but it's the fact that he talks to her for 2 or 3 hours every day, giving all of himself to her when he won't even say one word to me a lot of the time, that kills me.
Right. It's all about what they refuse to give us, while giving it to another. On some level, my W still connects with me emotionally, tells me about her life, thoughts and feelings, etc, but has cut me off physically. If she were then to give that to another, it would hurt A LOT.
Notice too, that many men in PA are still willing to ML with their W. Same thing, flipped around.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
I will throw some confusion into this EA vs PA thing from the male side ... W's EA's have hurt me more than the PA. For me, her total withdrawing of that emotional connection, because she has been a very "all or nothing" person, is what was more devastating to me personally. Her PA has not bothered me quite as much, but to be sure, BOTH EAs and PAs are hurtful...
This sign conversation is interesting... guess what W is? ... Scorpio. And I am a Capricorn...go figure... lol. Maybe some common threads there... earthy and loyal meet emotional and ego, or something like that.
TVS, if his facial expressions have morphed into mostly serious while texting, then I would bet the end is coming for the A...I watched this transformation of W's from giddy school girl and getting away with something "look" to...ummm..."not so much" expressions quite a few times along this journey.
Hang in there your most awesomeness! T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
My W projects her emotional connections to others (GF, a guy, etc.) and for me very little intimacy or emotional connection. During the day, we have very little emotional connection or intimacy -- it's all business and friend-type talk, yet in the bedroom we ML almost every night. In fact, as frequent now after 22 years as our first year.
I used to think the ML was evidence that deep down she still loved me, now I wonder whether for my W the emotional part (EA) is completely separate from the sex part?
Wow, Sailing, (and T2) it just goes to show that every sitch can be quite different. Still seems like a whole lotta MLC driving it all to me. (sometimes I wonder if it's not)
I mean if our spouses were really "done" with us, wouldn't they be long gone already? WTH is up with that?
And yes TVS, I too think you are definitely awesome! I hope Hubby realizes it soon.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
... W's EA's have hurt me more than the PA. For me, her total withdrawing of that emotional connection, because she has been a very "all or nothing" person, is what was more devastating to me personally. Her PA has not bothered me quite as much, but to be sure, BOTH EAs and PAs are hurtful...