Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Re: Thought I Was Piecing, Now I'm Detaching III

my personality is so hard to become aloof. I know it is SOO important.

stupid question did you ever stupidly say the word "MLC" to your W in the heat. I haven't but man I've been close back in the day

First, there is no stupid question, unless you don't listen to the answer when given repeatedly...(I am guilty of that).

In my case, never in the heat...but to be fair, I have a psych degree, training and experience a long time ago with a challenging population (teenage males who were SA'd and were SA'ing, ironic, and fortunate, given my W's history).

I do know my W well enough to know when her defenses have had a crack big enough to toss in info and she would be likely to be receptive to it...then I let her run with it (she has a "detective" personality streak like I do).

It was like this for the effects of effexor on relationships and empathy info I found when I noticed the link between her starting effexor and replay/lack of empathy behavior, both times at the start of her phases of mlc tunnel. And several smaller issues, and then the MLC idea.

The advice to NOT suggest it to the spouse is absolutely correct, and if I had when she wasn't "open", it would have fallen on deaf ears and a closed mind.

my W is a detective too for sure. She also will NOT take a drop of medicine for anything. Not even a darn advil which is self inflicting pain but out of my control. Thanks T for the support brother.

Has she gone off on you lately?

Bond she hasn't because I haven't touched the hot stove in awhile and have my anxiety in better check (I have moments still!)
Last time I was airing our problems out to people and learned from that.
We just living as roommates.

I'm doing ok. She seems to have told all our mutual friends in hood that she unhappy and staying 4 kids. Whatever !

Today I was cruising the shorelines by the Kennedy compound. I felt FREE

I'm not talking about you pushing an issue. I was just wondering if she had snapped again at you for no reason again.

No in a few weeks.

Then that is a big plus compared to how she was acting before. Just keep dealing with your insecurities.

Thx Bond. Im still working on me. As you know the silence can be tough on me. (and no se x lol)

One thing that drives me crazy. She only put my D in school for 3 days in the fall coming up. She CONSTANTLY states how being home with the kids driving her NUTS. Then she balks and puts D in for 3 days. She is so ready for 5. This would free up W's time to start working again and get around adults again