Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Let my love open the door...

I've always like this song. Felt like using it for my new thread

Something I've learned so far on my trip is that love can take many forms. In this case, really loving my H has been to let him go. I continue to try to do that, each and every day.
It's still hard.

Tomorrow is our company meeting, and I'm beginning to have some anxiety about it. I was feeling fine until today. Now I am feeling some stress.

I'm trying to pinpoint exactly WHY I'm feeling this way. I think there are several reasons...

- seeing them together hurts. Don't know if this will ever change
- it's awkward. I feel like I have to avoid my own H, which is strange. I feel like approaching him to even say hi would be pursuit or could stir up drama.
- although this has improved for me, part of me still feels embarrassed that they are glued to each others side for 100 of our coworkers to see. I feel like it is publicly dissing me - he is obviously choosing to be with her, not me.

So that's where I'm at. Just being honest.

Went to yoga tonight, helped to relieve some of my stress and calm me. Plus, got my arms all ready for my sleeveless dress tomorrow lol!

H wasn't in the best mood when he came home from work today. Said he was exhausted, and that he just wanted to get the next two days of work over with.

As I was getting ready to help S5 with his shower, he decides to hop on the treadmill. Definitely uncharacteristic of him for 8:00 at night.

Interestingly, he has been listening to "old" H music while on the treadmill. Even is singing along to some of the tunes

Also -

I had mentioned about going to the beach for our family vacation. The other day, an idea popped into my head.

Several years ago, H and I went to a city about four hours from here for our anniversary. It has a lot of cool stuff for families to do. So, I told H I thought of this and had sent away for info. He didn't have much of a reaction.

So tonight he comes upstairs after exercising. I ask him how his workout was - he says he's not done, just taking a break. He asks me what changed my mind about where we went for vacation. I said it was closer, had more things for the kids to do, and we may still be able to squeeze a day in at the beach.

He was nice and said, okay I was just curious. He's back on the treadmill now.

Going to do my best tomorrow. I feel in a much, much better mind frame than last year at this time, and also from back in early September.

Just looking over some of the vacation materials I sent away for. Figured this is a WAY better way to spend my time instead of worrying about ho ho ho bag

Love the song, Tvs.

Love the ideas for vacation change, too! I like there is a connection there for H.

I have a song for you too


And if it's bad
Don't let it get you down
You can take it
And if it hurts
Don't let them see you cry
You can make it

Just hold your head up woman......
Hold your head high

And if they stare, just let them
Burn their eyes on you moving
And if they shout, don't let it change
A thing that you're doing

Hold your head up ...!!!!!

You'll be on my mind ALL day!

Can't wait to hear every detail of how it goes!

Hugs,
rH

Hey my friend. Sorry I wasnt able to get on here today.

I understand completely the reasons why you are nervous about tomorrow.

The thing of it is that people realize what a fool your h is and that she cant shine your shoes.

So, the only people who should feel embarrassed are them.

You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about, T.

You go in there with your beautiful arms and wonderfulness. Hold your head up high, my friend.

I will be thinking of you and sending prayers your way.

Love ya, girl.

You are a class act TVS...worry about nothing during the company meeting...

Make that vacation happen, the fact that h is showing some interest offhandedly says something...

This part is so surprising to me. I would think they would be more careful at work and be concerned about appearances. I guess that's just sign 1001 of OW insecurities.

One day I suspect your H will be shocked to find out a love like yours is so rare and precious and nearly impossible to find, and it's his. I hope when that day comes, he'll hold onto it and never let it go.

Good luck today!

You definitely are a very classy lady and no one can take that away from you. People may see them together, but they could also be thinking about how stupid he is not to be there beside you.

I like the change in vacation plans. You can always squeeze in a day or so at the beach later on.

Thinking of you today.

May the force be with you, TVS..Rooting for you from very far, far away:)

You Go, Girl!

Thank you everyone for your support - it means the world to me, truly - I have read all of your posts a few times to help me prepare

Let's see...

Sleeveless NY&Co dress - check. Good hair day - check. Fabulous me - check.

Here. We. Go.

So, as predicted, they sat together.

I think I did really well. I could feel H looking at me a few times, but I didn't look back (they sat behind me).

She tried her best to get dressed up and look nice - sorry sweetheart - FAIL!

Then to top it off, I was one of several people who received an award today. I had to get up in front of everyone to accept.

Good thing I was having a good hair day

We're broken up into groups now, and they are not in my group. I'll have a little break from seeing them. Will have to see them again later in the afternoon.

Thanks everyone for being right here with me

This sounds like that story from the Bible when she looked back and turned to stone.

Good for you!

Great job!