Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Hardened heart continues II

I did mean to ask you how to get around the fact she knows how I feel...How do you try and show AS IF? This is probably why not much from her to me.

Did u watch the last Samurai with Tom Cruise? Great flick. There is a part when they are teaching him the art of Samurai and gets the crapp kicked out of him. One young Samurai tells him "too much mind".

2old you said she's not spoken to you in 3 and a half months, but she has sent you emails That is a form of communication.
As regards to my H, he stopped going to Church back in January because he'd had some hassle there (long story!). After that it was young friends and working harder than normal. Christians are not a different breed of people you know, we still feel pain, heartache, etc. Yes we are stronger because of our faith as we believe in being guided by God. God has prepared for us a better life than the one we had before, even if it take ages to achieve it! You'll look back and think ah so that's why this happened and that's happened and realise it's part of a much bigger plan. Even if you don't believe in God, you must believe in fate and this is what is happening now in your life.
When a WAS turns away from the bible, it is through guilt. They may have given up on God, but God hasn't given up on them! They can't face God right now because of all the sin in their heart, but what they don't realise is that God has already forgiven them

TDT180, I do believe in God and attended church all the time with W. For many years. This is one of the reasons I know she has a storm raging inside her. She must, because you just dont turn away from your beliefs especially as strongly as she was a believer. And yea Rick i seen that movie...It was good....

That's good to know 2old Carry on believing, God is with you

Just wanted to throw this in regarding God and the WAS. For years I did volunteer work on Saturday mornings for Habitat for Humanity. My W and kids have always been late sleepers, so typically when I was getting home from Habitat they had only been up an hour or so trying to wake up. I would shower and then we would go to lunch. My W asked me why I did the volunteer work and I told her the Lord had blessed us so much that it was my way of thanking Him for our blessings. After BD that was actually one of the things that she used against me, I was ALWAYS gone at Habitat and she resented that I spent ALL THAT TIME there. How dare I do volunteer work while she's sleeping in!!! The old saying "no good deed goes unpunished" really is true.

The old saying "no good deed goes unpunished" really is true.
I found this on the internet about it and for me it rings true
That is a pessimistic saying. I tend to believe what goes around comes around. That is if you are good to people they are good to you and if you are mean to people you are in for trouble. I don’t know how to prove the saying no good deed goes unpunished but go out and smile at people and see if they don’t start smiling back at you. That is the simplest form of showing what goes around comes around.
AS, I thought you had a more PMA than this Although I also know that we have good days and bad days and you must be having a bad day today
I always remember a vicar talking to us and telling us about this man who said that if no-one smiled at him that day he would throw himself off the cliff. He was feeling that low and just wanted a friendly smile. He didn't get one, so he threw himself off the nearest cliff. That story has stuck with me for a long time and whenever I see someone looking glum in town, I always give them a smile just in case It also helps to boost your PMA. Even if I'm not doing anything on a particular day, I will go into town and have a look around the shops. I normally meet someone I know and stop to have a chat. It saves me getting fed up at home with only my son for company. My son is good company, it's just that he tends to stay up in his room most of the day. Typical teen! lol

Yes, I think everyone else has answered you concerning this.


Jim Conway is an author similar to MWD, he wrote a few books the main one is called "Men in MLC" also another one called "Women in MLC".
So it is his wisdom that I am quoting, I did not make it up myself, although I have watched it unfold.

The four pillars, Conway also called the four Enemies of an MLC'er are listed in the chapter called "Her Husband's Own Crisis" in the book "Women in MLC"

There are no real links for that here on DB.
Only DB links are allowed to be posted so that is the best I can do.

As far as her daughter understanding her.
No one will understand except someone that has experience with someone in crisis.

And yet Christ was crucified.

Thanks Cadet, I did find some of this info from the MLC links in the final stages thread....