need to do what I did. Repeat to yourself - I'm not to blame and I am good enough for her. Once you've repeated it every day for a couple of weeks, you start to believe it.
Try repeating other things to yourself as well such as - I will focus on myself and not worry about what my W is up to. I don't bother about when she'll contact me again. etc, etc.
Just try it, believe me it does work

well, I went to church today, then we did lunch...just trying to stay busy busy....I will be helping D out this week with her classroom a few days....I was just reading recent postings on others sitchs. I seen where it was said that the W should not initiate contact with WAH by any means. That he will contact W without question. Again, I just need to know if I should stay dark with my WAW and for how long? 8 days ago I slipped up and emailed her hope you have a fabulous day and she never responded. So. I remain quiet and she has too. Its now 4 months this week she left and tuesday is anniversary. She has opened up a little when I give her something she should have but nothing much else. 8 days quiet I remain even though I have been tempted..

My H contacts me more since I stopped communicating with him. I would still go along with the NC and stick to it this time. Maybe if you get some new friends or new interests or hobbies then you might not think about her as much. I've suggested a few things you can do. Keep checking the local paper for anything that catches your eye. Even if it's just a few hours volunteer work, you'll make new friends and it'll look good on your CV
I only ring my H back now if he rings first and I miss his call. Try and do something else on your anniversary so you don't think about it. I was having a carnival meeting at my house on our anniversary, so I didn't even think about it. Maybe you could go out for a meal with your D or cook a meal for her and her family?
Just my 2 cents worth

I know trying, Im giving new stuff a go.....Im just dealing with the reality of 4 months of this stuff. And W doesn't seem to care to engage me even after 4 months. I am thinking the fog or just dont care attitude towards me is just getting worse. And that stupid email I had sent 8 days ago did have a little more in it than I admitted to here. Simply said woke up thinking about you just a little and however u take this just wanted to say have a fabulous day...I know I know...2 x 4 time...But i have been silent since. I guess I have no alternative but to stay dark with her..

I'm nearly 5 months down the line, it'll be 5 months on the 2nd September and I'm nowhere near a R at the mo. My H has recently gone even more into a fog and the fog doesn't seem to be lifting.
The point I'm trying to make is that after 4 months you should have adjusted to this new life by now. Maybe I'm being too hard on you as I am a strong person who gets out there regardless. Plus I have a son that I have to keep strong for. He wouldn't want me wallowing about in self pity, he wants to go out. In a way he's the one that keeps me motivated.
Our sitches are poles apart, but our spouses both upped and left.
I'm not going to give you a 2x4 for the email, that's been and gone and you should stop dwelling on it. You've learnt by your mistake and you won't be doing that again in a hurry! It may have put you back a bit with her contacting you, but try not to think about this.
I know she's the love of your life, but you really do need to stop repeating yourself on here and dwelling on things. Most importantly, you need to start doing things, new interests, hobbies,etc. You don't have to be back from town now at a certain time, you can eat what you want to, you can cook when you want, you can get up when you want. You are your own person now and you need to have a PMA through all this or it'll just drag you down all the time and your health will suffer.
I hope you've made an appt with the doctor this week about getting some help for your depression. Even just talking to your doctor will help He may even suggest some support groups for you to go to.