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Linda,
If I recall, they don't put ice in your tea or sodas. I had to specifically request ice for my tea when I was there. You have to make time for the "Tea" time. Love those little watercress sandwiches and they have some really good potato and leek soup over ther

Oh, Linda - and when you do ask for ice, they'll probably comment on you being a Yank. LOL.

I agree with Snodderly about tea time. I am a huge fan of "salad" and cucumber sandwiches. Yummy! Don't forget a pastry or scone and then walk it all off after you chow down carbs.

One of my favorite memories is taking the Jack the Ripper tour on a Friday night with my mom and sister. I've heard it's not as good now, but it was loads of fun way back when.

Cheerio!

Betsey

Linda, I think you did the right thing telling you S27 about your H’s condition. I hope your son will be more supportive of you. Does your H communicate with your sons at all? I don’t remember if you posted this already, did your sons ask him about his trip?

I agree you should not contact H about his arrival to Russia. It will only give him more freedom to cake eat again. I think there should be some consequences (punishment) for your H after going to this trip. But it is hard to figure out how to do it and at the same time have the road home paved smooth. I hope that you will know the answer by that time.

Hey Linda!

Interesting stuff happening over in your tiki-hut!

It won't be like when he disappeared with RT the first time, I"ll know where he is. I wonder if he will contact me to let me know he arrived safely etc. I don't think I should contact him unless I hear from him first.

If and when he ever does go to Russia, don't initiate any contacts with H. If he does let you know he's arrived in Russia, you can say "H, thanks for letting me know you've arrived safely. Take care. Linda" Then let him go. He needs to experience the hard stuff firsthand for himself since he's raring to go and get away. You will not be there to swoop down and 'rescue' him from the mess of his OWN making while in Russia. Then he'll have no one to blame but himself. I think the trip will truly open H's eyes in ways that no one can. And it'll be good in an odd way.

Yesterday S27 asked me what is wrong with his dad. I asked him what he means, and he said that his personality has completely changed. He has dropped all of his friends, and does not even really ever see or talk to his family anymore. He only talks to RT every day. He does not even talk to his other language exchange partners on skype just RT. He is crabby and does not seem to be interested in anything anymore. He doesn't have any hobbies anymore. You will be talking with him, and he just wanders away. Never exercises. Eats strange food. He used to be very involved in the church and now won't go and has a girl friend.

Geez... the MLCer actually has the gumption to think that no one notices this behavior??!! HEEEELLLLLLOO Mr. ET!!


H just came home. I am in my office in the basement, and started to go upstairs to say hello, then thought about me hanging on to his pants leg, him dragging me along, and went back downstairs. I could hear him climb the stairs to his bedroom any, skype time.

Excellent self-awareness on your part, sweetie! You're getting the hang of this....yay!

Hi Linda. I responded to you over on my thread but I came over to catch up on yours. Your S27 is not stupid. They are so delusional. My h thinks everyone thinks I'm the one who is nuts but when I talked to some of them at the wedding they all said "what is wrong with h?"

I wonder if/when this is all over will they see any of this? Will anyone tell them "hey glad to have you back?" lol

Hey I agree too. Don't contact him if he does go to Russia. Why should he have the pleasure to talk to you while he is with RT? If he does call you I would end the call first. Pleasant but don't talk long. I wouldn't let him think this is getting to you.

Thanks for your advice about communicating with my H when he's in Russia with the Tramp, Bright, Wonka and Complicated.

Wonka wrote "If and when he ever does go to Russia, don't initiate any contacts with H. If he does let you know he's arrived in Russia, you can say "H, thanks for letting me know you've arrived safely. Take care. Linda" Then let him go. He needs to experience the hard stuff firsthand for himself since he's raring to go and get away. You will not be there to swoop down and 'rescue' him from the mess of his OWN making while in Russia. Then he'll have no one to blame but himself. I think the trip will truly open H's eyes in ways that no one can. And it'll be good in an odd way." 

I wasn't considering the possibility of him encountering a mess at all Wonka, but rather that RT will orchestrate a wonderful, exciting, sensual visit. That's what I would do if my lover was coming for an extended visit. Especially if I was trying to pry him out of the comfort of his marriage and into divorce court. 

