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I am amazed at the amount of time and energy your h puts into trying to prove that you're interfering, etc. His anger is unsettling. Please talk to your attorney about getting out of there with your kids. I understand that you're on the mortgage and you're protecting your financial interests, but the emotional abuse that you suffer on a daily basis isn't worth it. Forget about your H's imposed deadline to get you out. I understand that it will seem like he's won. But, seriously WH, what will he really have gained? He lost a wonderful wife, time with his kids and is gaining a a real piece of work with an x and kids of her own. What a mess. Let them stew in it. You on the other hand will be on to a more peaceful, authentic existence. The time you do have with your kids will be healthier and more enjoyable without all of the background static.

I'm worried about you, WH. As your h becomes more unglued his behavior toward you may escalate. Talk to your attorney about getting support ASAP so you have money to move. Can your family help you until then? You're not giving in to your h, you're taking control of your life.

He and OW have cooked up quite a complicated plan for accomplishing and maintaining their life together.

Thanks, GM. I appreciate it. H is becoming very unglued. I am waiting to hear back from my attorney to see where we go from here.

I really hope in a way his anger toward me does escalate. Because then he will do something stupid. Really stupid. He is trying to push me out. I am not going. It is the only thing I have that H wants. I plan to use it to my favor. He is not going to bully me.

GM he is a big bag of wind. He is all blow, no show. He doesn't care that he lost his wife. To him I am the cause of all his misery. He hates me. He doesn't think he is losing the kids. I am sure he thinks the judge will have the kids stay with him. He thinks the OW is the best thing since sliced bread and my kids are the ones who have to pay the price.

And my family has done nothing but help me since day one. I can't keep asking them for help. I got myself into this mess and I need to find my way out.

H is all about cooking up complicated plans. That's how his life rolls. He makes a decision, sticks to it and decides he will clean up the mess from the fall out later. No, make that he has someone else clean up the mess for him.

And as much as I am interfering with his parenting, he is interfering with mine. That water bottle incident was on my time, not his. If I use "H logic" then he had "no right" to clean that water bottle. LOL!

I am ready to move out of the house, but I am not paying H one dime in order to move out. And I am doing it on my time schedule, not his.

WH

Why would you have to pay your h to move out? I understand that you may be under water on the house, but I don't see how you would be forced to pay him. Have you thought about asking the court to force a sale of the house and dividing/selling assets to pay off the mortgage? I can't remember what you've written about that.

I understand about having your own timeline for moving. It sounds like you and your attorney have it figured out. I'm glad that you have friends and family supporting you while you transition.

Well thanks, GM but my attorney just emailed me that the GAL wants us to part ways ASAP so it seems the GAL is on H's side. I feel hopeless and at the end of my rope.

It seems H is not obligated to pay support and maintenance unless the divorce is final. How can I be expected to survive and start over when H's income is 3 times my own. I really feel like everything is caving to H's agenda. So much for the power of prayer.

Sorry guys. I feel really beat down right now. I need prayers.

WH

H says for me to move out I need to pay him what the house is underwater. My attorney says no. H takes the house at zero balance or it gets put up for sale.

And about the provision of the kids staying away from the GF the GAL says "oh, half the people are living with others by this time." Seriously??? That makes it okay???

I am so fed up.
WH

wh,
Have you given any thought to having him "buy" you out of the house? When my xh went crazy, we still owed on our home and yes, we even had a second mortgage on the place. Didn't matter, I either had to agree to sell the place and divide up the interest in the home or buy him out. By the time we were divorced, I had paid the second mortgage off and my xh wasn't aware of this. But, bottom line, he was in such a hurry to get his "share", that he only wanted what he thought our county would be taxing us for the real estate taxes which ended up being just a third of what he would have gotten had he agreed to the splitting of everything by 50%. He lost a lot of money going that way, but I kept my house and my mortgage is a very small one compared to many in the area.

You might want to check out the house mortgage info and see if it is in your best interest to just walk away. I think it would be something well worth looking into because I think you are entitled to have the interest, no matter what, and especially, if he's going to refinance the place.

I don't think the GAL is necessarily on your H's side. I think the best interest of your kids is being considered. Your current situation just isn't working and it seems to be escalating. I'm sorry about the insensitive viewpoint of the GAL regarding OP in these situations.

Why can't your attorney get a temporary support order ASAP. It's unreasonable to expect you to move without immediate financial support. If that's not possible, do you have a case for moving back home? You and your children need a place to live. I can't imagine any court telling you to leave without a home and money.

It may seem like your h is gaining traction, but he isn't. In fact, he now may be forced to quickly refi (which you've said he can't do) or agree to a sale. His delusional plans may start to unravel.

I am praying for you, WH.

Just wondering, why are you the one who has to leave instead of h? I understand that he makes more money, but once support and maintenance is decided can you afford the mortgage? Do you want to stay in your home? I'm wondering if until the D is final if your attorney can get a temporary order keeping you in the house until financial matters are settled? Once you catch your breath start thinking creatively. There is more than one way to make this work.

I can't afford the mortgage on the house and I don't want the upkeep. H can barely afford the mortgage. That is why he wants a year to refinance. But if I move, I want it guaranteed he can refinance the house before I sign off.

The only reason I am staying in the house is so I have leverage. I can't afford to live on my own and if I just leave, H doesn't need to give me anything. I lose all leverage. My attorney thinks that story of H and OW getting married before the end of the year is just a story. He thinks H will drag out the D as long as possible so he doesn't have to pay child support and maintenance. I think he is stringing OW along so she can come in and pay the bills.

He is really a sneaky snake. I am talking to my attorney at 2:45. I told him I was freaking out and felt at the end of my rope. I am sure he has a plan. I hope so.

WH

I'm glad you are speaking with your attorney today. I understand about freaking out. My living situation and future hangs in the balance as well. It's hard to remain calm when you don't have the security of a basic necessity such as shelter. I will be talking with my attorney later as well. I'm praying that we both have some peace of mind at the end of the day. Stay strong.