Things are going well for you. Please keep in mind what you wrote Rachelle a little while ago about pressure.
It is much easier to give advice than follow our own.
I'm not saying you are pressuring but just be careful.
I know you know this, but i have to say it anyways. Realize what a wonderful gift you have received in the chance to rebuild your marriage. Your prayers have been answered my friend. Never forget the source of this opprotunity and seek continued guidance in strengthening your marriage.
Marc, thanks for dropping by my thread. Yes pray will definetly help you and your sitch. Remember, it works on God's time, not our. (Yes I need to remember this too )
Patrick, You are absolutely right, I need to take my own advice to heart. I can see it work right in front of me when I don't pressure.
I think I will set a goal to not mention "coming home" or anything like "I miss you here" until MC Monday and see what happens. Hold me to this and bring out the 2xs if I don't.
I have to remeber that she knows how I feel. And she won't forget. I have to be patient and not suffocate her when she makes a step toward me.
Thanks so much for the reminder, and yes I thank God every day for the chance he is giving me to save this M!
Your a blessing Patrick, thanks agian friend.
God Bless You,
Reuben
Cautiously hopeful and keeping the Momentum
To my suprise my W just called and said she wants to have breakfast with me tomorrow, so she is coming by to spend the night again with me.
This will be the third night in a row, and I really didn't think she would want to come by tonight. This is such a great suprise. I am going to have to work hard to not say "I miss you here", but I have to stick by my goal.
I'll post again tomorrow after our time together, I am just so greatful to God for giving me this chance. I hope I can keep this going and keep the BIG MO!
God Bless You,
Reuben
Cautiously hopeful and keeping the Momentum
It sounds like you're doing a FINE job here! Keep up the great work!!
I think I will set a goal to not mention "coming home" or anything like "I miss you here" until MC Monday and see what happens. Hold me to this and bring out the 2xs if I don't.
I think that's a GREAT goal. DO stick with this one for just a bit, anyway. In fact, I'm not even sure about mentioning it in the MC session quite yet. It might be better to wait for either her or the C to bring this up. Be sure that this is "her" idea.
Maybe just focus on "what's going right" for right now, and talking about some of the positives that you have seen since your last session. This should take up most of the session anyway, right?!
I hope your time together goes great, my friend! Keep up that momentum!!!
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
Thanks for the reply, and yeah I plan to not bring it up and let her start that conversation.
She just left here and we had a great time. She came over last night around 11:30 and I was in bed already. She was frustrated because her meds froze out in her van. She even said "my life's a mess, and I should have just left them here". She then was a bit down because she had left thing out in the van that needed to be brought in, so I offered to get out of bed get dressed and get them. She thanked me and even hugged and kissed me and said ILY before I did.
We sat around for about an hour talking until we went to bed. In bed we watched TV for a while, and she even rubbed my side while laying there. It was so nice I she initiated it. She let me hold her during the night, and let me kiss her goodnight. Its so great to have her stay here.
In the morning we woke up and hung out listening to music and talking. She then made me breakfast, and I helped her get it together. We had a nice breakfast, and I thanked her for making it. We then did her laundry (she brought over a garbage bag worth of clothes).
After I showered and walked in to get dressed, she stopped me and looked at my butt to check me out because of the weight I lost. She even said it made her a bit crazy to see me walking through the house. She even took a picture of me! She asked if sometime she could draw a sexy pic of me, and I said it would be fun to do together.
Then after her shower, while she was getting ready, she let me look at her and said she didn't mind it. Then when I was in her room, she asked me to rub lotion on her, and let me over most of her body. It was the most intimate we have been for a while. We thanked each other and even said it would be a fun ritual.
We then talked more while I folded her clothes. I got her out a suitcase and put her clothes in there, and told her I didn't want her dragging stuff around in garbage bags that my W deserved better. We then took more pictures of each other and a few together. We also talked about building a chopper in the future and even getting tattoos together with a same symbols like Chinese husband and wife or R and A.
When she left we thanked each other for the great time, and she even mentioned she might come by again tonight. I told her I hoped she would, but would be alright if she didn't. She hugged me at her van and let me kiss her good bye. I said ILY, she said I know, and then ILY2, and I said I know.
It was a great time and gets better each time. She initiated most of the hugs and kisses (not passionate yet but maybe soon). And when I touched her leg, she would hold my hand and even look at me, and then hug and kiss me.
Its going good, and I think I didn't bring up coming home either. May have slipped, but only as "I like it when your here" which she always agreed, and she agrees this is going well.
Other things was she shared more about her friends, and mostly about their troubles and hers living out of a sack. It really the first she has talked a length about her new friends. I even offered to help the Guy she is staying with who both his vehicles broke down. She really appreciated the offer of help.
There has been so many babysteps this week and I have a really high PMA because of it. And I was fine if she didn't call or come over last night, and I feel it will be the same tonight. I do have a hunch she will come over tonight or tomorrow night tho. She even left her suit case of washed clothes here. She told me she was going to, and I asked if she had other clothes. She said she has a few other bags there. But I think leaving stuff here was a good sign also. Kinda like moving a little bit back in.
I staying cool and easy and taking her lead. And I feel its paying of big time. Last other neat thing was I said I need to get my wedding ring resized because of the weight loss. I said I was going to when she put hers back on, because I didn't want to not have a ring on. She said we should get me a ring temporary when we get it done. I feel that she wants it on me too.
God Bless You,
Reuben
Cautiously hopeful and keeping the Momentum
I am sorry I haven't visited you before now. I lost you when you made the switch to peicing. I am glad you were able to make the move.
You are seeing awesome things happening right in front of your eyes. I need to keep you in mind. We both have the trouble of trying to share too much of our feelings and wanting to over talk things. You are an inspiration my freind.
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