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DB101 - Patience.

Better to keep bumping up this thread than posting everywhere, newcomers and MLC are the two most popular boards.
Here is where you will get the most responses.

FIGHT like crazy to see your kids.

LET HER GO - YES

It is the only way that you may ever get her back.

I dont know if I want her back.....I am trying to keep myself together and not completely fall apart.

Everything you are feeling right now is perfectly normal.

My suggestion is for right this minute is to do nothing.

When you are calmer and more in control then you need to set boundaries and let her go.

Do it through ACTIONS not WORDS.

TBH you don't want her back the way she is, only if she is willing to do the work and become a better person.
Right now that is far down the road.
It is all out of your CONTROL, so work right now on what you can CONTROL.
Which is YOU!

That is EXACTLY what you should do. Don't ask her about D, don't pressure her, don't even call or text her about anything. It's OK to reply to her, but don't initiate. She might file, but then she might not. You never know with WAS's. I've read many sitches where a WAS insisted they would be filing ASAP and then months later still hadn't. My W told me about 6 weeks ago that she was going to file after the kids got out of school. I simply told her to let me know what I needed to sign and I haven't said a word to her about it since. The kids got out of school 3 weeks ago and she still hasn't filed. Silence is the best policy.

But do consult a lawyer. Since your W has one, you should look into one as well just to make sure you're protecting yourself.

That is EXACTLY what you should do. Don't ask her about D, don't pressure her, don't even call or text her about anything. It's OK to reply to her, but don't initiate. She might file, but then she might not. You never know with WAS's. I've read many sitches where a WAS insisted they would be filing ASAP and then months later still hadn't. My W told me about 6 weeks ago that she was going to file after the kids got out of school. I simply told her to let me know what I needed to sign and I haven't said a word to her about it since. The kids got out of school 3 weeks ago and she still hasn't filed. Silence is the best policy.

But do consult a lawyer. Since your W has one, you should look into one as well just to make sure you're protecting yourself. [/quote]

I'm remaining silent. Haven't talked to her since I dropped the kids off. Going to call to talk to the kids tonight. I don't think silence will do anything she is adamant about D will be down there to talk to her this weekend. Is moving forward with D better sooner or later? As You've said before it's a toxic relationship. She's even. said that she'll be hell to live with and would make my. Life miserable by not touching me being cold etc. She wants to be let go.

Can't sleep. Talked to an attorney today. Not going to be able to afford one. Afraid I'm going to get royally screwed and will jave to leave my job in order to be close to my kids. Wife is extremely cold. Praying for answers and direction. Noting seems right. If wife gets everything ill have to look for new job. I just want my kids to be with me. I don't know what to do. Wish I could turn back time. I'm sure everyone feels that way. Worked on art today which felt good and I talked to my kids for a littke while. They sound happy. I'm just fearful..........

I got some sleep but I am unable to concentrate. All I can do is think about what I need to do to make sure I don't loose my kids. I'm getting depressed and trying to not think about the negative things right now but they are so close to the surface that my will is breaking and the dam that is holding all of this back is quickly failing.

All I want to do is see my wife and not have her be cold to me. She wants me to bring the kids birth certificates and shot records so she can enroll them into school, the advice I've received is to not bring them to her. I AM LOST! I do not want to please her but I do not want things to degrade. I am constantly wrestling decisions back and forth in my mind and I cannot just pick on and stick with it.

I no longer want to bend to her will. I want to stand up and fight rather than keep my mouth shut and keep the peace. I need to get things in order so that I do not loose the two most important things to me. I am going to continue to post on here because its a way for me to get my thoughts out. I hope all those that do happen to read my thread will not get discouraged but know that I am fighting for what I know is right. I am hoping that I can get someone to post advice and encouragement. The feelings that are going through me right now are beyond confusing.

Am I kowtowing to my wife if I decided to move closer during the D so that I will be able to see my children? I am not weak, I will not let her push me down. I will not give my children up.

So I continue, going to IC today. Looking forward trying not to worry about the future and just concentrate on today.

corerush,

Hang in there. Take one day at a time. No decisions need to be made yet.

There is no reason to panic about your kids. If you are a good father you will have joint custody in the end (if this ends).

Keep coming here & venting & projecting your thoughts & emotions.