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H told his mom a little info about our situation and that we are heading for a separation he told her that he loves me but not in love with me. She had called me and we talked a little I told her that we are working on it I don't know where it will end up at. MIL is heart broken she doesn't want us to split I told her that we are working on it. And I didn't tell her that her son is cheating on me with OW. Oh how I really wanted to tell her that her son is a cheater. But I just couldn't do it. She told me no matter what happens she will be here to help me out with anything I need since I don't have any family members close to me. And she hopes that I will still think of her as my family if we can't work things out. I told her that I would like that and I promise not to keep my boys away from her she will see them as much as she wants.

Some days I feel like I live on a desert island. I live just outside if town part of my back yard is a corn field for one of the farmers then up the road from me there are two cow farms. So doing the summer its not a pleasant smell. But I love it out here its very peaceful and quit. I would want to move back to the city part. I will have to check out some sites to see if there are support groups in my area.

Kelela, just a word of warning about your mum in law, be careful what you say to her. Don't talk about your H and you in front of her. She is his mum, however much you got on with her before. Talk instead about what you and the boys have been doing, where have you been, etc. Make your life sound as interesting as possible, the sort of life that will make your ex feel like he wants a part in it.
Any information you do tell her, she's bound to pass it on to her son. I speak from experience when I say this. My mum in law was more like a mum to me until we split and then she didn't want to talk to me about any of our relationship problems. Since my H said he wanted to divorce, I hardy talk to her. I know that she'll pass anything onto my H, so I try to be as upbeat as I can. I don't ring her anymore, she will ring me occasionally just to catch up. I won't stop my son from seeing her though.
I hope you can find some more things to do in the nearest town. Sometimes they have social events on at your local church, which you don't have to go to church to attend. No-one will force you to go to church either, they need all the support they can get for fundraising events, etc. Keep us updated

OK I will keep that in mind when I speak to MIL I usually don't talk to her unless in have too. She watches the boys when in have work at night. I don't know what H schedule is cause he is hardly ever home now so I have to have MIL help me watch the boys cause he is either at work or with OW. Its pretty sad when all of his free time is spent on OW instead of his own sons. I feel so bad for them cause H is never around for them if he is home he spends little to ko time with them due to OW constantly texting H every second of the day. Or calling him every second of the day taking up all his time so he is not spending time with our sons. I so wish he would just wake up and see what he is doing our family. Yes I know it will be a looooong time before he realize what he is doing. Or it may never happen. I know my boys are not happy about this situation so I tell them that daddy has a lot of things on his mind and one day he will be at peace with himself and hopefully he will come back to our family.

Hi "K"

Just checking in.

You actually sound just a tiny bit more stable of late. This doesn't mean you are in the free and clear, but it might mean you are finding your own groove.

I was glad to see your interest in different GALs! That is a very very positive thing. Good for you to be thinking thinking thinking. I know your funds are limited and that the area you live in isn't overflowing with opportunities. But none of that stops you from dreaming, or from setting goals.

Sending you peace waves ~~~~~ !

Hi K
Men don't think about their sons when they are with the OW. It's just a fantasy, it won't last! Just let it ride for now, eventually they will want to see them more and more. I know that's what it's been like with my H, he wants to spend more time with his son now, which is good
I'm glad you're taking on board what I've said about your MIL I thought you might've said but she's not like that. I didn't think my MIL was like that either! It's good that she's still looking after your boys and they get a chance to spend with other family members.
Miz, that was some really lovely words you said to K, especially the peace waves

I just learned today the H had told the boys that we maybe separating and he maybe moving out but he never told them when this will be. Now I'm really starting to go to the low emotions once again. I should have known it is coming soon when he does move out for good. I don't know if I will be strong enough to do it its been 13 years since I have been on my own but 13 years ago I didn't have two boys to take care of. I'm really starting to get really scared and I'm about to panic and I know when H is around I need to be Happy even tho I will be dying in side. And I know that affairs never do last but some times they do. I'm trying really hard to breath here; will I'm going to get off and spend some time with my boys before I have to go to bed I have a 9 hour shift tomorrow.

