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PS glad you're gassed up

Hi Tvs,
Sorry to find your h keeping up his mlc behavior...

Just wanted to chime in and say I am a Virgo and my h a Leo..agree with T2 's take on virgo's and bea on Leo's

Snodderly you are an exceptional exception !!!

Yes Linda, it is. My W has said the same thing many times, even on our Anniversary trip less than 2 weeks ago.

Hi Linda~ thanks for putting some gas in my tank

It is all part of the script when they talk about dying or time running out. However, I think in our H's cases where they have serious medical issues, there is even more of a sense of urgency with this. My H has repeatedly told me he KNOWS he's going to die before me. He doesn't take care of himself. It's sad.

Hi Hoper, thanks for stopping by fellow Virgo. Hope you are doing well

Hi FY too

Good morning TVS et al.

Just caught up on your thread - I was hoping the homecoming would go a different way for you. But maybe it still will - perhaps his decency is also on a "delay".

You know, I came to these boards about 10 months ago absolutely (well, 99%) convinced that I had had ENOUGH of my H. Because it had just been going on so very long for us.

Reading your story, your faith and your compassion - well I wouldn't say I've had a total change of heart and mind, but you have made me ask some questions of myself.

Lol, I don't know if I should say "Thank you" or "Thanks a lot!"

But seriously, you and the other "steadfast" posters here should know that you do make a difference on this planet.

And my H is technically a Cancer, but tells everyone he's a Leo because he thinks that sounds better - more like a leader.

And I, of course, am a lovely and gracious Libra (Please, no applause)

Have a great day!

hey hi-

yeah - i know, still some gas in the tank! wtf? i'm thinking it's nothing more than "who we are". we are the ones that stand - take a stand- walk thru fire for love.

they are the ones that are less, what??? ABLE to (well,) everything. MAYBE it's a matter of knowing who you are & seeing it for what it is too (good & bad points) - i'm pretty clinical this morning. i was just mulling over the crazy circular path we're in (on) with our h's - move in- they pull back - pull back- they keep near- on and on. round & round she goes - where it lands - nobody knows.

it's so sad and such a waste of good "life". they cannot see it - i'm not going to rewrite my latest (idea number 9,875298747345) big insight - put it in my thread. just sayin

you sound pretty philosophical today - nice to chat with a sis.

sisters - they can be great - we all know . oooorr they can be the biggest jerks. my closest sister died in '08 - alcohol. she was a really good person and my closest ever one. others are okay tho - have(3)more.

one talks somuch it's like standing under niagra falls with your mouth open- it's overwhelming sometimes - but she's very non-judgemental abut me & sitch- so i appreciate the support -

I was really close to youngest - she's decided she "cannot tolerate" being around my h - and me because of this sitch and how awful he is to me - she's wrapped very very tightly and has a real pompous a$$ of an h (THEY CHEATED on his wife - btw - and did to her what my h is doing to me- can ya die? and now judge him!!!! i swear - talk about "blind".

YET THEY ARE sooooo f'ing righteous & judgemental they can hardly tolerate either of us!! (if it's not crucial & about my mother - she doesn't talk to me for last couple years. get that huh? what a jerk- i hope she's okay & happy- but geeeeez. what a fool... the minute it's not her problems & issues - she blows her stack. i still am amazed that her answer to me being in my sitch is to blow me off totally because i did not IMMEDIATELY take her advice and chuck him out the window... no kidding. couldja die?

anyway- YOU LOVE TO CLEAN & ORGANIZE????? I NEED YOUR PARTICULAR EXPERTISE HERE- AND A TIP OR TWO (if you have any)

i know where things are & am v organized - - BUT it's all gotten a bit out of hand. toooo many of everythings. craft projects - fabric (i seeee the potential IN too mucH)Cloths i keep because i love the fabric - SUPPLIES interesting things - -

BIT WHERE I NEED HELP IT THIS - what exactly do i tell myself - or aim for - when it comes to actual getting rid of things. actually LETTING GO. I THINK i've got a phobia here- i make a pile - then i look at it- and a small panic sets in and i begin thinking "what if i'm poor and i need it or something like it and i can't afford anything and i need this? maybe i need to keep it "in case". that sort of thing.

it sounds so dumb - but it stops me - i swear it. then i start to re-look and so on. when i got there yesterday - i stopped and did not put it back- decided to try again today.

