Thank you I will go down to my local library and see if they have The book you have suggested to read. And I will take step back to let H have time and space for himself. I know its going to be hard but I really want to save mg marriage I will have to do it. I have made couple of plans for myself to make me happy and to move forward And to rediscover who I am And what I want.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
Thank you mizjjd it is going to be hard but I understand that my situation will not be solve over night and since I do want to make my marriage work I will have to be patient with my H and wait until he is ready to move forward with our relationship or if not how we can move forward without our relationship. But in the meantime I will refocused my time to relearning what will make me happy for myself And I need to spend more time with our two sons.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
My two sons are the ones that makes me happy I'm learning to be more patient with them and I'm trying to spend more of my time with them. I want to be the best mother that i can be to them. They deserve to be happy and be loved by their mom and that is what I'm going to do.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
Hi Kelela. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and there are so many wondeful people on this board that will help you so much. I am not really good for any advice right now but just sending you a hug. Just keep taking deep breaths and taking it one minute at a time if you have to. You can do this. Hang in there!
Thank you I will I still have my ups and downs about H. But I have to patient and give him the time and space he needs to work out what's going on his life at this time. And I'm trying to find things to make me happy. I know I have a lot of work to improve myself. I'm taking it one day at a time.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
Well I'm not sure if this is a good idea but we are heading down to Florida to visit my brother and his family this weekend. And yes H is coming with myself and our two boys. And we are driving down to Florida I hope we will let our difference between us stay back and we will have some fun down there. I would like this trip to be a small step to rebuild our relationship with each other but I'm not going to push it.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
I can't handle H always texting OW every minute of the day its bad enough he does it while I'm in the room. I know I should just get up and go to other room . And now H has been sleeping downstairs on the couch. I'm trying to be patient and trying to start my healing process but its so hard to GAL going. Yes I haven't said anything about him texting OW cause I know if I do it will just drive him more towards her. Oh how I wish he would just stop all communications with OW and trying to work on our marriage but i can't push him into it. I don't know if I can go through this. I don't want a divorce I really want to get our marriage back on track.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
I can't handle H always texting OW every minute of the day its bad enough he does it while I'm in the room. I know I should just get up and go to other room . And now H has been sleeping downstairs on the couch. I'm trying to be patient and trying to start my healing process but its so hard to GAL going. Yes I haven't said anything about him texting OW cause I know if I do it will just drive him more towards her. Oh how I wish he would just stop all communications with OW and trying to work on our marriage but i can't push him into it. I don't know if I can go through this. I don't want a divorce I really want to get our marriage back on track.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
Kelela, it's really hard. I remember when W started doing this when our live-in separation began -- constant texting, and hours-long phone calls on the patio every night (that I could hear some of no matter where in the house I went). Eventually I told her that if we were going to live together, we had to make some concessions to maintain the peace and that she couldn't call him on the property - she had to be past the curb.
She probably just called him from the bedroom, but it did set a boundary. I'm not sure if this is a good idea or not for your situation and there are better people here to advise on that.
Until that happens, continue to ignore it and please take comfort in the fact that even if the A does not end, the incessant contact will as they settle down and get into more normal contact routines. It can take a few months to get to this point but eventually it is too much for anyone to maintain, and they grow bored of it as the A novelty wears off.
Me: 24 W: 24 T: 9 M: 6 S7, D4, S2 PA Starts, ILYBINILWY: Nov 2012 BD & PA Discovered: Jan 2013 First ML since BD: April 2013 Physical separation: Mid-May 2013
Moderation only seems like it lasts forever.