Oh good grief. Forget the last questions. H is truly living in a surreal place right now. He hacked into one of my social networking accounts and saw messages between me and an ex from long ago. I had told H about these messages and said ex contacted me and after a few pleasantries over a few weeks I asked him not to contact me anymore. Apparently H didn't read content and saw length and now is trying to say I'm a liar, despite the fact that he's been having EA for months, I disclosed this to him, and even told ex not to contact me as I was commited to marriage. I told him I needed to get off the phone as we were clearly not seeing eye to eye. He then texted me all of this:
"Ok...do what you're gonna do..I'm sorry..I'm done. Why do you care (about us)? If it's only for D then that's not fair to you. Like, there's no way you want to be with me. Everyone's telling you how awful I am and you know yourself I am. I'm a selfish jerk. I know what I've done and how I am..so why do you act like you want to make it work still? I want to be nice to you and have a good relationship for D. I know you're hurting...I only hope we can someday."
What the heck is all that? Do I even respond? Why does he say "there's no way you want to be with me" when he clearly knows I do and even says so himself in the next line??
Me: 26 H: 28 T:8 M:5 D:2 BD:4/1/13 Separated 6/6/13 Filed separation 6/21/13 Waiting for D papers to be served, H says filed
Sounds like typical WAW nonsense. My advice would be to not respond, but I'm very new to the "communicating with the WAS" phase, so take that with a grain of salt.
My personal opinion do not mention to him about him going to a wedding with a female. Right now, he can care less what matters to you. You are wasting your time.
Next time he wants to switch weekends, don't.
Do not mention your anniversary to him at all. I did and my husband could have cared less and that hurt me even more. It's not worth it right now.
Honestly, after his hacking my account and that string of messages he sent (the post after the questions one) I don't feel a need to address any of them. Right now I just feel irritated and violated and confused as to why he would say the things he did.
Me: 26 H: 28 T:8 M:5 D:2 BD:4/1/13 Separated 6/6/13 Filed separation 6/21/13 Waiting for D papers to be served, H says filed
He has no right to ask you anything about your ex or any other male friend. He gave that right up when he walked out. Don't let him control that part of your life. If you want to talk to a male friend, then do it. He wants to go out and sow his oats but he wants you at home waiting. NOPE! Not going to happen.
My H was involved with his coworker and that was okay (not to me) but one day he was over and I received a text message from a male friend and he saw it and asked who is so and so. I said a friend. After that he started to come around and chasing me again. Because he thought he was going to lose me. I just laughed on the inside.
Oh good grief. Forget the last questions. H is truly living in a surreal place right now. He hacked into one of my social networking accounts and saw messages between me and an ex from long ago. I had told H about these messages and said ex contacted me and after a few pleasantries over a few weeks I asked him not to contact me anymore. Apparently H didn't read content and saw length and now is trying to say I'm a liar, despite the fact that he's been having EA for months, I disclosed this to him, and even told ex not to contact me as I was commited to marriage. I told him I needed to get off the phone as we were clearly not seeing eye to eye. He then texted me all of this:
"Ok...do what you're gonna do..I'm sorry..I'm done. Why do you care (about us)? If it's only for D then that's not fair to you. Like, there's no way you want to be with me. Everyone's telling you how awful I am and you know yourself I am. I'm a selfish jerk. I know what I've done and how I am..so why do you act like you want to make it work still? I want to be nice to you and have a good relationship for D. I know you're hurting...I only hope we can someday."
What the heck is all that? Do I even respond? Why does he say "there's no way you want to be with me" when he clearly knows I do and even says so himself in the next line??
So he can justify his actions to him and his mistress and he can feel better about things. When my H was having his EA two years ago but before we officially separated and before I found out, he actually told me that `I should see other people` (like we`re 20 in college and dating!). Well, thanks for that -- I never wanted or asked to see other people. It was because he was already `seeing` somebody behind my back ...
Me 35 H 34 DS- newborn 8/13 T 8.5 M 7 H's EA - 10/11 INILWY 5/13 DBing 6/13 Don't know WTF to do 1/14
So do I refute what he said then so that he can't justify his actions? Do I say that I do have hope for our marriage and remember the man he used to be? I don't want to give him any outs and a little accountability would be nice. At the same time, one of his biggest things has always been that he didn't feel like I truly loved or even liked him. I don't want to reinforce that by allowing him to think that I only want to stay together for D, or don't really want to make it work.
Me: 26 H: 28 T:8 M:5 D:2 BD:4/1/13 Separated 6/6/13 Filed separation 6/21/13 Waiting for D papers to be served, H says filed
I've been thinking about what you sent yesterday. I'm sorry that you feel my only intention to make things work is for D's sake, rather than out of love for you. It was out of my commitment to our marriage that I asked ex to stop communicating with me, even though this was a purely platonic and very limited relationship.
Me: 26 H: 28 T:8 M:5 D:2 BD:4/1/13 Separated 6/6/13 Filed separation 6/21/13 Waiting for D papers to be served, H says filed
