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Hi Snodderly -

Yes, I can keep in touch with my co-worker. I am just so sad right now. Why do bad things always seem to happen to good people?

How on earth am I ever going to get anything accomplished with this guy? H is off the rails. My attorney busted him wide open for taking out 1/2 his bonus without telling me about it and leaving the other half for bills. H has been told by his attorney before that this is not how things are handled. H ignores the rules. I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Every time he is called on his behavior he turns it around and says how it is my fault that he did what he did. He says I am spending hundreds of dollars a month on my own personal debt. I have a cell phone and my counseling fees plus my own personal grooming. Project much?

I am not wearing down, but when will it end??? Will it ever end???

WH

WH,
Your h is a very stubborn and angry man. He needs to burn out that anger and it's going to take some time. However, the ball is rolling faster and faster down the hill and he's not going to be able to stop it because you and your lawyer are pushing back very hard and he knows what he needs to do, but he's pushing back too. That ball will land very hard at the bottom the hill in due time and that's when he's going to realize that he can't fight city hall any longer. Please be patient a while longer. Put your faith in God. It will end in due time.

Thanks again, Snodderly.

My fear is that H will get his way and my kids and I will be the ones to suffer, when we didn't ask for any of this. My attorney has correctly predicted every move H has made. I am so thankful I have him, even if he is expensive.

I know H is losing control of things quickly. I just want to move on and make the most of my life. I have lots of things I want to do. Lots of plans. I am tired of H standing in my way and holding me back.

I never thought I had this much patience.

WH

WH,
Dig deeper for patience...okay? Your h is his own worse enemy and your lawyer knows exactly what your h is doing and he will be there every step of the way to counter what your h wants. Let the system do the work and I know it's difficult, but you have to allow God to have the wheel on this one for a while. You've got to find your inner center and remain as calm as you can be. Your h is tipping his hand and I do not believe for one minute he's going to get everything he wants.

Hang in there a bit longer...he is self destructing and it will take a bit more time for that little time bomb to go off within him.

And there's more. Now H has filed a motion to dismiss my lawyer interviewing OW. On the grounds that she is on long-term disability and she cannot possibly be expected to drive over 100 miles to be interviewed. Oy veh. When does H get any work done at his job? Does he ever do any work? The whole thing is just ridiculous. Absolutely asinine.

All this because H doesn't want to cooperate and work with me. He has to have everything his way or the highway. He is like a madman spinning out of control.

WH

What exactly is the point of interviewing OW?

To get to the bottom of what H and OW's plans are. And to see if there are any credit cards in H's and OW's names that I need to make sure are not applied to my credit.

WH,
He may file a motion to dismiss the interview, i.e., her traveling to the court house, but someone can go there and take the deposition, type of the document and have her read it and sign it. There is always another way to do things if someone can't be in court. LOL! Bet he didn't think of that one!

The only credit cards you need to be concerned about are those that have both names, i.e., h's and you names on them. The ow shouldn't be on any cards that are tied to you. You can do a credit report search on yourself to see what is in your name. In fact, I would suggest you do that. There are some free ones out there for you to access once a year. You can also do one on your h since you know the name of your mortgage company and the dollar amount you pay each month. At least if you do the search and get the report, you'll know exactly what the true debt is.

Just my two cents for the day.

I am really scared to see what H owes. Am I tied to his credit as long as we are married?? I never got disclosure for the other credit cards he has in his name. But I was under the impression that as long as we are married, I am responsible for all his debt if she should forfeit on the payments. We live in a marital property state. For instance, should he claim bankruptcy, the banks can come after me to collect even if my name isn't on the titles or on the credit cards. I believe this is the case.

He has just made a huge mess of his life. Fortunately, I am not going to let him make a mess of my life, or my kids' life. I am making sure of that.

WH

WH,
Do the credit reports so that you know exactly what he has out there. A report for you should only show what is in both names. His separate credit cards will not show up on a report for just yourself (at least that's what I found out when I did one for myself many years ago).

I think you need to look into the credit cards for bankruptcy. When my xh's wife (ow) filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy several years ago, they only went after the cards with her name on them because she filed in her name only. This would include any outstanding debt on vehicles that are in his name only, etc.

You will need to share your concerns w/your lawyer, but do the reports and you can actually print them off from your home printer. Don't be afraid to do this...knowledge is power and you need to know just what exactly he owes, especially when it comes to the home and any joint account that your name is on.