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Enjoy the trip, BF. It's better to disconnect from everything anyway!
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I hope you're having fun with no MLC disturbances messing up your brain are your mutual friends around?

Hey Bright,

You already know I am a Floyd fan. I find I meditate to Comfortably Numb and picture xSO receding....

I think it is very positive that your H is contacting you. Don't worry about the whys of it. Keep your expectations at zero and enjoy that he is contacting you. Whatever the reason, he has to want to contact you in order to actually do it. My xSO said all the time, ILY and I want you in my life - and where is he? Heaven only knows. Your H has to make time for you with his actions and that my friend, is positive steps!

I sure hope you are enjoying your vacation and wish I was with you!

Thanks Tori, Linda and Portia. I did have a good mini vacation. Actually it was better than I expected. There were only a couple of times when I felt sad. The rest of the time was very peaceful and relaxing.

We’ve met with our mutual friends a few times. They had dinner for us at their house and we went out one night. There were no conversations about my H, since I had my sister and her son with me all the time. So, I didn’t get any news our mutual friends might know. Honestly, I was not even looking for that. The only conversation we had was about a group of people my H used to socialize while he was in our vacation home. Our mutual friends try to avoid this group, since there is always lots of gossip. Wow, it was kind of an eye opening for me that our mutual friends have so low opinion about these people. They are normally very friendly with everybody. I thought that my H fell so low in his choice of people to be friends with. I pointed out some of his women friends to my sister while we were at the pool, and she said that she was lost and didn’t understand my H at all. She said that there is no comparison between these women and me, and she doesn’t understand what my H is trying to find.

Portia, thanks for encouraging words. After I came back from my mini vacation, I have some mixed feelings about the contact with my H. I was so detached and enjoyed myself. I want to maintain this condition for some time. I thought there was some kind of change in my H with all these contacts. I haven’t heard from him for a few days (obviously I was away during this time), and I start to think that it was not significant at all. Oh well, need to get rid of these negative thoughts and keep a positive outlook into the future.

Welcome back Bright! I'm glad you had a relaxing vacation! You sound like you're mentally in a good place -- don't let those bad feelings back in. 

Your sister's comments about your h's female friends was interesting. I've been learning on this forum that people in MLC do NOT pick the sort of OP you'd expect at all! Of course there was no comparison to fabulous you!!

Did you end up driving your h's car? Had he made any changes to your vacation home? Does he know you're back?

Bright,

Welcome back!

The best thing about all of this is that no matter the outcome of our relationships we will be fine. Not the same fine but then everything in life is a compromise.

Nothing is perfect. We either get the pleasure of having the whole bed to ourselves or the pleasure of a person's company that we loved so much. Knowing that life will be what I make it always makes me feel better. It has taken a long time to get here but I never thought I would, so that is a start!

I see a new beginning with the contact your H is initiating. Have you thought of dropping him a quick line in a couple of days to let him know you are home? Totally up to you! And isn't that great?

Thanks, Linda and Portia.

I’ve been told by all my friends that it will be very hard for my H to find somebody who is even comparable to me. He told me himself that I was the best thing that ever happened to him. I guess he is looking for something even better. I don’t think it is possible, unless he makes some major changes in himself and puts a lot of effort into the R. Right now I don’t see it happening. He wants an effortless and “harmonious” relationship without too much work.

I did drive H’s car, since my car was in the shop. I told him about it and he had no problems with it. On the opposite, it sounded that he was happy about it. I was wondering what he was thinking about me showing up in his car in our vacation home place and what all his friends would be thinking. He probably told them that we are best friends, hehe. One of his women friends over there behaved kind of weird towards me. She behaved like she didn’t know who I was, just a visitor. My GF over there (our mutual friend) told me that this woman was probably jealous about me showing up there and threatening her “queen of the pool” status. I know she became “best” friends with H in the last few months. But, she has a boyfriend or SO. S, I don’t understand the behavior…

H doesn’t know I’m back. I don’t remember if I told him when I would be back. When we spoke on the phone before I went to my mini vacation, he asked me to let him know the status of the water leaks repair in the condo. I though “WTH, don’t you talk to our mutual friend, who is taking care of this kind of stuff for you?” I didn’t say anything. I’m not going to call him or text him to let him know that I’m back and report on the condo. If he calls, I will give him the information. But, I don’t feel like I want to contact him first.

Portia, thanks for the positive thought about “new beginning”. It could very well be, but I think it will take more time. I think I’m going to stick to my NC behavior. I feel better this way. If H really wants to reconnect, he will find the way. If not, I’m just continuing to move forward. This is how feel today. It might change later. Will see.

I remember reading early on when I came to these forums that the OP is almost always a step down from the LBS. And the more I've read the more I believe that to be true. The #1 selling point of the OP is this- they are not the LBS. The LBS can't compete with that because they are... well, the LBS! The LBS becomes the scapegoat for every bad thing that has ever happened, is happening and ever will happen to the WAS. Getting the LBS out of their life becomes the WAS's one and only perceived road to happiness. So OP can have warts, a pegleg and an eyepatch, but they "win" because they are not the black hole of negative energy that the WAS thinks the LBS is, LOL! Many WAS's do eventually come to realize they've rewritten history and that they've heaped a lot of undeserved blame on the LBS, but it takes a lot of time and space for them to get there. That's why we always say the LBS has to make themselves into the spouse only a fool would leave, because when the WAS looks back they have to see a LBS that's so perfect that they have no choice but to second-guess why they blamed them for everything.

"The #1 selling point of the OP is this- they are not the LBS. The LBS can't compete with that because they are... well, the LBS! The LBS becomes the scapegoat for every bad thing that has ever happened, is happening and ever will happen to the WAS. Get ting the LBS out of their life becomes the WAS's one and only perceived road to happiness. So OP can have warts, a pegleg and an eyepatch, but they "win" because they are not the black hole of negative energy that the WAS thinks the LBS is, LOL!"

well AnotherStander, this is encouraging "The winner takes it all..."