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She has retained an attourney 2 weeks ago. Does that change any of your thoughts on this?

Thanks for the quick reply.

Im emotionally fried right now.

BKS

So, it still doesn't change the fact you need to DB and detach.

Its gonna take time, months, for a divorce to reach your hand. You still have time. Theres plenty of stories of success from even deeper/darker stories. But you have to have it be about you, and your changes. Not her, and her waffling, which is coming if you do YOUR work. Make yourself the man would be crazy to leave. I have an aunt that's been married to the same man 6x, no kidding, 6 damn times. If that don't tell you its never too late, nothing will.

Thanks Thumper, LeftCoast and SISH,

I need all the positive feedback I can get right now.

I noticed immediately a change in her demeanor since she spoke of the D this afternoon. She seems to be very relieved to have got that off her chest.

She has actually been pleasant to be around. She said as long as I don't take her civility to mean that there is still a chance, she wants to be civil.

She even said that she would to the movies with the kids and me tomorrow, as long as I don't read into it. She was actually the very much like the woman I married 10 years ago.

Thumper,

Does your signatures last line mean that your W wants a D?

Yup I just got same speech you did, just last week. Things had been going pretty good for the last month or two. In my case, im pretty sure theres an old high school sweetheart texting her like crazy trying to convince her its over, and come back to him.

Plus I have a very gay man next door neighbor, and he also works with my wife, he's 15 years younger, telling her to have a blast with life, you don't need to be married, and don't worry about your kids, they'll be resilent.

Also since we all work together basically, I've had several other workers come over and tell me the things he's been saying. Things only him, myself and my wife could know. So if and when my divorce goes thru, he's the only person I can take my frustrations out on. If he's gonna talk crap, he better be able to back it up. I'm a former college football player, and own a construction co. so i'm no weakling.

"She even said that she would to the movies with the kids and me tomorrow, as long as I don't read into it. She was actually the very much like the woman I married 10 years ago."

Stop inviting her to things. Now YOU start to be in the driver's seat.

Can you explain more about what was discussed? I thought she was at least pretending to work on the M. What happened?

I have nothing against gay people in general. However, gay men in particular are not so good for women in crisis. That is just,my opinion from experience.

My wife has a heard of gay male friends and also tens of straight friebds (guys and gals). Since BD, the only friends of hers left are the gay guys!

Everyone else must have either disagreed with what she is doing, or distanced due to being uncomfortable, or likeing me, or some other reason.

But the gay guys are giving her support, one thousand percent!

The funny thing is, back in our happy days my wife used to say that she would not recommend straight people get relationship advice from gay men because she thought that essentially they had the b$tchiness if a woman and the unfaithfulness if men combined into one hot mess...

Oh how things change...

SM34, I don't even know what to say about that last comment of yours.

Im just saying that as a couple, we had MANY gay friends and they came to our wedding, her baby shower, my daughters bday parties etc..

If everyone seems to be ditching my wife because of her actions, except for this group of folks, then to me that indicates that pethaps they may not share the same views on marriage.

Or, maybe I should clarify what I mean. When you are faced with the challenges that gay folks face in our society in order to be accepted, I think at some point you may not care if you are accepted any more.

So as a result, that group is obviously going to be more accepting of someone who is deviating from societal norms.

But this is just all my opinion. Some of her gay friends are really cool guys and ive hung out with them plenty if times. I just think that it seems they are not challenging my wife to take a good look at what she is doing, as,much as her other friends seem to be.

I could be wrong. Thats just what ive sensed in my sitch.