Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Which is the truth?

Thanks so much for the advice! I have read busting, and will try to get the remedy.

I'm in such a bad place right now.I went to a wedding last night. It was awful. I mean, it was beautiful and special but for me it was the most painful night I've had in months. How could my husband do this? How can he walk around like the 8 years we spent together meant nothing? How can he barely see our DD? It's like our life was worthless and miserable to him. I can't stop crying and I don't even know how to walk through this anymore. I know God is with me, I do. I know he can redeem this even though every person has told me to give up. I just want to stop hurting. I just want my life, my husband, my best friend back. I ran out of the reception crying and I've been a disaster since. This journey feels never ending. This morning I picked up D from H. I looked at him for a long minute and told him I missed him. He said he kind of missed me too. I then said I loved him and said I didn't expect it in return. He said he'll always love me. And now he's at a wedding as OW's date. I feel so broken. So sad. Like there's no hope, though there always is with God. Just feels like too little too late. And like even if I change he still doesn't want the family life.

FLS, couple of things come to mind here:

1) I'm sorry you are hurting....but you will get thru this. Believe it, and then make it happen.

2) You are doing an awful lot of mind reading. Not only is it not helpful, it's going to drive you crazy. Let go of that. You cannot know what H is thinking or feeling, and frankly, he's probably more confused than you.

3) As I read your post above, the question I had was "Do you think that is attractive to your H?" Early in the process, I think we all let our codependency override our good sense, and the side effect is, it's not attractive at all. Keep that in mind when you are around H. It will be hard right now, until you start to detach and get back to being you, but as is sometimes said around here, it's ok to "fake it until you can make it."

4) What are you working on for you? What are you doing to make yourself the W only a fool would leave?

5) How's your GAL? It's extremely important at this point in the game for your own sanity. Get out, do things you've always wanted to, meet new people, work out, etc.

Hang in there.

I can't stress to you enough how important GAL'ing is. I believe this is the one main thing that made my H see me in the old light he used to see me in. They start to second guess...question themselves...miss the woman be fell in love with. I've been where you are not once but a few times. I have felt that gut wrenching pain. Please believe me it does get better. I'm still working on myself...as my H just dropped bomb #2 in four years a few weekend ago. This time I handled it much better and gave him his space and GAL'd like nobody's business. There were still a few things I had to tweak and still have to as im not out of the line of fire het...but please listen to the veterans and what they tell you. I have made it through this twice. They really are right...and you will be ok. Keep your chin up:)

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}