Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers DBing European style, part 3

Whoa, wait a minute! Why are you lashing out at us? Those are strong accusations you've made toward people who have put in years of trying to give support to others.

I'm not a vet or a DB expert, but I find your comments in bad form and distasteful. Your tirade reflects far more about you than the help offered here on these boards.

Well that was very entertaining, although I doubt that you actually saved your M. It think you were trying to make some kind of point and you're still bitter about your W.

Just to clarify, my last comment to you was because of YOUR last comment.

"Thanks for all the support and kind words and everything everybody, but it's pretty pointless in my sitch to keep dwelling here and fooling myself that my hopes were anything other than completely f---ing misguided. "

Since you said that you were leaving, I didn't clarify. But just for the record, what I meant by you weren't DBing was that you hadn't detached yourself from your W at that point.

Now if you had asked for clarification, I would have given it to you, but it seemed like YOU gave up so I didn't give any.

The fact is that YOU gave up hope. Not us. I and the other posters don't get an ego trip when we try to help others. And our advice is that. Just advice. It is up to YOU to make the final decision. If something didn't work, look in the mirror rather than at others. It is easy to make insults like a coward rather than being brave and sharing what worked and didn't work. Everyone here (myself included) have gone through the pain of what you had and if you enjoy insulting those who have been in your shoes, then we know why your W left in the first place.

If you really did reconcile with your W, then I'll be the first one to congratulate you and I encourage you to share your success with others so that they can also learn what you have.

So you have a choice. You can accuse people who help others of things that aren't even true, or you can pay it forward yourself.

If you don't ever respond back, then good luck to you on your continued M efforts. For I can tell you that Piecing will be twice as hard as trying to get your spouse back. Ask anyone (not just the vets) who are going through that and you'll find out it's true.

Just a friendly bit of advice.

Figures there would be no response. Guess it wasn't real.

"P4L most definitely over and out and btw D busted no thanks to any one of you sick fucks."

"You hold up this promise of a solution to what most experts say is the most painful, stressful period in a person's life, and then you criticize them for their actions and hold out hope for them without ever being constructive and offering them any constructive advice."

It sounds more like you are talking about yourself.

I do find it strange. P4L was a decent person when he came on here and seem to 'get it' quite early on and gave good advice to me and others on many occasions.

His very last comment seems more like someone else. Like his W maybe wrote it and after finding the site??

Who knows?
It's not the P4L that I remember speaking with.

T, I agree!
I also remember P4L as an honorable and nice guy who helped me in the early days of my sit.

Maybe it is just a simple fact of life that yes, this is one of the hardest and most emotional things in life to happen to us. Sometimes we get through it, with help from family, friends and forums like this, sometimes we simply get to a point that we can no longer deal with the hurt and anger. As lots of us say, it is a rollercoaster ride.
Maybe sometimes we become like the WAS, as becoming a person we think can deal with it all.
For me, I try to take in what is important and sensible to me. I don't and haven't felt pressured to use the DB coaches. But have used them when I decided I wanted to. I then haven't felt that I needed to spend money each week listening to them. I have read the DB books and lots of other self help books. Again haven't felt pressued by others on this forum or coaches to stay with these books only.
Most importantly, I made the decision to understand the DB principles in relation to other principles about separation. I made the choice that while the DB principles were hard to do, I cannot see a better way for improving my sitch. Down the track who knows, maybe the W would tell me I should have done this and this instead.
I also acknowledge that using the DB approach won't guarantee my marriage will be restored, may not make me a better persons, but it certianly isn't making me any worse.
Take care Papa.