May I invite you out of your pool and into my frying pan of a sitch today? I could use some direct input into what could be a major stumbling issue for my W.
Okay, I said earlier I would post my goals for today. Here they are: (revised due to some craziness of today) 1: Have my PMA firmly in place when H picks me up from work (our daycare person had an emergency, so H has the car and the S!) Express sympathy if he is frustrated with our S (taking him to work will be hard, because the shop isn't really baby-proofed). Validate him if he mentions having a hard day. Overall, be positive, loving, sympathetic, and validating. 2: Make something easy for dinner, so I can catch up on dishes - my Flylady deal for the kitchen is that I do all the dishes we use during the day, then spend 15 minutes on the dish backlog -thought there isn't much of one anymore! 3: Do my zone mission in our room, a room rescue in S's room, and my 15-minute living room declutter. 4: Take a long, hot bubble bath and RELAX!!! 5: Go to bed early, and don't get up or call H after I tuck myself in.
I can do these. Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Lyrael, Well, I just stumbled onto your post and I have been skimming through and it seems like you are doing just great! There are so many amazing things happening in your situation and I am sure you will be tough enough to achieve every single goal you placed for yourself. Just keep up the hard work, and if you fall down, get back up and do the task at hand. You should be proud of yourself and it sounds like your marriage will end up in the success stories thread!
P.S. Any womanly advice is more than welcome on my post.
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Well, last night was a very quiet success. Dustin and I played EQ (I think it's our answer to quality time!) together until about 11pm. I finally logged to go to bed, gave him my usual good night call (which was kind of cute, because I called him "my little night owl" and he laughed. He called me sweetie a couple of times, which is always a sure sign he's feeling pretty loving.
I finished up stuff around the house (yes, I got almost all of my Flylady goals done), and put on my jammies and got into bed. I've been rereading DR lately, just to keep me focused, so I read some in that. Every time I had a "he should be home" thought, I thought instead "he's just my little night owl" and somehow my attitude was one of acceptance of him as himself, rather than me dealing with an irritating and unacceptable behavior (thanks, Bets). It just reiterates for me that this is all a matter of attitude. When Mer said to me a while ago - give up the TV family ideal, that's not yours, she was VERY right. My family may not be conventional, but it is mine, and I love both my boys very much. The hard part of this now is consistent success in this area, because that's what will speak to my H - my consistency and stability, both in my attitude toward him, and my ability to take care of my end of the house/S responisiblities.
*Cheers* for a good night! He came home at 2 (as usual) and I hugged him (I am always really lovey when I'm half-asleep) and we snuggled and - I can't believe not two weeks ago I told him I was scared because I thought he wasn't attracted to me that way anymore. I'll post goals for tonight in a bit, as I haven't thought that far ahead today. Hugs for all! Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
You guys do not have to be the Cleavers to be happy! And something tells me that neither one of you want to be the Cleavers....
So relish your new attitude--I'm betting that your H will really respond well to your acceptance of his night owl tendencies. That is validation in its finest form, Myrrh. You just gave him a really big present in fancy wrapping with a gorgeous bow....
GO YOU!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
I would rather NOT wear pearls while vacuuming, thank you. And she always wore skirts! I couldn't dress that way all the time - I love my jeans and big comfy sweatshirts too much. Plus I think Ward was kind of a putz.
And maybe an SOB, too.
No Cleavers for me! Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Wow, what a thought! Maybe Ward was having an affair with his secretary, while June was boinking Eddie Haskell under the bleachers of Wally's football games? With Beaver videotaping them?
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
- I can't believe not two weeks ago I told him I was scared because I thought he wasn't attracted to me that way anymore.