TODAY i'm trying to load it into bags or bins & put in garage- out of house- see if i look for it any time or hope i'll forget it and just donate without ever looking in again.

BUT - STILL HAVE HARD TIME getting it out the back door. like a physical barrier stopping me walking it thru the house and out.

any tips you tell self??? how do you decide what you'll never ever wear again- or looks like hell and you shouldn't wear-

OH GOSH- GOT THINKING ABOUT H YESTERDAY & SITCH HERE- and thinking of cclothing i'd saved because i love it- and it's BACK IN STYLE NOW - and i wore to work- made me laugh- wondering if our h's come "back in style" if we save them long enough- talk about your basic "closet of life" ...

or - rid of things you LOVE TO WEAR becaue they're comfy but you look bad and probably shouldn't.

i find self wanting to get rid of new things that are worth donating & reselling - and keeping the junk!!!

get that ... i like old things better than new too. (why i db as well????) old & comfy vs new & needs "breakin in"???

my natural laziness???

if you have any organizational tips - i'll appreciat e them ALOT - i'm kind of STUCK - BUT HOPing to get un-f'ing-stuck today.

at least - nothing here is going back up to attic.


THANKS and have a wonderful day-

xxoo

Hi Miz J, you lovely libra! Good to hear from you!

Yes, I hoped his homecoming would have gone differently too - guess we go back to that whole having no expectations thing. Zero. Zip. Nada.

I hope his decency - along with all the other good traits he once had that seemed to have gone out the window - are just on a delay and not permanently grounded. That would svck.

I'm glad my story helps you and others, though there are days I am ready to throw the towel in myself. I look to others on here to motivate me and keep me grounded. Don't know what I would do without this place!

Hope you are doing well

Hi Nero!

Did someone say organizing - woo hoo!!!

If I had to pick a fantasy job, it would be a professional organizer. I used to love when Oprah would have Peter Walsh on her show. I would fantasize about shopping at The Container Store. I'm weird like that

Anyway, Peter would always tell these hoarders who were cleaning out to make three piles - keep, throw away, and donate. I think that's a pretty good rule to go by. Is there any stuff you could sell?

I think a rule of thumb with clothes is that if you haven't worn something in a year (or is it two?) then get rid of it. Logic being if you haven't worn it in that long, you're not gonna miss it when it's gone.

Where I ran into trouble was having babies! Ummm, I gained almost 50 lbs. with my oldest. Not good. I have been so many different sizes over the course of a three- four year time span with being pregnant and having kids. I'd think - I can't get rid of this, what if I get skinny again? Or, I can't get rid of that, what if I stay this weight forever?

Now I put all my chubby clothes in the basement. Just in case.

Hope your cleaning out is going well

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nothing much to report. H seemed sullen and down today. Lots and lots of texting. Whenever I read various people's accounts of their spouse texting, I can always relate. I have read where several people have commented on their spouse "smirking" while texting. Oh, I remember that well. I know my H's flirty expressions - and they sure as hell weren't toward me.

But I'm here to tell you now that the smirking is long gone, and has been replaced with the most serious of expressions when texting. It's strange.

I've been trying to keep my distance from him, give him space. I read a book outside for awhile before going to yoga tonight.

He seemed to be in a better mood later this evening. I can hear him texting down there now.

When is this drama going to get old???? Because I've been over it

Really hope he's backing up to jump over that puddle. Just sayin.

Good night

Hiya T! Libra here. Go figure!

The puddle jump reminded me of something. I'll have to post about it on my thread. I'm glad to hear you're going to take a fun bday trip!

Hello...Leo here for me!!! I guess that puts me in Snodderly's camp?

OMG, T! I swear this is the truth. My therapist just asked me what my dream job would be and I said professional organizer. She told me my eyes light up when I talk about organizing.

I used to watch all the organizing shows - Clean sweep, Clean House and Peter on Oprah. Too funny.

As far as the texting goes with the MLCer, well, you all know how I eventually dealt with it. Invited the phone to Thanksgiving Dinner. That slowed the texting down to a crawl. Not for everyone, though. LOL!

Raine, I do have the patterns for the clothes. One burial outfit, coming up.

T, the serious expression is because she is pulling the reins tighter as she feels him loosening his up.

I know this part feels like it's forever. It really is a sloooooowwwww death.

You gotta outlast it. And you can. You've come too far not to.

Hang in there, my friend.