Knowingly been on this journey for almost 11 months, but really sitch has been closer to 18 months.
I posted this on ruby's thread, but with her encouragement I posting it here too.
Here's what I've learned on my journey: - Take the high road- always. - What you give is what you'll receive. - Negative emotions CAN be good & channeled in a positive way. - Forgiveness is not only valuable, but necessary --for yourself and for S. - Nothing good ever comes from spewing negativity onto others. - Love yourself. - Love the people you love unconditionally. - WE are not the judges of others- only HE (God) is. - We learn more from our mistakes than anything else. - We grow from our mistakes & hardships. - To be loved we must first love ourselves. - Life is much easier and fulfilling to have others you care about traveling this journey with you. - A blanket & a friend ARE invaluable. - Through the emotions is the only way forward. - We do NOT control others, but we CAN & should control ourselves & our actions. Others will react to us based on how we project ourselves. - Nobody is promised tomorrow, so make TODAY count. - Count your blessings every day. There are so many (esp if one has children). - We are not on this journey alone. HE walks with us every step of the way.
Feel free to add onto this list with your own.
This place is AMAZING. I am so thankful for all of you. Although I'm not done w DBing--it is saving ME, I do feel I have come a very long way...toward ME, toward being OKAY, toward a HAPPIER FUTURE. Still have a long way to go.....
Reading this made my entire day.
Me 32 W 30 Married 11 D10, S6 BD#1 January of 09 OM#1 2005 OM#2 Dec 08 OM#3 March/April of 09 Back together August 09 OM#4 May 13 W moves out June 2013 BD#2 June 21 2013 Filed July 2013 D final in Oct
DB says, asks no questions. My own experience says, ask the questions you want to ask. In the name of DB'ing I didn't ask Joe any questions about the supposedly EA he was having, and it had already turned into a PA. Later, he said my not asking had made it easier for him to move into a PA, and that he was pleasantly surprised I hadn't asked. You don't have to ask in a mean way, just with compassion and honesty. That's my take. But only you will decide what to do.
Thanks for your input and advice, Tori,newman, T, & lovethehub.
And, corerush- you are welcome!
I have decided NOT to ask H any questions before my trip. I will have to see how things go this summer & may change my mind depending on what I feel I need to continue moving forward.
The texting with cute D'ed guy continues to be very flirty. I have to admit the feelings it's giving me are giving my ego a real boost.
I plan to spend some of my trip thinking about how this texting is affecting me. I don't want it to cloud my decisions, but I looked back at some of my posts prior to texting and I DO feel I am moving forward regardless.
This may just be pushing the inevitable forward. IDK.
Cute D guy & I have established the whole "friendship" thing, I think, but it hasn't squashed the flirting. We haven't talked about that fact that I am still M yet. I am still wearing my wedding ring so I'm sure at some face-to-face meeting it will come up.
I intend to tell him that I still wear my wedding ring b/c it reminds me I am still M, not yet D'ed.
You are right, T, just friends do NOT text the way we are texting. I have a male friend at work & we would definitely not flirt like this.
I do not intend for this to go any further than this, but I do not intend to stop the texting either. It may be a mistake.
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Interactions w H-- he asked about my trip again, Wanted to know WHERE I was going w SIL. I told him it wasn't important for him to know. He asked what STATE I was going to. Why does he even care to ask???
As he was leaving the house he said, "love you!" to the boys. So they & I responded "love you too!" He looked at me and said, "I do care."
I followed him out the door and said "I was just kidding," as I was just trying to make light of his good-bye to the boys.
He said, "I wasn't." meaning he DOES care.
In my head I was thinking, Caring is not enough any more. Sad, but true, I think,
Had dinner w a great new DB friend! YEAH, GALing!!!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
