Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Letting Go & Moving Forward 2

"newman--I'm pretty sure H got a good "looksy" at the b-day suit, so..."

^^^^perfect

"Leaving for my trip on Saturday--very excited to have some ME time w SIL! Yeah, GIRLS TRIP!!!! "

Lucky!!! ^^^this sounds fun ! Gotta tell us how it went. I've been trying to get my buddies to head to Vegas for a weekender just the boys you know, but they're all M and can't get away. I for one am ready to GAL! My other buddy is widowed so between the two of us we might be able to convince the others. Hey GTO, have a great trip! Definitely enjoy the ME time!

Newman

Have a great time GTO- I look forward to hearing about it.

It seems like a good time to let things play out re: Hs piqued interest ....

GTO, he's definitely showing more interest. Hmm. It's a good thing, so focus on it!

The younger guy also definitely interested. I agree that GTO got her groove back! :-)

really, ruby, 14 years...not an issue w/ 30's and 40's???

Traveled via walking to cute D'ed dad's house while he was outside playing w his son. We talked a bit & seemed glad I came over.

Later- he texted me about a comment I made last night via text. Definite flirting here.

At the same time H is bringing boys home from an afternoon away from the house (which they desperately needed) & he was NICE to me--nothing major, just a change in voice tone, maybe.

He touched my shoulder when he was leaving after saying he was leaving to make sure I heard him...usu. he just leaves. Hmmm...

Again, not reading ANYTHING into this!

BTW- I think cute young D guy just wants to be friends too...for now... and maybe he does. ? If not I'll have to set him straight!

BTW I am torn about asking H some very specific questions about where he is w OW-

Are you dating her now? Are you planning to date this summer? Have you been physical w her???

If yes to any of these, I may be done. That's why I want to ask.

Advice? And, yes, I am ready to hear the answers to these!

GTO,

IMO I don't think you should ask. First he doesn't dictate what life is for GTO. Even if you ask I don't think he will tell you the truth. I think he wants to keep you for insurance.

What about just move on and let him feel the loss. But you have to be prepared in going through with it. Know jour rights, consult L's etc. gotta have a plan Before moving forward for you and sons.

What do you feel GTO? Are you ready to move on without him? I think you are. IMO, he knows where to find you. If he wants M with you, you would know. Make him work at it. Remember how you were his priority in your M before...well get that back and don't settle for anything less.

You deserve better and he has to give you better. You know what I mean?

But this is my opinion and you know where I stand on things...this is how I feel about my sitch too.

Newman

I feel the same way as you all I want to do is just ask question after question with my H. I'm still trying to stop all The questions that I ask H? Its super hard not knowing what they are getting from the other person. My H is seeing and out all night with OW. While im at home taking care of our sons. I know what you are going thru.

IMO, don't ask. Just live your life. I do see signs of your H being nicer/warming up to you. Just keep doing what you are doing. But, I'd ask yourself some questions.

What do you want asking to accomplish?

If he says no about OW what does that mean for you?

If he answers yes about OW what does that mean for you?

I had stopped asking all questions with my H once I found out he was still "trying not to see aka breaking down & seeing" OW. I knew I wasn't ready to start D proceedings, so asking questions would not change my actions. I was moving on, emotionally and everything.

You sound so great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree with Bug, this is a booty call. Even if that isn't all he wants, I doubt he is looking for a friend. Be honest with yourself about what it is you really want. If you only want to be friends, why the flirty texting? It send the wrong message. If that is all you want you should be clear about it now, not when you end up at his house and he is trying to put the moves on you.

If you are interested, and you are moving on, 14 years makes no difference, it's pretty common these days.

Oh, I missed that ^^^ Total booty call!!

I completely agree that this is not how friends text, especially given the time. These are exactly the types of flirty texts my H has been sending me. The man DOES NOT just want to be my friend.

I know I have posted my opinion on male female friendships while married. You are separated, so you can do what you want. But, you say you don't want to have an EA or PA...but you are already beginning an EA IMO. If a man texted me the above at 12:30 at night, I'd respond "This is inappropriate, I'm only looking for a friend" Because if all I wanted was a friend, let's face it...my girlfriend wouldn't text me that. I do have male friends. The friendships have changed since becoming married. I don't discuss my marriage or problems with my H with them. We don't text or talk on the phone for hours, its typically a how ya doing, lets get together with the kids, type thing. We ususally just hang out with our wives, husband, girlfriends, kids.

Trust me, even 33 weeks pregnant, I get flirted with. It feels good. It does. A mutal friend of ours knew my H and I were separated. He is an attractive single dad and our sons are friends and the same age. He started calling about more playdates, and has always been really flirty with me. I know he was just trying to be there, but I was really enjoying the attention, so I told him I needed to back off. I need to make me feel good, plus I'm human and didn't need to complicate anything for myself.

Just really get honest with yourself. Whatever you decided is right for you, is.