I have a great friend here but I don't have any blood family where I live the closes blood family I have lives 14 hours away. My father is going to help me if I decide to file for D. Due to I have no finance. I do work but its just part time so I could be here for my sons. And H hasn't told his family yet about our stitch. I had talked to my father because i don't know if I want to keep living in the town I'm at right now. The bad thing about it I can't take my sons away from their home and their friends. And it will hurt MIL really bad cause she won't be able to see her grandsons if i take them away.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
My Oldest is 13 and my youngest is 8. My 8 yr has been giving me lots of hugs and kisses I tried so hard not to be sad in front of my sons but its so hard he tells me it will be OK mommy and I love you. It breaks my heart every time he says that cause I try not to cry around them. But the tears just come down.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
you will eventually run out of tears... try to not refill that reservoir!
And making sure the reservoir doesn't refill is best done by detaching.
Everything is so fresh and raw for you right now. I know when I was at that point I thought that rawness was going to last forever, and I thought if that was the case that I would die.
But it doesn't last. Thank heavens.
If you want to hurry up and end of this kind of pain then deliberately, purposefully turn your focus OFF your H and onto you. Some people put a rubber band on their wrist so that when they begin thinking/obsessing on the sitch they can literally "snap" themselves out of it.
Now, what are your goals for today?
I am going to round up all the stray newspapers and put them in the recycle bin.
I am going to find a recipe for tonight's dinner.
I am going to do at least 2 loads of laundry.
I am going to find something fun to do this weekend. Maybe I'll see if I can get a friend to join me for some shopping and a bite to eat on Friday
Your turn Kelela!
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
I do have to wash two loads of clothes and I'll most likely see if any of my friends are free this weekend. Hopefully I can find someone to hang out this weekend. On now I'll be going to the festival here in my small town Saturday
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
H is going to see a lawyer for a councitation tomorrow morning. Now I will have to do the same I just called a lawyers office myself for a councitation. Im not ready for this to happen. H and OW are back together again after their aguiment so they are in their Happy place once again.
Now I have to keep moving on for my sons and myself I don't know how I'm going to do it but now I have no choice I have to stop being the way I am.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
"now I have no choice I have to stop being the way I am."
You always have a choice. But it's up to you to choose to be a continuous victim or choose to be a stronger person. Stop being pushed around and pick up the reins of your own destiny.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Some things to keep in mind. Divorce is a lengthy process and many things, good and bad, can happen between now and the finish. And then many more good and bad things can happen after the finish too.
I know you are in a whirlpool right now, and are struggling with your best course of action. You really don't have to make every single decision right now, so don't feel so overwhelmed. It is very very smart to think about protecting yourself and your children because often when money gets involved in a sitch people become reluctant to "play fair".
I would like to hear what you meant by the quote below?
Originally Posted By: kelela
I have to stop being the way I am.
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
I ment to stop wanting him to leave OW and work out our marriage. I stepped way back to the beginning of when this situation all started at. That is no one fault but my own. And now I have to worry about myself and what I need to do now. I'm so tired I can't think anymore my head is spinning all over the place. I'm going to see if I can go to sleep now. I'm mentally drained right now I'm not thinking straight
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
This is exactly the same sitch that I'm in at the mo. My H is planning to file for D and I'm not ready for this! He's only left 2 months ago. As far as I know he's got no OW, though he told me today he's got 2 females who keep ringing him up and asking how he is. He said he's not interested in either of them and they are annoying him. I felt like telling him that I've had attention as well, but I didn't say anything! Being mysterious is the key. I don't cry that much, I don't know if this is a good thing or not. I cried for about 2-3 days on and off when he first left because I felt there was no hope. Then I started joining forums and reading books and that helped me wipe away my tears When he told me he was going for D, I was crying then. I went on the internet to find out some advice and I came across the book DB. I ordered it, read it, then found out there was another book called DR which I am currently reading. It has given me hope that there could be a chance that we may get to R one day. Hope you get some sleep tonight Kelela The other similarity is that we weren't intimate with each other, but it was only 4 years and not as long as you. You can read my story on the newcomers page as well I do have a life which is very full at the mo. I've now finished college, but I'm still busy!! I'm going to a carer's meeting tomorrow morning, having lunch with my son before taking him to college, hanging round the town until it's time to pick my son up again from college, going to have some dinner then off to youth club. phew!! Friday I'm meeting a friend for a coffee, Saturday I'm having a boot sale with another friend and Sunday another friend is coming round here to have her legs waxed and hopefully she will be able to do mine as well! We've just finished our level 2 beauty course so we often meet up to do treatments on each other Next week is just as busy!!! How I ever managed to fit college in I don't know, lol. It'll take me a few days to find I suddenly have nothing to do and then I can start making improvements to my home
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
