Well, that might explain why WAW's D says her Mother talks very little about our sitch. And that when she does its confusing. They have always been close but her D and her husband is also very close to me. The grandkids love us both.
That is so true Cadet The only person that can help them is themselves Like an alcoholic, they can only give up alcohol by admitting to themselves that that is the problem In the past I've tried talking to my H about his depression, but then you get accused of nagging them. If I let him get on with it by himself, he would do As with the depression, H says that he can deal with it without any outside help. I think that he will get to the stage where he is crying out for help from the doctors. Am I right Cadet or can they go on forever without getting any professional help?
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I'm going to be completely honest here and get this off my chest....I've been doing alot of thinking the past few days about my sitch. The number one first and foremost thing thats really laying heavy on me is how my W left without a word and absolutely no clues of what she was about to do. This I think is what I have not been able to get a handle on. I believe this is the one thing I have not been able to get past. I understand everything that all have been telling me and I have read DR 2 times. The idea though, that she was able to do this without a hint of what was going to come down lays heavy on me. The fact she has gone almost 4 months without speaking to me is also unreal in my mind. My point is, how can a supposed love one behave so normal and within a matter of a few hours turn into someone like you have never known. 2 x 4 me be my guest, I'm sure I deserve it but, normal folks just dont walk out on a 12 year relationship like she did and then just shut you out completely. Or do they?
2old, chances are that she said something to you regarding the M. She may even have given you hints that she was done. She either didn't express in a way you understood or you weren't listening. They don't just pick up and go. There are hints. Some we catch some we don't. She may have made it perfectly clear but you were in denial. I don't know, just making assumptions. The bottom line is that you are asking questions that only she and maybe you know the answers to. The more you dwell and obsess the harder this will be on you.
I can tell you that I noticed changes in my Exw's behavior towards me in 2009. We separated in 2011. I don't think there was anything I could have done about it knowing that. Gal buddy and gal hard.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
My point is, how can a supposed love one behave so normal and within a matter of a few hours turn into someone like you have never known. 2 x 4 me be my guest, I'm sure I deserve it but, normal folks just dont walk out on a 12 year relationship like she did and then just shut you out completely. Or do they?
No 2x4's from me.
She is not "NORMAL"
You ever seen the eye of a hurricane?
Everything all around seems completely "NORMAL" right?
What do you think is about to happen if you are at the center of the storm?
The same is the case here, a MAJOR storm has been brewing inside her and it has now exploded.
You are now playing by different rules, they are not NORMAL.
Keep thinking like you are Alice(in Wonderland) and you are down the rabbit hole. Was anything that happened there normal?
2old, I feel you are going round in circles with this one. Rick is right, there must be some clues or hints as to why she left. I've also said this to you before, but maybe that's your problem is that you don't listen. It won't do you any good at all obsessing about your W's actions and why she left you. Let her go and get on with your life. I haven't got much to go on either with my H, but I'm GALing hard. I'm feeling very sad and angry this week, but I'm trying to carry on regardless! Also having a PMA also helps Watch a comedy show, put some lively music on, think positive thoughts and say positive statements aloud Hope this helps
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
The difference between a WAS and MLC is that the walk away has been telling you what is wrong for years and you didnt listen. In MLC there can be NO reasons, cause it is inside of them, and is really not a marriage issue, but the marriage is a casualty of the crisis.
So it is possible that you just dont know and that is it. And TBH like Rick said, even if you did know you more than likely could not FIX it.
thing is, of course there is always problems in a marriage. And I have noted several times she had said things. So, I do see how some things were missed. Nonetheless, as I understand it now, a fog or depression or MLC is making her confusing to talk with. If she had just left as a normal person out of anger or anything hate then she would of just walked and even maybe told me she was. But, as you say Cadet it seems she is not normal and living as alice where everything is confused. I'm just trying to understand either she just walked with no storm exploding or she is indeed doing as alice (in wonderland)
Did you read the posts before to make sense of this quote? I do agree though it was inappropriate, but I think he was just trying to prove a point. Wrongly of course
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
The only person that can help them is themselves 