Been doing a lot of read up on books. Just finished the book called No more Mr Nice Guy. It's really a good read imo. It helped to put me on the path of being a better person. Currently reading two books, Hope for the seperated and love must be tough.
Anyone have advice on validating? Is there any book or website that i can read up on? I feel that I am still weak in validating communication with my frens. I hope to be able to master it slowly.
It seemed that I am able to just feel my sad feelings and turned it into PMA later on this morning. I have no idea when i had the strength to do this but i'm quite surprise with myself.
Just got a new haircut today with a new hair color. That's about it for this weekend of mine. Can't wait for tomorrow as I've joined a meetup group in my area, we are going to be playing boardgames
And then i went backsliding again! I really hate myself for thinking of my wife. Hoping that she will be with me when meeting new people. I need to break this co dependency. Although i recovered myself from the thoughts, it still means that i'm not detached enough.
I taking on the motto, faking it until i become it. I need to be positive every single day no matter what happens. Finally have the courage to block my W off my facebook news feed. She seemed to be having a great time without me being around. Posting happy status. She tend to mix in various comments on how love should be and such. I decided to remove her from my news feed because her status seemed to make me feel sad. Am I really that bad to be with? Am I really the one that didn't bring anything to the marriage?
Yes I understand i need to GAL a lot more. Even with GAL, i still think of her for even that one fraction of the second, that brings everything down for me.
Another week ahead for me to become a better me it seemed. Still working on validating others in conversation.
Finally have the courage to block my W off my facebook news feed. She seemed to be having a great time without me being around. Posting happy status. She tend to mix in various comments on how love should be and such. I decided to remove her from my news feed because her status seemed to make me feel sad.
Why would you want to remove her feeds? I see my W everyday and i don't think she's happy. My W have been posting the same type of messages on fb, mostly on 'growing old together' bits. Don't really know what's on their mind. They may as well are sending subtle 'messages' to us. I don't respond to any of those posting other than the ones that involves my kids. The thing is she's started to show more positive attitude towards me. I think you should just hang on a little more, things may turn around for the better.
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
Why would you want to remove her feeds? I see my W everyday and i don't think she's happy. My W have been posting the same type of messages on fb, mostly on 'growing old together' bits. Don't really know what's on their mind. They may as well are sending subtle 'messages' to us. I don't respond to any of those posting other than the ones that involves my kids. The thing is she's started to show more positive attitude towards me. I think you should just hang on a little more, things may turn around for the better.
I just don't feel comfortable seeing her feeds. It makes me feel as though i was a mistake in her life. It makes me backslide evenmore whenever i see her feeds. I do not want to backslide that often tho.
Thanks for checking in on me planet, i wish you all the best too.
I'm wonder what does "Going Dark" actually means now. My W complained that i do not make the initiative most of the time before the BD. Yet now she request that i leave her alone. However i do know that she is not comfortable talking to me cause i will remind her of her pain in the past. Do i even do a 180s on not making the initiative now?
I'm really confused on what I have to do now except working on myself and keep reading self help books.
You're right; just keep working on yourself! Nice job on the new haircut and color - I had the same done a few weeks ago and it was a nice little change that made me feel good. Also, the meetup group you joined sounds fun - I love boardgames! And your W is probably not as happy as her FB statuses make it sound. I've seen in lots of threads on here of WAS later telling the LBS that they thought leaving would fix their issues and make them happy and it did not (even if they were saying it did to other people). Best wishes!
Me: 27 H: 27 Together: 11, M: 3 S 2 BD: 06/24/13 Living together H: EA - unknown current status Read: DB, 5LL (slowly reading DR) Back and forth we go...
You're right; just keep working on yourself! Nice job on the new haircut and color - I had the same done a few weeks ago and it was a nice little change that made me feel good. Also, the meetup group you joined sounds fun - I love boardgames! And your W is probably not as happy as her FB statuses make it sound. I've seen in lots of threads on here of WAS later telling the LBS that they thought leaving would fix their issues and make them happy and it did not (even if they were saying it did to other people). Best wishes!
Thanks chl, i do indeed need to keep working on myself. I agree with you having that little change to our hair make us feel good. Have you tried your local meetup groups see if there's any boardgames meet up maybe you can even add that to your GAL activities I'm not too sure whether my W is happy or not but what i do know is that i hae to control my own feelings when i see those status. I know this makes me sound like a jerk but i really do hope that she is not happy and will miss me even for 1 second. I did see one status of my W on fb saying that she know that running is not a good choice but that is her only option now. I have no idea whether it's relating to me or not but it was after me sending her a message (mind reading i know!)
