Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers lost and alone now

Kelela,

This is not, to my knowledge, a "Christian" website. Or at the least, not a "Christian only" forum. I am sorry if you feel some on here bashed your faith. Nobody has the right to judge how you choose to worship. That is DEFINITELY NOT what should be happening on DB.

Church can be a wonderful thing. It also can be not-so-great. I am sorry you had a bad experience. One thing church can serve as is a place of support, and there is no cost involved, so it may be something for you to consider. But you can certainly "believe in him on my own", and nobody has the right to tell you other wise. Judge not, that ye be not judged. Mathew 7:1

I too have taken breaks from DB and understand if you feel you need one. Dealing with the heartache of a broken marriage is overwhelming. But please don't give up on DB altogether. It can be a source of support and community.

One last thing. In the bottom right hand corner of each post there is a "Notify" button. If you click that, the forum administrators are notified that the post is inappropriate. I encourage you to take a stand for yourself Kelela. I know doing so would be 180 for you.

I am hoping to hear from you again soon. ~~ Peace ~~

I hope you're not referring to my posts miz, I didn't mean any harm. I had no intentions of bible bashing and I'm sorry if I did this.
I would hate the fact that I've upset someone and that my post will be notified. I am generally a kind, gentle person who wouldn't hurt a fly.

180,

Your good intentions show through your posts.

I happen to know K in the "real world" and she refers to you as the "uk person who is trying to help me", so no worries.

My concern is that through the last few posts K did feel intimidated and told me she doesn't plan to post here anymore. I personally feel this forum could be of great help to her and hope she changes her mind. I posted on her thread to show her some support and to let her know about the "notify" option. I have not "notified" for her because I hope she will decide on her own, and do so if she wants.

My fondest hope for K is that she 180s and begins to take care of herself, both here and in the real world.

She told me she had posted an "angry" post. Lol, she gave me the impression it was downright nasty. Imagine my surprise to read her most recent post... if that's as "nasty" as you can get, well, oh my. LOL

But K, it is NOT nasty or wrong to stand up for yourself. It is good and right to say "I feel hurt by what you said. I feel you crossed a line."

Take care.

Glad K has got a friend that is looking out for her K I am so sorry if I upset you and I was wrong to say those things to you.

180
I'm not mad at you at all you have been there for me and trying to help to move on. I just need to learn how to just move on. I think I will be able to really move on once H moves out and I will be able to start living again. Every time we are home together I just want to keep talking about us getting back together but I don't do it. It just hurts so bad that he is so close but he is still far away and it doesn't help when OW keeps texting and calling ever second of the time. I just tune it out or I go into another room when the texting or calling happens. I just dont understand why in order for me to believe in the heavenly father I have to attend church services. Anyway I just wanted to let you know that I'm not mad at you you have been a real big help to me I just need to stop and figure my life out. And I'm still having a hard time with that. Thank you 180 and I will be back on soon after H moves out to Update my situation with you. Ttyl 180.

Glad to hear I've not been too hard on you I think it's a good idea at the moment to stay out of his way, either going into another room or going out for the evening. I know what you mean about being around him and wanting him to stay and be a family again. I do that all the time when H is about. That's the hardest part about 180 is staying away from them when they are in the same house as you. My H follows me around the house and on occasions so have I. I hope I get the 180ing soon, I keep missing bits out, lol.

Hello 180
I need your advice I hope you get this before I get off of work today. Tomorrow is H birthday and he just sent me a text saying that he told MIL that myself and our boys will be over to her house for his birthday dinner tonight. (Which I figuring he will be spending his actually birthday with OW tomorrow night ) my question to you is I don't understand why he had just up and invited me to his birthday dinner at MIL house tonight? I'm trying so hard to let him go and he does things like this. I guess I can go for a little bit then head home. I'm trying to spending as little time around him or trying not to be around him at all. Due to the fact he will be moving out in about 10 days. This way it will be easier for me to get use to not having him around. I hope to hear from you thank you have a great day.

Hi K, Nice to see you on here Wasn't it your H that has only told his mum half of what's going on? If it was then I think he asked you because he wants you to be there for his mum's sake.
Go along and be happy and pleasant In Sandi's rules it says to accept invitations from him, but don't accept every one and don't cancel other arrangements that you may have made.
Don't worry too much about it either. Don't worry about what time you're going, what time you're going to leave, etc. Just play it by ear. There'll be plenty of other people there for you to talk to by the sounds of it and you won't have to spend all your time in his company.
Don't follow your H around like a lap dog, let him approach you if he wants to talk to you. Spend your time having fun with your kids and talking to friends and family. If he speaks to you or engages in conversation, then stop and talk to him.
That's all the advice I can think of at the mo Thanks for asking me, I'm honoured that you've asked my advice

180 he actually finally told MIL the whole story about his affair with OW and she is not very happy about the whole situation. MIL told me that this doesn't matter I will be always be part of The family and if I every need anything she will try to help me out. She is not very happy with your son and what he is doing to our family. Well that is another story. I think its just MIL, our boys and H and I that will be there. But I will take your advice and be pleasant with H. Thank you

Hope you have a nice time Stay cool and thanks for listening to my advice