Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers I am at a loss on what to do anymore.

"He went out tonight. He says when I'm home he feels like he is caged and doesn't like accounting to me on his whereabouts. Normal?"

Very normal. It's not you. It's him.

Do they ever come out of it?

This afternoon is our first mediation appointment. :sad: I am pretty sure it is just a consultation but still its going down a path I don't really want.

He hasn't said anything more about moving out but I am pretty sure he still looking at houses just not sharing anything.

I don't know what to do with myself anymore. It hurts that he doesn't try with me. I will never understand this. Its like a switch just went off in his head and this marriage is over.

The mediation appointment was a non-event. It was just this is what we can offer you.

He went and signed a lease this morning. Not sure when he is moving.

He moved most of the big stuff today. He told me tonight is the last night he is staying at my house and the only reason is he doesn't have the gas turned on for hot water.

I'm sad. I don't think it is temporary. Where do I go from here? What do I do now?

Stung, I have no advice..but wanted you to know that my heart hurts for you & I totally understand your not understanding how the WAS seem to just "flip a switch" on years & years of a relationship with someone (I know they've gone through this grieving before we were fully made aware in most cases, but that small consolation. I know I could NOT hide my pain the way my H apparently did, because I was BLINDSIDED bigtime).

Hugs to you. I'm sorry you are dealing with this! Hang in there!

WAS's speak in absolutes. "We will never get back together again." "I will never love you again." "You need to get used to this, this is permanent." Like the DB 180 tip says, don't believe anything they say and only half of what they do. The WAS once loved the LBS and at some point changed their mind not to love them anymore. If they changed their mind once, they certainly can again, they can change it back to choosing the LBS. It happens all the time. Just stick with your DB'ing, separation isn't the end.

He actually says its temporary and hopes we can figure it out. Uh, hello - get rid of OW and actually try to connect with me.

Everyone of my friends says I need to file for divorce. He has gotten sneaky. He told me he had to work all day and then came home early while I was at work and finished his move. He was gone when I got home. He didn't even say goodbye

Have you read DR? MWD goes into this, I think it was in the first chapter. Nothing unusual about that. They are wrong of course.