2old, Cadet has just posted this on my thread and I thought I'd post it here in case you don't visit my thread.
Originally Posted By: TryingToDo180 I thought he was going through a MLC and especially since he's now dyed his hair black. He asked me if I liked his hair and then said "and no, I'm not going through a MLC!".
And you believe what he says?
Like you think he knows whether he is in MLC or not?
As far as the storm quotes from 2old's thread. Yes there is a storm going on inside of him.
Just because you cant see it meand absolutely nothing. They wear a mask and cover up how they feel, they are hiding it from you, friends, relatives and even themselves.
At some point(I dont know when) the mask will slip and you will see the tremendous amount of PAIN that they are in behind the mask.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I was doing some reading last night and found that even the christian based blogs talk about these storms inside people as a reason for so many divorces happening within the churches. Alot of the writers suggest letters of deep apology to the WAS's mainly validating how they must feel. Again, however it's the same problems. That a WAS christian or not will not accept apologies as depression or MIL is the same as described on this board. It's just difficult to reach out to a WAS whatever theyre belief. Does this make sense? Anyways, all is quiet. Anniversary is 6 days away. Was told by D that W talked about our anniversary being a few days before hers (D's). SO I know not to say anything about anniversary.
2old, it does make sense you cannot reach out whatever their belief. My W was a Christian, believed quite seriously, even been singing at her church for the last 12 years. In my early days I even brought up (shouldn't have, I know now) what the bible says about divorce etc. She even has a tattoo on her lower back saying "Faith". I questioned how she could have this belief but then not follow through. All I got was, I am still a Christian and I know what the bible says, but that is that.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
HWA, my W put her bible down I estimate about a month before she left. I remember when I took her to the airport for her visit to son's asking her is she wanted her bible which was on the floor of the car in the back. SHe said no. I should od known at that moment something was really wrong. She has been a staunch believer for years. So the question that sticks out is why? How can a believer especially a WAW throw away there belief in Christ and walk away from all? My only answer to this is depression or MIL. What else could possibly take their strong beliefs away. Again, even if one doesn't want their M anymore then u can use your belief to walk away spiritually not throw away your bible and go against everything you believed....I mean I really cant figure this out its just not of the norm....
I don't think my W has given up her faith, just parts of the faith that she didn't agree with. I suppose it all just comes down to the crazy type of fog a lot of WAS are in. We just cannot understand the reasoning behind a lot of things.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
"I don't think my W has given up her faith, just parts of the faith that she didn't agree with."
Well, if you are a believer, a true believer then you know very well you cannot ignore any of God's word. It just cant be done. And they as righteous believers know this....
2old I have learned that many M woman after raising children and reaching a certain age have some kind of awakening. One where they want to find themselves. Find their identity enjoy their freedom. On the other hand man cling more to their spouses as they age. It is not abnormal for your W to have put the bible down if this is what is happening to her.
I understand that you want answers or an explanation for what she had done. You may never get one. So why sit there and wait? Life is waiting buddy
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Morning Rick, Yea I'm really not sitting here waiting. I have begun my journey forward. By nature though, because of research employment throught the years its in me to seek out answers. And even though there may be no clear answers at least one can get a small handle on what we are having to deal with. Whether we like it or not aren't we having to deal with our sitch's until conclusion one way or the other. Im trying very hard to not obsess. Im feel like I'm just trying to stay informed on whatever is coming next. Believe me Im done trying to make sense of this.
Good morning Cadet....Did you read any of what I wrote yesterday? Where I was talking about the fact she knows how I feel and I know she at least cares. Yes, I understand and I'm not obsessing but even her D doesnt fully understand why she isnt speaking to me some 3.5 months later. I guess though you have answered this previously. I dont recall reading what you just mentioned the fourth pillar of an MLC. Body, Spouse, Job, God. according to Jim Conway. Is there a link to read this? You sure seem to have this nailed down pretty doggone well.
