Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers starting over again

Way to go K. I just did the same thing - I'd grown my hair long because H liked it that way so last week I went and had it cut short. H hates it, although it is a similar style to the way I wore my hair when we met and married, but everyone else loves it and even say it makes me look 10-15 lbs thinner. That's a real ego boost I'll tell you.

Do something for you. It'll make you feel better just knowing that you've done it for you not someone else.

Well I now know my M is completly over I just asked H a simple question tonight and maybe he was right. He does work to midnight and I didn't know that he was off tonight . My question to him was if he had gotten my last text cause I had switch to a different cable network because the old cable network was under his name and he will have to call the old cable network to have it canceled. He told me that he was in bed and to text at a different time
I had apologize for texting late but I didn't know if he had gotten my text since he said his phone doesn't work all the time. Then his next text to me said quit texting so late at night this is so immature. Once again I said that Im sorry to have bother you and I wont bother you again I had thought he was at work. I can't seem to do or say anything right I don't know where to go from here. I guess I should just go completely dark and just to survive on my own just act like he no longer exists.

Sorry to hear what you are going through K, but this is typical behaviour from the WAS. I agree that you shouldn't contact him again until he contacts you. He will contact you eventually because he will want to see the boys. Act as if nothing is wrong when he does contact you. Play it cool and don't rise to his bait. Don't have a go at him, just treat him as if he was a friendly neighbour.
You can never tell that your M is completely over or not, it's too soon.
Take care of yourself and your boys Speak soon

He is actually taking the boys tonight until Thursday night. 180 im really scared about this new behavior that he is showing me he has never talked to me that way in all The years that I have known him. My MIL told me that I need to stop being so nice to him and I needed to start standing up for myself if not he would just keep putting me in the hole financially and I can't cover for the two bills he was in charge of before he left me. I think I'll just try to take care of the two bills on my own from here I don't want to cause more problems for anyone anymore.

TT180 is so right. It is typical WAS behaviour and you can never tell if it completely over. As hard as it is, you should only contact him if it relates to your boys.

Have you tried contacting the cable company yourself - explain that your H no longer lives at that address and if necessary give them his contact number. I did that when the bank kept calling about our credit card but wouldn't speak to me even though my name is second on the account. They soon dealt with the issue on my word.

You and your boys are the important ones now. Concentrate on you and them. Let your H sort himself out.

I tell the utility companies that H no longer lives here and if they require a signature then I get it next time I see him. NQ is right, you should only contact him about the boys now and then only if you NEED to. Don't make excuses to contact him if you don't want him to upset you.
My H is exactly the same especially at the beginning. I think who's this alien that has taken my H? He has mellowed now, but that is only because I've carried on being nice to him. As someone said on here - you can's shoot someone who hasn't got a gun! Be strong K and look after yourself and those boys of yours

Well the H has my boys until Thursday and I already miss my boys. I'm so lonely here at home all by myself. It was really hard foe me not to say anything to H when he came to pick up my boys tonight. All I did was just smile and be polit to H. I know I still have a very long way to go but I miss H so much I just want to have my family back so much I know it may or may not happen. I really good he will come around and we turn to our family instead of being OW.

It's hard being away from the kids. I'm lucky in that my son doesn't stay with H, but rather H comes round to the house to visit S13. But it nearly killed me when S13 went to sleep away camp for two weeks. I'm glad H comes to visit even though it means I have to interact with him whether I want to or not.

Is there anything you can do to get yourself out of the house when the boys are with your H? Sitting around in an empty house is not good for your PMA. Consider it part of your GALing.

I would have gone out but I work tomorrow I'm going on my six day straight of working in a row. Then I have one day off then back to work for two more days then off one day then four days straight then two days off which one of those does is my in laws family reunion. And I was told that I have to show up cause I'm still family. Which I'm glad that I'm still part of the family since I don't have any blood family close to me just all of the in laws. Its been a super long week all ready. I may go out tomorrow night I did get invited to hang out with some of The girls from work

K, are you sure you want to go to the family reunion? Is H not going to be there with the OW? If so, I really hope you rethink about it. I know I'd hate to be at a family reunion with H there with an OW. It'll just hurt and upset you. Talk to MIL and tell her how you feel about this. Don't just go to be strong and face the music, no-one is that strong that they won't get affected by seeing their loved one with someone else.
I know a woman who when you know her will come across as hard, yet she won't go into a certain shop because she knows that the OW works there. This is after 3 years and she's D. She said that she's got over him and moved on, but I don't think she has!
Find something to do with your time on your own. Go for a long soak in the bath, lounge around in your nightclothes, do anything that you can't normally do when everyone is around Hope you're ok and speak to you soon