Men don't think about anything other than OW when they are with them. Mine actually told me one day that he had to go see her because her son needed him to do something for him. Geez, he couldn't be bothered to attend his own son's school presentation, but had to run to the OW to do something for her son. And where is OW's son's dad during this???

One thing I've found is there's plenty of support here from both vets and newbies. You just need to stay strong for yourself and your boys.

Right now the OW has power over him, but statistics say that most affairs end within 6 months to 2 years - I can only hope it doesn't take 2 years for my H to realize that OW has her own baggage or for OW to realize that my H isn't the money train she thinks he is.

I know what you are going through my H is spending all of our money on OW too. I had opened an savings account and now I will have to go and open a separate checking account and get my lay checks out of the joint account so that I will be able to take care of myself and my boys. And then I want to see how long H affair with OW will last since he is paying for everything that they do. And when we do start the D then I would like to see if she will still be around for that too. Cause I'm going to try to get what ever I can get cause I will have to raise my two boys on my own. And by the way H had told our boys that we maybe spereating and he maybe moving out but he didn't tell them when this will happen and he hasn't been talking to me as of lately. So I don't know what is going on now. I know he won't be home this weekend I learned from MIL that he is going down to country concert that is happening all weekend long. He had told me that he is working all weekend long so he won't be home much. So I now I know he is going to spend The weekend with OW at the country concert. Good thing I work the whole weekend so that will keep me Bessy I may just get some extra money and go to The drive in with my boys this weekend so we have something to do. Will now I know that my M is almost over now. Now I'm just waiting to The day he decide to move out. And I hope he will wake up and realize that he lost the best thing in life his family.

At least once he moves out, it won't be as upsetting for you to see him on a daily basis! Once he moves in with the OW, he'll be waking up next to her without makeup on and her hair a mess! He will start to see the other side of her, it won't all be sweetness and light! He'll get fed up of her before long and if you can be the best that you can be then he may change his mind and want to come home.
I think it was very unfair of him to tell the boys he's moving out and not tell you first! Are the boys very upset about this or are they quite pleased that the arguments and the rowing will stop? I know when my parents split up, they were always arguing and the day that mum told me she was moving out was quite a relief for me. Kids don't understand properly though and my dad told me later that I never saw him crying on the kitchen floor. I blamed myself for my parents splitting up, I was a bit of a wild child as a teenager! Make sure you tell your boys that they mustn't blame themselves for you two splitting up, I've told my son this and he says he doesn't, lol.
If I was you, I'd pack his bag for him and tell him that you don't want to be waiting around wondering whether or not today is the day! The sooner he moves out, the sooner you can GAL He may be so shocked at this revelation that you have just made, he may hesitate before moving out. He'll probably be thinking what have I done, but not whilst he's infatuated with this OW. Remember, it's only an infatuation at the moment, He's lived with you for 13 years and it's a rebound relationship that he's jumping into.
I don't want to give you too much hope, but I know this from experience. When my H left me the first time for an OW, he came back after 8 months. He was yoyoing backwards and forwards between those months which left me very unsettled. If I could change one thing, I would make sure that he only comes back if he really wants to and doesn't leave again!
My 180 is working! H has called me 2 days in a row When I've got nothing to do I go into town with my son and we'll go to the market for lunch. I often see people down town that I know and I can spend a whole afternoon down there
One thing I did was to join a carnival committee. The carnival is on Saturday and I've been busy with meetings and carnival stuff. I've met lots of people through the meetings and some new friends as well I even know someone who does gardening and she's going to pop over next week to let me know when she can come and do my garden Maybe there's a local committee that you can join to keep yourself busy. I can normally take my son along as well or you could get your MIL to sit for you She will see you getting on with your life and will be reporting back to your H
Wishing you all the best