I plan to have a session with Chuck just before he goes, and LOTS with my IC too, but agree that no contact is the way to go with this. I expect he'll text to let me know he arrived safely at least, although who knows if he will even remember he has a wife once he arrives in fantasy land. Thanks for the script to respond, Wonka, I'll add it to my file! 

But what about the opposite....should I initiate contact to let him know I arrived in London safely? To rub it in  

I won't be happy he's there, but will try to block out mental pictures of him and RT in their little love nest, and enjoy the peace and solitude. No tension, none of that walking-on-eggshell  feeling. I think! -- and hope. I guess I won't know until the time comes. 

He said he was getting nervous that his visa would be denied if he just applied in the normal way (submit his visa application with the fake hotel invitation) so he decided to use a service the fraudulant hotel invitation company offers, to submit the application on his behalf. It is supposed to take up to 12 weeks to receive the visa, and his plane takes off in 6 weeks. With or without him!

Linda,
The mess that Wonka was referring to is: "RT will orchestrate a wonderful, exciting, sensual visit. That's what I would do if my lover was coming for an extended visit." I would call this mess because it is a tangled web of deception and he will need to experience it and figure it out w/o your help, if and when the time comes. Of course, I know you now are aware that you can't rescue him.

As for letting him know that you have landed in London safely...I would only do it if he asks you to...otherwise, I'd go on my merry way and enjoy myself.

Your h should be nervous about his visa. There is a huge difference between 6 weeks for the flight and 12 weeks for the possible visa. You never know...someone could flag it as being an illegal entry along the way. One just never knows about such activities and if they are real or a "sting operation" set up to catch people who are crazy enough to use this service.

As for you...think about your trip and know that you are going to have a great time.

Linda, the visa is not your problem. You just worry about having a great time in London. I wouldn't let him know you landed either unless he asks you.

And like Wonka said, everything that will be happening with him will be a natural consequence of his own making. Those are the best kind. Although I have to admit, my h still finds a way to blame even those on me. So be prepared for that too.

HI LINDA -

I see you have soooo much going on in your thread- i have not time to read thru- maybe some day next week when in fla if my brain settles down.

in twirl here paid all mom's bills, went to llook for new teeth this a.m. early & found them (a good sign?) been doing her junk til now (2 pm) and need to do my own a bit- own bills, tally her checking & my own- clean a bit- pack , etc. just alot. all got shoved aside with teeth debacle last week. - leaving town in a day - lots to pack, do, etc.

oh man- anyway- just wanted to say hi and hope you're doing okay. this business of our h and their ow really drives me insane. today i don't have room in my brain for hm and his crappola-

his aunt is out of icu- and off breathing tube so that's something. what eexactly i don't know. my mom is spinning a bit since i'm leaving town- cross between being her usual wiseguy - what me, i don't need no one self and needy .

i know it worries her - thank God she wasn't offensive this a.m\

still need to try and nail someone to visit her now or then- or get her other two stinking daughters to pick up the slack from the visiting companion gal.

oh well- wanted to check in- no time now to be here but miss you guys- no idea how this will go- fla, etc. feel so anxious this minute i could just barf - maybe it's the heat?

who knows, i need to chill a bit- too early for wine. oh well huh? hope you're okay- will report in when i get to fla.

take care xxoo

Oh sometimes I despise my H. He was laying on the couch watching TV and I said goodnight. He reached out his hand to me and when I reached out to take it, he picked up the remote control and tried to shake my hand with it instead of touching me with his skIn. He had a smirk on his face. I just turned and walked away. It's just a small thing in the overall scheme of MLC, but I am so sick pf being treated like the invisible woman, like a pariah. I am so sick of him. 

I'm not worried about his visa Complicated, I was just mentioning that he said he is now afraid it won't arrive in time. He procrastinated too long getting the phptos taken, which is why he decided to go with the shady company. They don't guarantee they will get his application accepted, but apparently claim to have some dealings with the embassy, probably underhanded dealings which might  involve bribes and bottles of vodka.

Oh well, as you and Snodderly say, he'll have live with the consequences of his own actions. I'll be sitting on the curb chowing down on popcorn, observing with interest. It's the kind with cheddar cheese!